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Corrie
Dedicated September 2017

Reminding Guests about the Wedding

Corrie, on September 11, 2017 at 12:15 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21

We have a few people who have rsvp'd but my gut is telling me they won't show. On one hand (and this is terrible) I don't care if they don't show. On the other, I'll feel bad for FH because they're his guests. Should we call to check in and make sure they're coming? We're adults so I shouldn't have to remind you to show up.

21 Comments

Latest activity by Justin, on January 4, 2018 at 4:22 PM
  • Daniella
    VIP October 2017
    Daniella ·
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    I would say no. If I sent in my RSVP and said I was coming and someone called to "remind" me, I would be pretty annoyed.

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  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
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    The RSVP is the reminder to go. I would be pretty annoyed as a guest if I got a message from the Bride and Groom reminding me to show up. It would be insulting and insniuate that they don't trust me or think I'm flaky,

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  • Nicole
    VIP November 2017
    Nicole ·
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    I don't think so. Like you said, they are adults. They know how to keep track of their own schedule.

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  • MrsC2B
    Expert December 2017
    MrsC2B ·
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    I wouldn't remind them. If they have RSVP'd, it is their responsibility to show up.

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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    No. The RSVP should be enough. Lots of people (myself included) hang invites on their fridge so they won't forget.

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  • Amanda
    Super October 2017
    Amanda ·
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    I wouldn't do it, but if you can't resist, send a text or email that says something innocuous like, "Looking forward to celebrating with you this weekend!" a few days before.

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  • David'sBride
    Devoted October 2017
    David'sBride ·
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    Call them if the RSVP deadline has passed. Explain you have to give a final head count by a certain date. "Haven't received your RSVP. If I don't hear from you by (date) I will mark you as no"

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  • Ashley
    VIP May 2018
    Ashley ·
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    I would text them and say "I'm so excited to see you next weekend!! FH has mentioned a few times how excited he is you're coming. Let me know if you need directions, when we went the first time we got lost." Or something like that.

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  • S
    Devoted April 2018
    Sophia ·
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    Definitely not. Lots RSVP yes and just don't show

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    David'sBride, I think the guests have RVSP'd though, according to the OP.

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  • Kelly
    Super September 2017
    Kelly ·
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    We are having the same issue. We invited FH's Father, step-mother, and Grandmother because his mom forced us to. He has no relationship with any of these people and his dad is notorious for committing to something and not showing up. We just kind of have to wait and see what he is going to do.

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  • DandT715
    Super July 2017
    DandT715 ·
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    I wouldn't call them. If they don't show up, that's on them. We had some no shows with no explanation after RSVPing yes. It sucks and it's annoying, but there's not much you can do. Smiley sad

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  • Imogen
    Dedicated May 2017
    Imogen ·
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    Don't call to remind but definitely as someone else said send a message saying can't wait to see you do you have any questions or anything, which is a) a reminder or b) a chance to guilt them into telling you they're not coming

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  • Natalie
    VIP June 2017
    Natalie ·
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    Are they travelling? FH could always ring and ask if they're ok with booking accom etc.

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  • Jessesgirl923
    Expert September 2017
    Jessesgirl923 ·
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    I feel the same way !!! So many flaky people. But if we are important to them then i would hope they would remember our special day.

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  • Corrie
    Dedicated September 2017
    Corrie ·
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    I'm thinking they won't show because I haven't heard a peep from them since the intital rsvp. They are all coming from out of town and never been to D.C., so I figured they'd have some questions. It would be funny if my guests ended up flaking out.

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  • S&J
    Master August 2017
    S&J ·
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    Something that the banquet manager told us to do regarding ppl we think may not show even though they RSVPed yes: don't count them in your final numbers given to the venue. So say your final number is 100 ppl and you have 5 ppl think may not show--pay for 95. If those 5 show up at the wedding, the venue will accommodate them and you will pay for them that night. Now I get every venue is different and this may not be feasible. However I did this. And it helped guard me against some of the no shows.

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  • Ashley
    VIP March 2018
    Ashley ·
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    I wouldn't remind guests if they're already RSVP'd. There is no need to micromanage your guests.

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  • Tamara
    Super October 2017
    Tamara ·
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    I am not going to lie, but this has crossed my mind once ( I would never do it, but just something I have thought about ONLY for certain people) because a dear friend of mine rsvpd for my bridal shower ( she was the first one, according to my maid of honor) and the day of the shower, one hour into it, she was still not there. Now, she would typically call or text to let me know she's running late, or whatever, but that day it was NOTHING, so I got worried and texted her asking if she was ok. Come to find out, she had completely forgotten ( she was in the middle of her exams) and felt so embarrassed. She immediately called uber and showed up to the shower - it meant a lot to me that she came, even though she forgot.

    Basically, she kept thanking me for that text, if not that, she would've forgotten and be upset.

    Again, I agree with everyone else - no need to remind them. Just thought I would share my experience. Also, Bridal Showers are not as grand ( nowhere near, lol) as Weddings, so hopefully, guests will remember to come. Smiley smile

    ETA - Keep in mind, that I had already received her gift at home. ( she mailed it to my house from my registry) so I wasn't out there hunting for gifts, I just genuinely wanted my friend to be there with me.

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  • Rosered
    Devoted January 2019
    Rosered ·
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    If these are people you see or talk to normally, you can throw in how you are so excited for your wedding next week or that you can't believe the wedding is only a week away. If they are relatives you see less often then I don't think that there is much you can do.

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