Ring bearers mother!

Is the suit your FH is going to wear a unique color or pattern? If not, I vote that you should let her buy her son a suit in the same color. Everyone will be distracted by going "aaaaaw" and they wont even have a chance to notice that his suit is the same as the groom's.

I agree that people won't notice, but I understand you wanting him to be the same. Set a deadline, and maybe go with her to get him sized. Offer to pay again, and maybe the fact that you're there ready to pay will convince her if she's really struggling.

No one is going to know or care. You don't know people's financial situation and she might have too much pride to accept your offer of paying for it. Try talking to her in person if possible

My mother and I just paid for my nephews (ages 6 & 9) tuxes - they were as expensive to rent as the adult version, and although I know my sister's finances - I also know how she likes to spend her money. She "has" the money, but likes to save - and I don't blame her. I wanted them to wear something specific, so we just paid - I didn't even ask.

Do you have the type of relationship where you would feel comfortable just doing that? I know that's not for everyone.

Oh hey date twin! I finally found a date twin ! Lol

I don't think people will notice. We are going around March or April when all the Easter suits will be out for the rb.

Yes the suits are definitely unique to the point where you would notice. I have told her multiple time I would go with her to get him fitted and even pay for it myself and so has my mom. She refuses, she says she has the money to pay for it just doesn't see a point in spending it on his suit. I did try talking to her in person and she screamed and yelled at me about it. And how much she is paying for everything else. When my mom bought her dress and is paying for my bridal shower she offered to throw for me.

If you're offering to pay what the hell is the big deal? She's being difficult. He can wear the suit or he can not be the ring bearer.

Please do everything you can not to eliminate him as a ring bearer. Especially if he knows and he's excited about it.

At the end of the day, it's not a big deal, no one will really notice, and it's not worth losing a friendship over.

Nothing to add. I just hate when people are needlessly difficult! She should have known this to be a possibility when you first asked.

I in no way want to eliminate him. He's so excited about it. All I want is for her to go get him fitted by the 12th like I asked her to do last month. All she has to do is put down the deposit and we would figure it out from there. I am offering to pay for it myself and so is my mom.

@katelyn I'm glad to hear that you're so supportive towards your friends. Is she saying she won't get it done? Or does she just keep asking for something else? Be firm with her. If the 12th comes and goes without her ordering, then you'll have an issue. Till then, just give her some space.

Katelyn, I think you're micromanaging this. She's his mother, and she really does get the final say in what he wears. I wouldn't make this the hill to die on in this situation, or you may be losing your RB and your MOH. It's not going to matter that much in the long run, really.

@bemyguest she is refusing to take him to get fitted. She keeps saying that she would rather do this or that and what I'm asking for is a stupid idea anyways and she doesn't want me to be embarrassed on my wedding day. My mom and I offered to go with them this weekend to get him fitted and she point blank said that she wasn't ever going to take him to get fitted for any suit.

If he's not going to get fitted for any suit, then I guess he's out of the bridal party?

If she is point blank refusing then it looks like the ball is in your court...let her get a similar suit at Macy's or lose a MOH, RB, and probably a friendship.

At this point, I think your only option is to give the ultimatum, get fitted by X date or he's out of the bridal party, or let her buy a suit from wherever she chooses. My RBs got their tuxes from Amazon for $25 and they fit in perfectly with the bp.

Now I'm curious- what's so unique about the suit that you'd be able to tell they didn't match?

@LindseyO i was just going to ask the same thing.

OP do you have a picture of the suit?

I'm saying this in the nicest way possible - Let this go. This is your nephew and your MOH's son, and I don't think this is the hill you want to die on. I have less than 10 photos from my wedding that have my ring bearer in them out of 1000-ish photos. It sucks that she's being difficult, but it's not worth it.

Let her buy a similar suit from Macy's or wherever. Unless you have an extremely unique suit, it isn't going to matter in the long run and you're risking a lot more than matching pictures if you make this into something bigger than it is. Literally no one cares about the ring bearer after they say "aw" and the kid is done walking down the aisle.

I'm in the minority I think it's your wedding and you're choices... my wedding is the only day I have to have things my way (mine and FH) maybe offer to pay the difference since she doesn't want you to pay for the whole thing

She's being difficult for no reason properly to get attention?? Don't know

With that being said it's a bad stop she's putting you in because she knows you're not going to say he can't be you're ring bearer .

I had a similar situation with my sister I said no kids and 6 months before the wedding ...she has plenty of time and people who can babysit her 7 and 8 yr old... yet she said she didn't want to etc

Thinking I was going to back down... i told her it's a firm decision and guess what ... she has a sitter