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Renae
Savvy July 2013

Remarrying the same person

Renae, on July 19, 2012 at 4:28 PM Posted in Planning 0 11

I already married the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. We got divorced last year after PTSD and a TBI (tramatic brain injury) stole him away from me. The meds he was on made him numb and after a year of fighting neither of us had the energy to keep going. We ended up getting a divorce. I didn't want to but had to protect myself legally.

It's now two years later. We've both done extensive counseling and are now planning on getting remarried next year on our anniversary. (we are spending the next year getting to where we want to be finacially since we live 1,300 miles apart.

I'm struggling with vows. I know I have a year but I have no idea where to start! It's not the same, we've done this. We broke them the first and I feel like they need to be deeper and I want to write mine myself but I'm not good at that!

11 Comments

Latest activity by WasSoon2BMrsSmith, on July 19, 2012 at 6:55 PM
  • krisalicious
    Master April 2012
    krisalicious ·
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    Wow! That's a really incredible story. I'm so glad you guys were able to work it out and that you're excited to recommit yourselves.

    I think your vows will come with time as you reflect from the heart on how you have gotten to this great place in your relationship.

    I'm so happy for you. Smiley smile

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  • Mrs. Christie H~
    Super August 2012
    Mrs. Christie H~ ·
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    Wow, that is great that you guys are getting back together. PTSD is a hard thing to overcome, and I am so happy for you guys that you have both been strong enough to handle it and get back to a better place!

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  • Jacki
    Super April 2013
    Jacki ·
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    Krisalicious is right; the vows will come to you. Just keep a notebook handy, and when you find yourself thinking about your relationship, and everything the two of have gone through together, just jot down what comes to you. Then you can pick and choose or fine tune anything from that notebook as the day gets closer Smiley smile

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  • Brandy
    Expert September 2012
    Brandy ·
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    You can slip somewhere in there the line about if you truly love something let it go, and if it comes back to you then you are meant to be Smiley smile that seems like it would resonate with your situation!

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  • Heidi
    Expert May 2013
    Heidi ·
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    Just write from your heart.. how you feel.. when you have those moments during the year when you think of how much you love him like PP said they will come to you

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  • Carole M (a.k.a "old tart")
    Master October 2011
    Carole M (a.k.a "old tart") ·
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    Congratulations! I have seen first hand what PTSD can do. I am glad the man you love has returned and you are able to work it out. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Re your vows, as others have mentioned. They will come to you. I wrote mine about two weeks prior to our wedding, in the middle of the night.

    Good luck and Happy Wedding Planning!

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  • P
    VIP May 2013
    Private User ·
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    Thats amazing...

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  • Renae
    Savvy July 2013
    Renae ·
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    Thanks girls. I wish I was getting married tomorrow...this is so hard waiting. But that's just the way it works. The life of an Army wife (papers or not, active duty or medically retired) is all about waiting lol.

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  • Patrick Anthony
    Patrick Anthony ·
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    Personally written vows are by far the best part of a ceremony. I can write the most magical ceremony ever written, and it will always (and rightfully) be outshined when the couple writes personal vows.

    The best thing to do is to write what you think you want to say, then edit it down, then edit again. The first draft should just be a stream of thought put to paper.

    Even though I am 900 miles away from you, I'd be happy to help with this, feel free to contact me.

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  • heavenlyyoyo
    VIP August 2012
    heavenlyyoyo ·
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    Renae, I am so excited for you, and like you, I am remarrying the love of my life after a divorce! It is so awesome to see love bring a couple back together and now you can truly say for better or worst. These ladies have given you awesome advice on your vows. We are not writing vows because neither of us like to talk in front of people, but in our case actions speak louder than words.

    Congrats!!!

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  • WasSoon2BMrsSmith
    Master September 2010
    WasSoon2BMrsSmith ·
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    Meds don't last forever. What happens when they stop working as many do? Think about that when writing your vows. Do you actually mean in sickness and in health till death do us part? and if NO don't include it. Only include what you actually mean.

    I hate vows that say stupid things like I vow to always put the toilet down etc. Vows should be true not easily broken and only what you really really intend to do, so stick to that and think about what you really intend to do.

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