Removing a Bridesmaid

Her priority is her life, as it should be, not your parties.

I wouldn't recommend removing her from your bridal party because that will only cause more problems. In a perfect world, your whole bridal party would attend all of your events but unfortunately that isn't always possible. When you first asked her to be in the wedding, did you go over your expectations? I made sure to let my bridesmaids know that the only thing I was requiring was for them to go to a dress fitting so they could buy the proper dress and stand with me on my wedding day and anything else they choose to do is extra. If you had different expectations for your bridesmaids, they should have been notified prior to agreeing.

I think its awesome that your other bridesmaids rearranged their plans to be at your shower and bachelorette but that definitely wasn't necessary. A family reunion is a big deal and she could have already committed to that before your plans were finalized. Is there any reason as to why you NEED her at the bachelorette? I understand you want your closest friends to be there and celebrate with you but getting a group of people together isn't an easy task. If you really need her there, you should probably reschedule. If you somehow force her into going, be prepared for her to be slightly miserable due to missing out on her other plans.

If this bridesmaid told you she was going to St Augustine that weekend, I would consider her not going. If you need a yes or no answer, I'd either call or get together with her and explain that you need to know for reservation purposes. While you shouldn't have to chase her down to make sure she orders her dress, if her being a bridesmaid is that important to you then you should be more accommodating and offer to go with her when she wants to. Weddings always seem to come with drama and there is no need for it.

I still haven't figured out why you are upset about her not having her dress yet. The other women do? How nice. But there is no race here. For a December wedding, with bm dresses usually taking 2 months, and alterations being easier than a bridal gown because usually they are a simpler construction, she has months before she needs to see about the dress. And buying a dress 3 months before the wedding, not 6-8, makes it far less likely her size will change between ordering time and the wedding. What is the problem here?

Ladies I have my reasons and it would take too long and too much time to get in to all the details. At the end of the day she agreed she cant be in the bridal party as she cant afford her dress (which is not a BM dress, its a special occasions and we have been told they wont be out much longer... hence the needing to get her dress). You ladies have a wonderful evening. We will have to agree to disagree on many aspects.

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You dont need to explain yourself to close minded people.. like the ones often , if not always, found on these forums.

The only job bridesmaids have are to attend the day of and the rehearsal. Anything else is a bonus. They certainly aren't required to attend floral events.

However, it's different if she's not attending things simply because she is mad you aren't working around her. I had that issue - former BM threw a fit if something wasn't convenient for her despite me telling her that her attendance wasn't required.

I had 2 bridesmaids not come to my bachelorette, 1 of whom has missed most of my showers. Not every event is going to work for every person.