Religious Family Disagreements

Don't worry about getting married in a church/temple, have the ceremony where you'd like.

At the reception only have beer/wine, soda, water along with coffee/tea during the meal.

There are plenty of beautiful wedding dresses with a hint toward modesty. Don't go strapless, backless, or a deep plunging neckline. You don't have to wear a turtle neck and long sleeves, but, there is a compromise

Good Luck.

I think you should do what you want, especially if you're paying for it. I totally understand wanting to respect your family, but at the end of the day, this is your wedding.

(Sorry this is kind of long) I am actually going through the same situation and also feeling the same as you feel. I come from a non-denomination religion and I have the utmost respect for the church as well. I do my best to believe and follow. However, my mother wants for us to "do things the right way" as she would say and have the wedding in a church. I have always imagined my wedding being in a church. So I am not against having it in the church. The problems that I feel will be coming up are just as you said about having alcohol at the wedding. She is aware that my fiancé drinks during special occasions and while she does make mention about it to me from time to time. It gets really annoying. Also my fiancé was always raised in the church but strayed away from it due to past hurts. He has just joined our church. My mother is also not into the revealing wedding dresses that I like, and feels that revealing wedding dresses should be saved for the groom after the wedding, but not presentable for a wedding. And as of now both of my parents are against us getting married because my fiancé was not in the church when we met and they do not want his family helping out with the wedding. In my opinion, you should choose how you want your wedding due to the fact that you are paying majority for the wedding. Yes, you should keep in mind of your parents wishes, and try to accommodate what they want in to the wedding, but not all of them, if they really and truly love you they will accept your wishes for YOUR wedding.

I sympathize with your situation, I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and my dad is still devout. He respects my decisions about my wedding (he is pitching in a little, but the budget is mostly coming out of my savings), but I know he would have preferred if my fiance had asked his permission and he would want the ceremony, dress, etc. to be more religious and conservative that things are going to be.

I think having no hard alcohol or wearing a veil or something over your shoulders at the ceremony are really nice ways to respect your parents values and traditions without disregarding your own wants for your wedding.

Where are you planning on having your ceremony? IMO, the best idea is to have your ceremony outdoors. I really don't think anyone can legitimately think being surrounded with nature (God's creation) is in any way disrespectful to tradition.

Exactly. It's your life. They're living theirs the way they think is best, you're living yours the way you think is best. Just hope they're secure enough in their own beliefs to respect yours.

Same situation here-I'm exmormon and left a year ago, although under more difficult terms with my family. It's a long story. Following this thread!