Relationship Poll

2 all the way. We are who we are health-wise. Our motivations and habits don't change because someone wants them to. If you're not compatible that way, then that needs to be considered in the relationship and see if that's a deal breaker.

We both knew we weren't physically 100% each other's types. But we have the same health goals. So we work together to try and achieve them. I will say, one of these days I'll dye my hair red for him, since he has a thing for redheads. And since I've never dyed my hair before, the look on his face will be priceless!

I would never gain/lose weight for anyone. My H thinks my legs are "too skinny" and I've made it clear that I don't really care what his opinion is because I am fine with the way my body looks lol. I'm healthy, so I don't see a need to change my appearance. I haven't worked out in many moons, so when I pick that up again, my legs probably will get bigger, but it isn't to please H. We made promises to each other that with the exception of extenuating circumstances like an illness/pregnancy, we would keep ourselves healthy and in good shape. So if I was unhealthy (in either direction) and H commented on that as a way for me to take better care of myself, I would take that into consideration. But as far as changing my appearance/keeping my appearance as something I don't like for his sake? Nah.

"If you're not compatible that way, then that needs to be considered in the relationship and see if that's a deal breaker."

This is a very interesting perspective.

I would say option 3, compromise. I want my partner to be happy, but my mental health and well being have to be considered as well. If there are toxic behaviors that need to change, then I will obviously work toward changing them; but when it comes to an ingrained personality trait (feeler vs thinker; introvert vs extrovert) that's something you can't change.

If something is bothering my husband enough that he brings it to my attention then it must really be a big deal for him because he rarely says anything. Because of that explanation, I'm more willing to compromise when he brings things up.