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Samantha
Devoted September 2020

Replies to unheard rsvps

Samantha, on August 8, 2020 at 10:12 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 23
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My rsvps are due soon and I’m kind of nervous because I have sent out a message about a week ago reminding everyone that they are due soon. Some I have heard from, others opened and ignored, and some said no. They day they are due I was thinking of sending a message again just telling them to please let me know even it you are not attending. How would you guys word it?

23 Comments

Latest activity by Queen Cone, on August 11, 2020 at 12:29 PM
  • Tara
    Devoted August 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    Same thing happened with ours. The day they were due I sent a final reminder that said “Don’t forget RSVPs are due today! If we don’t hear from you, we will assume that you regretfully decline.” We only have about 4 people who did not respond and they were marked as declined.
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  • Jessica
    Rockstar September 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    Ours are due in two weeks so next week I’m going to text the four families we haven’t heard from. I would say something like, “we haven’t heard from you and need to know a final count for our caterer and other wedding vendors. Please either RSVP on our website or let me know if you can make it by (date/time), otherwise we will mark you as unable to attend. We look forward to celebrating with everyone!”
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  • Emma
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
    • Flag
    Ours are due august 31st. I am planning through the Knot so A week before they are due it is going to text everyone a reminder. I am then going to contact people who didn’t respond between the September 1st and 4th because I don’t actually need by final number till September 10th.
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  • Jana
    Rockstar October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Just call people who haven't replied and ask if they're still planning to attend. That's really all you can do.
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  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
    • Flag
    It's pretty common to have people not respond. If they are mail-in RSVPs, I would wait a few days past the due date (people tend to drop them in the mail the day they are due). If it's online, then I would call/text people who never responded like a day or so after the deadline. It's also harder now given COVID, since people are more hesitant to commit to things.
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  • T
    Dedicated February 2022
    Tiante ·
    • Flag
    I would send a text / email the day after saying “hey just a reminder yesterday was the RSVP date, I have not yet received a response please take a minute of your time to accept or decline” then include an electronic link if you don’t already have one you can get one on theknot
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  • Neeva
    Rockstar September 2020
    Neeva ·
    • Flag

    I have more non reponses than people who RSVPed yes and no. People suck but I'm not going to try and track everyone down. If they don't RSVP then they aren't coming in my book!

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  • Jodie
    Expert August 2020
    Jodie ·
    • Flag


    Our RSVP date was August 1st. I have no response from about 25 of our 160 invited guests. I gave my guests 4 different avenues to RSVP- the stamped RSVP card in the mail, text me, email us, or use our website. I have a note on our FAQ page that if they don't rsvp but still plan on coming they should bring a chair and a sandwich. I'm not trying to be rude but I'm not spending all my time tracking people down to figure out if they're coming. These people are adults and almost all of them have been married so they know how it works. Replies to unheard rsvps 1




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  • Vicky
    Super January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    And what if they mailed their RSVP card back but it got lost in the mail?

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  • L
    Devoted September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    Take them as a no. Youve already sent a reminder, so sending another one will probably not help. It’s highly unlikely they will show up to the wedding after ignoring the RSVP and your reminder
    • Reply
  • Jodie
    Expert August 2020
    Jodie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    That's highly unlikely in this case.
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  • Emily
    Expert September 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    I like the first poster's note, in that it makes it clear - respond yes/ no, or we're assuming you're a no. That will take the uncertainty off your plate where you're being much more clear with them.


    If it's a small #, I'd just text individually. We had about 8 ppl in that boat, either I reached out or my partner's mom/ dad, so that we had a better count.
    I would highlight that depending on how far out your wedding is, you may get ppl switching to no. My original count was 83, but within the last week 5 have dropped and we have a month to go. We have a 100 person min payment though, so I'm not personally super concerned at this point unless we're down to 25.
    Good luck!
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  • T
    Devoted May 2010
    Theresa ·
    • Flag

    I don't know about everyone else, but our mail delivery is very slow right now. Things that used to take 1-2 days to be delivered are taking up to a week or more to arrive, and that's for local mail. If these people are RSVPing from any distance, I would call them to make certain they didn't send it right before the due date and it's en route, I realize it's inconvenient to have to call, but between Covid-19 and mail-in ballots, USPS is overwhelmed right now.

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  • Jana
    Rockstar October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Also be aware that sometimes emails can unintentionally get routed to the spam folder where no one is able to see them. If you call or text, provided that you have their number, you reach them directly on the first try.
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  • Vicky
    Super January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Why is that highly unlikely in this case?

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  • Sabrina
    Dedicated September 2020
    Sabrina ·
    • Flag
    I would be blunt and say if no RSVP is received by xx date then we will unfortunately have to count you as a 'regretfully decline' and we will celebrate with you at another time and place.
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  • Dezeray
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Dezeray ·
    • Flag

    I like the way Tara and Sabrina put it; short, sweet and classy. All graceful behavior for the bride to be assuming you invited people you actually care about. We are getting married in 3 weeks and i only have about 15 RSVP of the 78 invitations mailed.

    We are opting not to do an assigned seating arrangement. We will still have the tables numbered and have those who RSVP sit at the single digit tables as the DJ will instruct them to be served by table number. Hoping this will ensure our guests who RSVP get to enjoy dinner with us, while those who did not will still have a place to sit and visit.

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  • Samantha
    Devoted September 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I like this idea. I think I will leave the tables open and I saw an idea on Pinterest with place cards that said I didn’t Rsvp but I came anyways. I will send a text the day off just reminding them and if they don’t answer I will just have to move on.
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  • Taran
    Expert September 2020
    Taran ·
    • Flag

    Ours are due in a week and a half and we still haven't heard back from a fair amount of people. We also recently discovered that we may not have gotten all of our mail as my granny responded and sent her's back but I never received it. Responses are due the 19th so that following Monday I'm planning to send a message so that mail has time in case some people stick it in the mail on the 19th. This is what I'm planning to send, "Hey, just waned to reach out, we've had some trouble with the post office and we haven't gotten your RSVP for the wedding and wanted to see if you will be able to make it. We know Covid has placed a lot of limitations on people and understand if you can't make it, but we're hoping to see you there!"

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  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    A 15% non-response rate is pretty average. As PP have said (and as was my experience), a few people mailed in their RSVPs and I just never recieved them. I just sent a text to each individual to didn't respond. It can be the same text just copied and pasted. It took all of 5 minutes and everyone got back to me within a day or so.
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