Rogue Bridesmaid!

Text her back ASAP and just say, “No, that won’t work. Please choose one from David’s so I know the color (or style) will coordinate with the other BMs. Thank you!”

Avoid the last minute drama and say something immediately. Rather her know now then the night before. Hopefully there is still time to return the dress!

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Agreed- be firm but fair.

You gave her choices from David's Bridal, and she went to Nordstrom? Rude. This is your wedding. Brides don't ask much of their bridesmaids, normally, but this is the ONE thing we need bridesmaids to be on board with--the dress!!

Tell her immediately that the dress she bought will not work. Tell her she needs to pick a dress from David's Bridal, or she can't be in the bridal party.

You can do this as gently as possible, so as to not hurt feelings. But you'll have to put your foot down and be firm on this. This is what you've chosen for your wedding party, and she can either get one of the approved dresses or she can come as a guest.

I messaged her and as nicely as I could just told her I was worried that her dress won't match the others because theirs are from DB and hers wasn't and just wanted to make sure it matched...her response..."Okay well we can only compare by picture at the moment so has anyone else bought theirs that we can get a pic?" YES...they all bought theirs from DB for a reason! I'm trying to stay calm but oohhhh lawd so help me!

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Round 2: Fight! lol

"This is a wedding, not just a party. I asked that everyone get their dresses from the same location for a reason - please do so. The dresses need to coordinate. As part of the bridal party, I am not asking much, but this is important to me. If you cannot understand this, I invite you to attend as a guest."

Call me catty, but when people deliberately go against instructions, I get a little mean lol

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"Yes, they all purchased them from DB so they would coordinate and match. Can you PLEASE do me the favor of going to DB and getting your dress from there? I know you like your Nordstrom dress but I'm really worried about this and it is stressing me out." Would that work? If I sent that to my sister I think she would take it more as my problem than hers.

Alternatively, you could take one of your BMs dresses (MOH/ sister) with you to Nordstrom and grab the dress she bought, and see if it coordinates/matches. This might be your best bet. If it doesn't, you can text her and say you did this, it doesn't match, go find something else.

Update:

Her response to me telling her the other 4 dresses are from DB..."Okay do they look like different colors from the pictures? If so, I don't need to be a part of the wedding party."

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? You won't be in your sisters wedding over a damn DRESS?!

My other sisters told me not to respond for a few days because I am upset and they'll deal with her. At this point I just want to say if that's how you feel then don't bother coming to the wedding.

You won't be able to order a new dress from DBs in 1 day. They will say max 6-8 weeks, it may only take 2 weeks if you're lucky, then you will need alterations.

Many of the dresses from DBs are very flattering on everyone and a great price. Her only duty as a bridesmaid is to order the dress you select..

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I'm glad your other sisters are helping you through this. I think that is a good idea to let them talk to her, and you cool down for a few days.. I wouldn't wait to long to revisit the issue tho (because of what previous posters said) I really hope that she comes to her senses! She should just pick a cheaper dress from david's bridal and suck it up for one day... Good luck girl, sorry your sis is causing drama!

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Yikes. Sounds pretty selfish to me! ugh, that's frustrating. Seems like she doesn't get that it's YOUR day! Glad your other sisters are stepping in to help. If it were me, after a response like that, I would literally respond with "Fine. You can wear your Nordstrom dress with the rest of the guests. Enjoy the party."

I agree with previous posts. This is rude on her end. If she is set on that dress tell her she needs to go to Davids bridal, get a color swatch and prove to you that it matches 100% otherwise she will need to get a new dress. Thats not okay, its not her day its yours. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Its never fun dealing with rogue bridesmaids. I had to deal with my fair share so far.

I'd let her know that it wouldn't work because it won't be the same colors as the other girls'. If she's sensitive I'd tell her it's more due to the fact that it's unfair to let her wear a dress in a different color/shade than everyone else because they were all limited on a place and color for theirs just like she should be. I'm doing the same thing with my girls and I honestly think that it's fair enough to only have a certain color, length, and designated place to get it. That's already a lot of leniency and it's really not fair to just go get a dress from a completely different place. Especially if it's a David's-specific color, another dress won't match it. That's the issue I'm having with "blush" or "petal" or whatever it is. There's a million different shades of it, but David's is called "petal" and my consultant said other places won't have that same shade.

View Quoted Comment Wow that's incredibly rude of her....her only job is to get a dress you approve if and stand next to you at the wedding, but it sounds like she's not willing to do that. I'd say something like "can you please do this for me. Wedding planning is very stressful and this dress situation isnt helping. You're my sister and I want you in my wedding party. There a ton of dresses to choose from at David's Bridal, please dont make this a big issue"

Final Update:

She has removed herself from the wedding because "she can't afford a new dress and it's all too stressful for her."

I honestly have no words.

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IF you want her in the wedding that much, I would have just bought the dang dress for her at this point. You also could have sent her a color swatch and just told her to match it. Your sister should have listened in the first place, but your also creating far more drama than is necessary around this dress.

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I think that's a nice way to put it!

Send her a color swatch to see if it matches. If not she need to get a new dress

If shes that worried about the price she can take the dang thing back.

I feel like shouldn't have to send her a color swatch. There are DB's where she lives. She has known since March and I specifically told her what I wanted. I have asked nothing of her in regards to the wedding except to buy a dress. She said she didn't like any of the DB dresses but in my mind I don't care. if this was her wedding I'd wear whatever the hell she wanted me to. Its a dress for one day.