RSVP adding uninvited children

Well FH and I have 2 kids together they will only be there for the ceremony not the reception want everyone to enjoy themselves dance drink and not worry bout little ones being around so we've had a few people complain about not bringing their kids I said if my own kids aren't going to be there I'm not letting yours slide people just have to get over it

Amy, I love you, but you are so hateful towards children sometimes . . . it's unnecessary and detracts from the real issue, which is that they don't want to invite kids and the FMIL gave bad advice. @Paris, in American white culture, it's pretty typical to leave your kids with a babysitter, but many ethnic parents (including my own) would never dream of leaving their children with anyone who isn't family. My parents would always say they don't trust a stranger with their kids, BUT that meant if we weren't invited and a family member wasn't available, my parents didn't attend. Jess, I see why you're upset, and I would be peeved at FMIL. Maybe the easiest way to approach this would be to say to FBIL that you didn't invite the kids because you thought it might be too much for kids to sit quietly through an x minute ceremony. Could you ask him to get a babysitter to watch his kids at the church during the ceremony so that's not an issue? Or ask him to please promptly take them away

If he sees signs of impending trouble? I think that since allowing the kids won't send you down a slippery slope, and your biggest (only?) objection to the kids is the screaming during the ceremony, this might result in the least friction. I know people will say that it's your wedding and you should do whatever you feel like, etc., but your wedding is one day and you will have to have a relationship with these people for LOOOONNNG after the wedding is over and you've forgotten the details of it.

Can the mother of the kids stay home with them? That's what I would have to do if my kids weren't invited. It would suck but oh well...I'd get over it.

Just say no. What part of inviting selected guests does your family not get?

Tell them now and tell them often. "Your children are not invited to an event that they clearly will not enjoy." Or something like that. Maybe nicer. But seriously, you invited two people. It is not their prerogative to add three more, big or small. You tell them what you think and you stop discussing it. It's not a hostage negotiation; it's your wedding.

There are plenty of places that kids are not allowed....carnival rides where they are not a specific height....strip clubs....certain movies. The concept of everyone thinking their kids are welcome everywhere...well....no.

Sorry. I like kids as much as the next person, but I have also seen ceremonies and receptions commandeered by them. You've put too much time, money and emotion into this to say yes if you don't want to say yes.

LOL! Completely agree with Amanda G!

There are tons of kids on my side of the family but I just can't justify spending all that money on them when they will not enjoy it anyway. My venue does not have kids prices so they are full paying adults. The only kids that will be there are the 2 flower girls, the ring bearer and one of the flower girls 2 brothers. Trying to find some type of sitter that can take them back to the hotel after dinner so mom's and dad's can enjoy. Since I really don't have a problem with kids and don't mind if they are there, any RSVPs that come back adding their kids I will politely call them and let them know that they will need to cough up the per person cost because they were not in the original budget.