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Future Mrs.greenwood
Expert September 2019

Requirement at the wedding ( guest must wear white)

Future Mrs.greenwood, on May 4, 2019 at 10:54 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 245
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If you have a requirement at the wedding why do people feel you said something wrong to them. That’s not even being bridezilla if it was asked in advance and put on invitations. I brought this up before but my guest are required to “wear white” at my wedding bc of my theme. I guess I don’t get why people have issues with what the bride request. To me if you are a friend of the bride what is one day of fun and participating. You would do it for any other event you had to attend such as a white party, masquerade parties etc .. You get my point .. I’m sorry, I’m not arguing with anyone on this, but to me , that’s just rude to the bride in my opinion. It shows support

245 Comments

Latest activity by Fwbride, on May 8, 2019 at 1:33 AM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I’ve never attended a party that required me to wear a certain color. Until joining these forums, I didn’t even know this was a thing. Honestly, whether you feel it’s rude to the bride or not, I think it’s rude to require the vast majority of your guests to go out and purchase a new outfit they may never wear again simply to be a guest at your wedding.
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    To me, I feel like dictating what guests have to wear is a little over the top. This is definitely a know your crowd kind of thing. Personally, if I got an invitation stating what color I have to wear, I would be taken aback. I view a theme as the way you choose to decorate the venue. Guests are not part of that decor. Again, these are my personal opinions so take them at face value.
  • Molly
    Super October 2020
    Molly ·
    • Flag
    Some people don't like to be told what to wear. So I understand why you have some pushback.
  • Future Mrs.greenwood
    Expert September 2019
    Future Mrs.greenwood ·
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    How though? Again people do it for any other occasion why is one one color for a day “dictating” you would wear pink for a cause right or wrong so someone asking you to wear white for a few hours is dictating .....I just think people could be hypocritical on certain things ..... yes it’s apart of my decor but the people are too that’s why I invited you, not only to share my big day, but participate as well.
  • Future Mrs.greenwood
    Expert September 2019
    Future Mrs.greenwood ·
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    I don’t have any pushback as of yet my guest are willing to participate they think it’s a great idea... it’s too small for anyone to complain about. It’s not being told what to do you just supporting the brides request.
  • Future Mrs.greenwood
    Expert September 2019
    Future Mrs.greenwood ·
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    Now I didnt request them to go out and buy anything.. everyone has white in their closet .. we wash white clothes I’m sorry I guess I can agree to disagree on this topic ...
  • Btbride
    Super August 2019
    Btbride ·
    • Flag
    I mean, for most people there’s a big difference between casual theme parties/wearing a color for a cause and a wedding. There also aren’t very many people who ask all their guests to wear a certain color, so I understand why people think it’s over the top if it’s something they’ve never experienced before. It just comes across as a little extra to most people. Can I ask, are you planning to have a bouncer or something who kicks out anyone who isn’t wearing white?
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    A. My personal belief is that guests are not part of decor. They are people I want in attendance to celebrate a happy milestone in my life. They are not a flower vase. Also, guests are not participants. They are guests. The bridal party are participants. They have a role they are expected to play as part of the festivities. Guests merely show up. This is why even the parents of the bride and groom traditionally are not told what to wear, as they are considered honored guests and not part of the actual bridal party. B. If you go to a charity event, it may be encouraged that you wear a certain color such as pink for breast cancer awareness. It is not a mandate. A suggestion and a mandate are 2 very different things. Maybe if you phrase the invite with something like "Our theme is [insert theme], if you want to join in on the fun, feel free to show up in white!" it may come off as less demanding/harsh/etc.

    Again, this is strictly my personal opinion. It is no more right or wrong than yours is.
  • Future Mrs.greenwood
    Expert September 2019
    Future Mrs.greenwood ·
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    Can you explain the big difference? What’s extra about your support? I don’t think I would need a bouncer bc it will be on the invitations but yes my planner will be at the door ...
  • B11
    Super May 2019
    B11 ·
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    So you would actually not let a friend or family member into your wedding if they weren't wearing the color you dictated?

    I've been to over 20 weddings and have never once been told what color to wear as a guest.

  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    Wait, you'll actually turn people away if they arent wearing white?
  • C
    Super July 2019
    Crystal ·
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    I dont own anything white. Its kinda rude to say you have to wear this or that.
  • Future Mrs.greenwood
    Expert September 2019
    Future Mrs.greenwood ·
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    See I think it’s the way people look at things we always look at it in a “negative way” I think .. you said at a charity event it is requested but I will bet money that people will follow that order .. I have been to all white parties, black parties, etc and people have paid for these events but yet you go to a free event and you don’t want to wear what is requested....people celebrate holidays with events ugly sweater, St. Patrick’s Day ...I mean I could go on and on it’s hypocritical.
  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
    • Flag
    I was actually considering asking guests to wear certain colors as well before we decided on a DW. Because of the costs I decided against it but I completely understand what you're trying to do. I've seen it on wedding shows and it looks really nice. I'm on the fence because I understand both sides but I feel that those invited should be willing to play along because most women specifically will buy a new outfit to attend anyway.
  • Jennifer
    Expert October 2019
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I think part of it is that white parties aren't much of a thing anymore. But in all seriousness, it's no real difference from requesting black tie. If you invite someone to a black tie wedding, you expect they're going to wear black tie. And if that means they need to buy something or rent something, or politely decline, that's all there is to it. It would be the same if you were invited to a roaring 20s party. I think we're going to see a resurgence of those next year. We might see a new wave of white parties, as well.
  • Btbride
    Super August 2019
    Btbride ·
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    I think it’s extremely rude to not allow someone, potentially someone you love, into your wedding if they aren’t sticking to your color dress code. I also think most people don’t need to be explained the difference between a casual theme party that has no real bearing or significance on someone’s life and is just a fun party to a wedding, a momentous life event in which you commit yourself to a life partner. Weddings can have themes but they aren’t the same as any old theme party anyone could throw at any time.
  • Future Mrs.greenwood
    Expert September 2019
    Future Mrs.greenwood ·
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    Elderly people No but the ones who knew yes bc it was on the invitation... We plan weddings a year out and you mean to tell me you can’t wear white for a couple hours ... the people I know don’t have a problem with this bc they go to events all year round..
  • Btbride
    Super August 2019
    Btbride ·
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    I also don’t mean to say that you can’t do this for your wedding if it’s what you want! But you did ask why people care or think negatively about it so that’s the perspective I’m sharing.
  • Future Mrs.greenwood
    Expert September 2019
    Future Mrs.greenwood ·
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    I’m sorry you think that way. I’m sorry it isn’t rude to me.
  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
    • Flag

    I think it's a know your crowd thing. I'll leave my own opinion out because it's not my wedding and I don't know your guests. I think that as long as they know you and seem willing to participate then there's nothing wrong with it!

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