Rehearsal on day of wedding??? Help!

Skip the rehearsal all together.

You can skip the rehearsal, or do it the day of. There is nothing wrong with either. However, keep in mind that the day of your wedding will fly by faster than you think, and a rehearsal could eat up a good hour. As far as Friday dinner, since your MIL is paying, she has a say about this. The rehearsal dinner is usually held immediately after the rehearsal as a way for you to thank your wedding party. This is when you give them their gifts. So, in a way, I can see your MIL's point. If you still want to have a dinner, then offer to pay for it. Otherwise, you have to respect your MIL's preference since she is paying for it.

Everyone in your bridal party knows how to walk, correct? There's no need for a rehearsal. About 15 minutes or less before the ceremony, the DOC will gather everyone in the bridal party and will tell you what order to walk in. Most likely he or she will ask you in advance who is in the bridal party, who is walking with who, are there any special needs (elderly who need assistance, wheelchair, etc.). The only time I've ever heard of a rehearsal being on a different day is when it's been at a church, since it involves additional things to walking down the aisle. We didn't even rehearse - DOC gathered us 10 minutes before and told us what to do and where to go and then lined us up in correct order and cued us when to go. Even if you do rehearse the walking part, it should take no more than 10 minutes.

As for a RD, it's not necessary. A lot of times people have a small dinner the night before for family, OOT guests or with the bridal party and they call it a Rehearsal Dinner but really, it's just a dinner. If you want it, pay for it yourself.

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Thank you! Yes they all know how to walk That's why I don't think its a big deal if we do it the day of, and the venue offers it at no charge, so why not even if it just helps a little by calming some nerves.

I think that may be where I am struggling as well, I feel like things like the dinner are expected by everyone for some reason so I have to do them. But I guess that is not really the case.

Rehearsals aren’t needed. The procession down the aisle and standing at the altar are self explanatory.

If you want a rehearsal, I agree it’s much more considerate of you to just have a quick practice run hours before the actual ceremony. I don’t think the Friday dinner is necessary, and can’t really blame your FMIL for wondering why she still has to pay for dinner when there is no rehearsal. If you want to host a welcome dinner or some sort, that’s fine, but it sounds like you’ll have to host it yourselves.

I don't see what's wrong with doing a rehearsal the day of. I know any wedding I've been involved in the rehearsal is usually just a quick walk through before hand, not some elaborate thing.

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Thank you! I just had no idea if it was appropriate do a rehearsal the day of, I didn't think it should be a whole ordeal. And yes we are not opposed to hosting on ourselves at all! She was the one who suggested hosting originally, but I understand the circumstances have changed.

I think taking a couple minutes day-of for your coordinator to walk everyone through where they'll go and stand would be fine. Just draw diagrams like it's a football play

As for the rehearsal dinner, I agree it's a fun time to hang out with family and thank them for everything. Maybe your FMIL is concerned about the money? If so, there's nothing wrong with prepping a bunch of baked ziti and salad (can you tell I'm italian?) and having close family and the bridal party over for dinner one night. That's what we are doing! As long as someone (or you) has a house and is willing to have everyone there, maybe present this idea to her? She can pitch in for food. Just a thought.

Good luck!

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People can make you crazy about these things. Opinions are like noses, everybody's got one. Have dinner if you want, and don't do it if you don't want to. Absolutely not necessary. We hosted a dinner at our house for OOT guests, which were mostly my husband's family and some local family who wanted to spend time with them at our house the night before from 6-9. We got sandwich platters from a kosher deli (we're in NY and family is in Florida so they were craving good NY deli), had classic NY desserts (black & white cookies, rugelach, babka) and Dr. Brown's soda plus beer and wine. We kicked everyone out at 9pm. Do whatever works for you, whether you have a dinner or not. My only advice is if you do want to have a dinner, pay for it yourselves. This way, no one can tell you who to invite, where to have it, etc.

Having a quick rehearsal day of the wedding is fine.

Since your FMIL offered to host a RD after the rehearsal, she gets a say in the planning of it. She gets to say what she will and won't pay for. Sounds like she was willing to host a dinner if it was taking place immediately after the rehearsal, but not a dinner for the same if having a dinner. If you and your FS still want to have a thank you dinner instead of a RD, that's fine, but you should plan to pay for it yourselves since it's not what your FMIL offered to do and it's not what she's interested in hosting. Know that while it sounds fun and like a sweet thing to do, a dinner isn't necessary if you're doing the rehearsal on the day of the wedding, just before the ceremony.