Rehersal dinner

I think if they are hosting then it's their say how things go.

I don't think it would be odd to have a group prayer before dinner. And as always, they pay so it's their say.

Nothing is wrong with them praying, but they shouldn't make everyone else join hands and make it a thing that everyone has to participate in. Them paying doesn't equal forcing people to go against their beliefs to pray if it's something they do not do.

To answer your question however, they won't take it lightly, but maybe have your FH mention to them that not everyone is religious so you would like to not join hands or have an organized prayer before dinner

Just because they pray doesn't mean everyone has to join in. Respect their choice in wanting to pray before dinner.

ETA: Prayer is not a new, abnormal thing to do before a meal. I'm sure most of the people there know FH's parents and know that this is something they do.

They won't start until everyone hold hands so you feel obligated to participate

You can ask, but they are the hosts, so it is their say. I think it would be less rude to ask for a specific simple standard blessing thanking god for food and fellowship. For example: "Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen."

Is there a possibility of compromise? A prayer said more like a toast, maybe not with the hand holding, but still having a blessing before the meal. I'm not very religious but wouldn't be upset by having a blessing at the meal when I know the person that's hosting is likely going to do that.

Oh boy...

There may be some non-Christians there who do not want to join in. Some Jews may not want to participate if they mention Jesus. When the parents ask them to join hands, some may be wary.

First off you can't ask someone not to pray or pray among themselves. They are hosting your dinner......its too early for this.

What about asking them to not have everyone join hands? Also, are the specific people coming to your rehearsal dinner that you are worried this would offend?

FWIW, we said grace before dinner was served at our reception. No, not everyone was Christian there, but it was important to my dad. Your entire celebration is not just about you and FH, but also about honoring those who made both of you into the people you've become. Your FILs are being gracious enough to host your rehearsal dinner, so it may come down to allowing them to have their prayer or paying for it yourself.

First off you can't ask someone not to pray or pray among themselves. They are also paying and hosting for your dinner.

I am super uncomfortable when asked to pray with people, since I don't believe in God and I find it really hard to suppress my thought that this is a waste of time and so on. I feel so guilty about it, like I'm sullying something that they hold dear with bad thoughts, but I can't help it. If it's at all possible, I just excuse myself and go outside.

I'd say have your FH talk to his parents. Maybe he can ask them to invite all those willing to participate to join hands, while others can respectfully leave the room during that time. He'll know better than you how flexible they are on this.

I'd be uncomfortable making everyone hold hands like this. Ugh, why is this part necessary?

I honestly think a prayer before the meal, especially a wedding prayer, is a very kind gesture! So sweet! Let them do it!

I think FH should talk to his parents about this. You can't ask them to not pray. I would have him maybe tell them to not force people to pray with them as a respect for those who do not wish to participate

Minime, that's very rude and judgmental to say someone who is religious has ridiculous delusions. No one is disrespecting you for being atheist, I think you should do the same for those who are religious. To them it is not ridiculous or delusions. As someone who does believe in God, I find that insulting that you would think I'm delusional for believing in something that you don't. Please choose words differently and more respectfully

Man, I hate that shit. The place I used to work for would try to make us do that whether we ordered pizza at the office or went out for holiday dinner. It's so incredibly inconsiderate to non-religious people and people of different religions. Have your FH talk to them. Even if his parents are paying, it's not fair for your guests to be be subjected to that. Maybe even just pay for it yourselves so you don't have to deal with it.

As awkward as it is, just like asking who is going to be paying for what during a wedding, it's a conversation that needs to be had. Go in to it with thankfulness they are willing to host your rehearsal dinner, and then let them know you understand it's important to them to pray and you are respectful of that. I would then ask them if they could keep it simple, and not have everyone hold hands. Like someone else said, if your bridal party knows your in-laws, they should know what to expect already. And maybe even let your BP know so that they aren't caught off guard if not.

Ask if everyone can bow their heads or close their eyes instead of holding hands.