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Just Said Yes June 2021

Removing bridesmaids?

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Tracee, on January 18, 2021 at 12:05 PM

Long story short - around May 2020 I asked 3 friends to be bridesmaids, then July 2020 suddenly my fiancé’s mother passed away.
Since her passing we are not wanting to do any sort of wedding planning so we decided on keeping things untraditional and small - our parents, my kids, our grandparents and his siblings. This would be fine except we have three bridesmaids that we need to “fire,” for a lack of a better word.(Thankfully he had never gotten around to asking his groomsmen.)
I know it is rude as can be but without his mom everything in our lives has changed and we just don’t want to follow through with our larger wedding at all. I’m just at a loss and he is too. I’m sure they’ll understand but I don’t know where to even start at this point.Advice? Suggestions? Support?

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23 Comments

Expert August 2020
Heather · on January 21, 2021 at 12:27 AM
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This is not a friendship ending move. It would be a friendship ending move if the OP was upset with them and asked them to drop out, or if she felt they weren’t doing as asked. This is a completely different situation. And if her bridesmaid can’t be supportive of their decision to cut things down due to a tragedy, then she is better off without them.
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Master June 2017
Mrs. Coakley · on January 21, 2021 at 2:08 PM
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So sorry for you and your fiance's loss.
It sounds like this is unprecedented. As long as nothing has been purchased, I think it's okay. They should be understanding in that you are downsizing and don't want to have all the pomp and circumstance.
I will say, I would still probably invite them to the wedding. It's pretty crappy to be asked to be a bridesmaid and then not invited at all.
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Just Said Yes June 2021
Tracee · on January 21, 2021 at 3:46 PM
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Thank you, everyone, so much for all of the replies!! I know that him and I feel much more confident in our choice and less worried. Now to see how it will go lol. Either way though we are doing what we need to for us, and all of you have helped to push us to just get it over with sooner rather than later (especially since we have 5 or so months until the day)!
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