Requirements of Being a Bridesmaid: the unabridged rule book

Mrs. S. I understand where you are coming from, because a lot of friends WANT to do more for their friends. They will absolutely offer to throw a shower or bachelorette. But what this OP is trying to express is that brides are not entitled to those things. If your bridesmaid couldn't afford to host either of those events, it's not justified to throw a bridal tantrum on them. Their only requirement/duty is to get a dress and show up to support you.

Will most friends go beyond that expectation because they love and support you? Yes! But again, it should not be required or expected. You accept all love and support with grace and appreciation. That's the difference!

Let's go at this from another direction. We see brides day in and day out "firing" or "releasing" members of their wedding party who fail to perform their "duties". Made up responsibilities have ranged from planning the exact shower the bride wanted to not attending every wedding related event the bride invited them to. People have had their title revoked for failing to get their dress by an arbitrary deadline or even not offering to help the bride plan 3 years out from the wedding. And many many other ridiculous reasons.

The goal here isn't to tell members of the wedding party to not put in extra effort if they choose to, it's to let brides know that expectations higher than this will lead to disappointment and broken friendships.

@Jersey Jen and @LoveinDC I think that's a much nicer way to put it and sounds way better than your bridal party just needs to show up.

And I get it. There is no reason for anybody to throw a tantrum or be rude to their BP, we are not children.

Bump

Bump again

Yes, yes, a million times yes.

@Mrs.S totally get where you were coming from and I'm glad @JerseyJen and @LoveinDC explained it perfectly.

People just have these outrageously high, unrealistic expectations of the people they hold nearest and dearest to them and it blows my mind.

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Does this mean I have to unchain my bridesmaids from the crafting table? LOL

Seriously, I haven't had any help except picking out a gown. I'm a BM in my friend's wedding that is 3 weeks in front of mine. I'm helping her as she wants which hasn't been much so far. I can't wait to be in her wedding and then she's in mine. Love her!

I think this needs to be bumped lol

But... But... But when do they become glitter covered slaves? Did I miss that part? Is there a magic spell? I don't want my nearest and dearest, I want glitter covered slaves!!!!!!! I'm a special snowflake!!!

But for real, all of this. Exactly. Bump bump

Bumpity bump.

Can we please add 'smile for 3 more photos than you wanted to take'