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Savvy November 2016

Ringbearer concerns. Advice?

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April, on August 5, 2016 at 11:04 PM

So, my nephew will be my ringbearer. However, he is not very well behaved. I kinda felt like I had to have him because he's my nephew. Examples of behavior: Shreaks when excited, throws himself on the ground if he doesn't want to do something, hits people, spits on people.. the list goes on but its not as bad. My biggest fear is him shreaking when he is walking down the isle. I'm thinking of telling my brother to tire him out but he's sometimes even more of a terror when he's tired. Anyone else run into this concern? Any advice?

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23 Comments

Master October 2016
no1 · on August 6, 2016 at 10:27 AM
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I would advise NOT tiring him out before hand. To get the best behavior out of (most) kids you need three things, enough sleep, enough food, right kind of stimulation.

Most wedding I have been to the ring bearer and/or flower girls are under 5 and act like it. The best things you can do is have him "practice" and watch videos online of well-behaved ring bearers. Some children are worst at the unknown or when they feel uncomfortable of the task. Showing him what you expect him to do and how important it is to you that he does this MIGHT help.

Also have a back up-plan. My 7 year old brother will be the ring bearer and I have two 8 year old flower girls. 2 of them have very strong personalities and I fully prepared to have only one flower girl & ring bearer or have one flower girl to carry the basket and the other carry the pillow, or worst case no basket and have the one flower girl carry the pillow. Do you have someone of an older age that can walk down with him (or alone) just in case?
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Savvy September 2016
Robyn · on August 6, 2016 at 10:49 AM
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People will understand. If he gets out of control just have someone on hand to remove him if necessary. Like a babysitter
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Super May 2017
PushingButtons · on August 6, 2016 at 11:02 AM
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I basically had it decided for me that FH's neices (4 and 5) will be our flower girls because other FSIL had them as hers and is getting them psyched up about it. We didn't even ask or bring it up but both FSILs dote on them like they're perfect angels. I wouldn't be so pissed if it weren't for the fact that these girls are all about the negative attention seeking.
When it gets closer and if it doesn't blow over, FH and I will emphasize that there will be ZERO pressure for FGs to walk down the aisle and do their "job". It'll be one strike and if they're not behaving or refuse, oh well the show's moving on without them.
I hope this sounds realistic. I didn't want them as FG anyways...
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