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Just Said Yes September 2020

Rogue Mothers

Laura, on August 5, 2019 at 12:37 PM Posted in Planning 0 12

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My fiancé and I originally wanted to elope in the Colorado Rockies where we live, but after bringing it up to our families, we were met with disappointment. We re-evaluated and decided to compromise and have a “proper” wedding at our favorite place in our town where we live, a cidery by the river. It would be a causal affair that would bring everyone together. We told our mothers and they seemed to share our excitement. Fast forward to a few days ago. Our mothers talked to each other and tore apart all of our potential plans (location, venue, food, dress, time of year, registry and honeymoon). We had agreed on a date and were ready to move forward, but now we’re putting everything on hold to re-evaluate. I feel like we have two choices: elope to keep our sanity and happiness or stay our course with the wedding plans but expect a bumpy ride. I also want to add that my fiancé is being wonderful and supportive through this process. I feel like we have each other’s backs.

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on August 10, 2019 at 2:02 PM

Champion November 2016
LB · on August 5, 2019 at 12:41 PM
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Are moms contributing? What are their issues with the date/venue/food etc? Any of it valid?
Your mother's probably are just looking out for you. I'd hear their concerns and then tell them not to worry, you've got it covered. Unless they're paying, in which case, they have a bigger say in things...
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on August 5, 2019 at 12:50 PM
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Who is paying? Are your mothers contributing at all financially?
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Super September 2020
Naikesha · on August 5, 2019 at 12:54 PM
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Well if you haven’t even began planning and putting deposits down you need to really ask your fiancé if you guys are truly up for a bumpy ride . If you guys have already bent once then I don’t suggest doing it anymore. Plans family call or lunch and say these are our options we go back eloping and it just being us or you guys go along with what we planned our place, date, dress, food etc this is our wedding and if we are not going to be happy or have unwanted stress we rather elope. Throw the ball back in their corner they won’t be happy but at least you lay the foundation that it’s your wedding and it will be what you want
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Just Said Yes September 2020
Laura · on August 5, 2019 at 12:57 PM
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No they are not contributing. We wanted to cover the expenses to avoid conflict.
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on August 5, 2019 at 1:00 PM
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If they aren't helping pay they have NO say. Have it the way you want to have it and when you want to have it. They don't need the details other then when and where to show up if they can't behave.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on August 5, 2019 at 1:02 PM
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Sounds like both routes are a bumpy ride versus the moms. They’re not contributing. Ignore them. Plan whichever of the wedding options YOU TWO would prefer
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 5, 2019 at 1:18 PM
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I agree, it seems like the moms are going to make either route stressful. Do what you and FH want! If that means eloping, go for it! You're adults who don't need parents' permission
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 5, 2019 at 1:19 PM
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Parents can be really helpful or annoying during the planning process and yours both sound moreso like they want it their way for things even if they aren't paying. Stick to your guns and do what you want because at the end of the day even if it isn't their way, I'm sure they're still happy for you.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on August 5, 2019 at 1:26 PM
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If they're not paying elope without them and say oh well when they complain. You deserve the wedding you guys want not something your mother's want.
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Super July 2020
D · on August 6, 2019 at 3:59 AM
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I'd tell them it's the cidery or eloping and there are no other options. People will say eloping is simple which in theory it is planning wise. When it comes to problems and hurt it creates in a family it's another story. Stick to your guns either way. They may not like all of your ideas but they rather celebrate with everyone there. Keep reminding them of it.
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Just Said Yes September 2020
Laura · on August 10, 2019 at 1:21 PM
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Thanks for everyone’s comments. My FH and I spoke with our mothers separately about their concerns. The biggest issue they had was having the wedding in Colorado. My family is in Wisconsin and his is in Arizona and Nebraska, so they would have to travel. We told them that we considered the travel but we still want to have our wedding in Colorado because it is our home and we don’t want it anywhere else. We understand that some people won’t be able to make it. There are still some things we are hashing out and I’m sure more will come up, but I’d say we’re making progress.
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Devoted April 2020
Sara · on August 10, 2019 at 2:02 PM
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I think you two should absolutely get married where you wish and if that means family and friends need to travel then that’s fine. If they can make it great and if not that’s okay. You’re still getting married to the man you love. I know it’s not easy pleasing everyone and I too like to avoid conflict but you have to do what will make this day best for you and your FH.
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