Required spray tanning for bridesmaids?

View Quoted Comment

You will be sticking out and looking washed out, especially if all the other BMs get a spray tan. The dress is pale. She's not being unreasonable. If she's willing to pay for a trial, she probably wants to ensure that you look good with the tan, and isn't just having you tan for the sake of it. She's having all the bridesmaids get a spray tan, she's not doing this to spite you or anything like that. Honestly I think you should get over it, and do this for your sister.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry but no. People have different skin tones. That’s what makes us unique. Just because someone has lighter skin than the person next to them does not mean they will looked washed out. That’s just from the idea that light skin isn’t as attractive as darker/tanned skin.

Interesting to see how divided everyone is on this issue.

If she's paying for it, you should suck it up and get the spray tan. At least do the trial before flat out saying no. It's over the top but I don't think it's wrong or offensive or unreasonable. It's your sister's wedding and she wants you to look a certain way, that she will pay for. Just do it. It's not your day.

Fwiw, I gave my BMs 3 colors of dresses to pick from and specified the length and fabric of the dress. That was it. Shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, nails, all their choice. So I'm not defending my own choices. But if I did care, and I was willing to pay for it, then they should do it.

The only time I've ever had a spray tan or put on any sort of fake tan, is for weddings that I've been a bridesmaid in. I wouldn't get one for my own wedding, but I had no problem doing so as a bridesmaid. I'm porcelain pale and I embrace my skin tone and I look better pale than tanned. But their weddings weren't about me, it was about them, and their vision for the wedding. I've worn dresses that I would never want to wear, I've had my makeup done in ways that I wouldn't want. To me getting a spray tan even as a pale girl isn't different to all that. So I don't think your sister is being unreasonable in wanting you to be tanned for the wedding, especially as she is paying for it. I don't think she's some kind of mean girl bridezilla for this, or that she's body shaming you.

But that said I think there some reasons why a bridesmaid can decline this request. If you don't want to turn up to work on Monday morning after the wedding with a half faded spray tan, then that is fair enough, especially if your appearance is important for your work. Also a spray tan is a bit more invasive (I don't know if that is the best word) than having your hair or makeup done. You strip down to your panties for it, or you just wear the thong they give you. For me that was no problem. I was a bit nervous but the ladies that did it were professional and put me at ease. But a lot of people will be uncomfortable with that, and if so that is too much to ask.

So why exactly are you so opposed to having a spray tan? It seems to be important for your sister. If you feel comfortable being topless in front of a stranger, then it is okay for you to refuse. If having the tan on after the wedding is a problem, then again I think you can refuse. But if you just don't like the tan, then just deal with it for your sister. If you don't like the look of it, or think it isn't you, realize that it her wedding not yours, and suck it up, or at least see out the trial

Ugh. I would not like if someone was trying to regulate my skin tone for her wedding pictures. This is beyond unreasonable. I'm not sure if I would fight it or not in your situation, but I am just amazed that your sister would even think that is a reasonable request. It is beyond bizarre and a pain for you if you want it gone the next day.

Honestly, I would refuse if I couldn't be assured that it would be gone before I went back to work. I don't think wearing a spray tan in my work environment would go over well, especially when I have to deal with clients.

If you have asthma or other breathing issues, don't get a spray tan. It can bring on attacks or infections.

Fun anecdote: when I was in college, all my friends decided to get do it yourself henna kits and dye their hair. It was supposed to wash out in 5-7 washings. I didn't want to, but the same Everyone Else Is Doing It line, so I said fine. I was taking an antibiotic at the time, but didn't pay it any mind. I used one that was to bring out red highlights. It turned my hair Barney the Dinosaur purple, and it was permanent. After a few months, I had to cut my hair short to get rid of it. My doctor said it most likely was because of the medication I was on effecting my body chemistry. Now I don't do anything unusual to myself because lesson learned!

Now, I know that this could happen to the very vast minority of people, but it's something to consider!

So I had 4 bridesmaids who wore peach dresses for my wedding, and 3 of them are very pale. I would have never asked that they do something to get tan for my wedding, but I know some of them tried to gradually tan (just from being outside) so they didn't feel too pale in their dresses. I've never had a spray tan before, so I wouldn't feel comfortable having to get one for a wedding just because I've seen too many horror stories where girls are uneven/orange.

If you get a clear mist and the lightest level (as a pale person), it will look lovely. Do a test run before the big day.

This is not ok to request/require. They don’t come off that easy in the shower. I have never gotten one, nor will I ever but I know people who have and they were not impressed.Styling hair and makeup are acceptable but asking someone to alter their appearance in any other way sends the message that they aren’t good enough. If this is a requirement that the bride refuses to budge on, then back out of the wedding and attend as a guest only.

Your body. Your choice. End of story.

I would absolutely never require my bridesmaids to get a spray tan. Depending on who they are it could make them incredibly uncomfortable. Definitely not okay.

She is being totally unreasonable. Nobody, ever, NEEDS a spray tan. You do not live to make her whi.s or visions true. Just say, this is something I feel strongly about. There is no need to be tanned to be in a wedding. I will not get a spray tan. If that is not acceptable to you, I will no longer be in your wedding party. And do not back down.

I know I’m late to this but I’m in the same boat just not the part about the tan being so the dresses don’t wash us out. What did you end up doing? I have nothing against people who get fake tans but it’s not me. I know I will feel fake if I agree to do it. I love my brother but I feel like I’m gonna mess up my relationship with them if I say no. I’m willing to do the full makeup but that’s because I can take it off right away. I can’t seem to get it across to him how uncomfortable I will feel, how I feel like I’m being asked to be someone I’m not