Rehearsal - My officiant said he doesn't do them?

My officiant didn't attend my rehearsal. My DOC walked us through where to go and we were done.

You can have a rehearsal without the officiant, but if you don't want to have one, as long as everyone knows how to walk and stand, they'll be okay.

I'm no professional, but I don't think that is his decision to make. If you insist and he still refuses, I would pick someone else!

I don't think you need the officiant for the rehearsal. The rehearsal is for the wedding party to know how they are suppose to line up and walk out. I'm not sure if I'll even be able to have a rehearsal because all but 1 of my BM live in a different state. I'm not really worried about it.

I know some officiants charge for a rehearsal. Really the rehearsal is about walking and standing, so you don't need him, you can go over the ceremony with him at an officiant meeting maybe?

I agree with D+S, if this is something that you truly want to do and it would help to relieve some of your worries, and he refuses, I would pick someone else

Celia would tell you the rehearsal isn't necessary, so I guess it's not uncommon for officiants to recommend against them. And you could certainly do it without him if you really want to. But that said, if you want a rehearsal with the officiant, I don't think you'd be wrong to insist, or find another officiant. It is a bit weird to me that he "doesn't do them", as opposed to "doesn't recommend them".

My officiant said the same thing but he also explained why and that the wedding party should do a rehearsal, but he doesn't need to be there.

We will meet with him closer to the wedding and go through the ceremony. That's it! And i agree with him. Once the FH and i know what we need to do, we can pass that information to the bridal party. I don't see why he needs to be there.

Ok, maybe it worried me because I have no clue what to do on the day of so not sure how I would rehearse with my bridal party. I don't have a DOC/Wedding Planner. Who helps me with this? Maybe I will give my venue a call and ask---I'm getting married in South Jersey and the venue themselves, I believe have someone.

We get this question all the time. I am assuming that your wedding will take place at the same venue as your reception. If your wedding venue is a popular wedding spot, there really isn't a need to have your officiant there. Your coordinator at the venue will be your go to person to assist you with the processional and recessional. Keep in mind that the only part practiced is the entrance (processional) and exit (recessional). The actual ceremony is not rehearsed.

You would actually need your officiant for the rehearsal if your wedding is going to be located in a church or venue that does not normally function for weddings (VFW, public park, beach, etc).

Feel free to reach out if you need help. I'm right here in South Jersey too.

You don't need one unless it' a very complicated ceremony with elements like the Stephana (crowning) or possibly the cord/veil/coins. We're probably closing in on about 2000 weddings, and we've only done maybe 30 rehearsals on a different day. There are a lot of reasons for this, not the least of which is that it makes zero difference to the end 'product', especially if you're in a venue with a banquet manager/coordinator. This is what they do every weekend, several times. And if we're good, we do too.

We can almost never get into a venue on the Thursday or Friday before a wedding; the venues are all booked, and rehearsing in another space is really kind of pointless. We all usually booked too, and if it's too early in the week and people in the BP aren't here yet, it's kind of pointless too. We'll do them if the couple or the parents think they are absolutely vital, but we do charge for them because we could be booked for a wedding that night.

You are going to be just tapped out crazy the day before, and having a simple get together to chill with your BP and immediate family is much more suited to the stress level of getting them all together to walk down an aisle and stand.

No one wants to be there, no one wants to pay attention, no one remembers a thing we tell them.

This is how we handle it, and probably if your officiant isn't doing rehearsals, it might be pretty similar; when I do the final edits with our couples, we put together a OCD worthy rehearsal blueprint, with the processional order and stage cues, music that goes with each 'group' of people, (I color code all this because I'm insane.....), a prop list and arrival times. (Also a reminder of what to bring; license, rings, unity candle, etc). We arrive an hour ahead of time to go over everything with everyone who has a part (how will the bride/groom get up the aisle...who will have the rings, etc), coordinate with the venue people, musicians and photographers, and make sure everything is in place.

After the guests are seated, we help the venue people line everyone up and there we go. Which is why it doesn't even make sense for us to 'run' the rehearsal; we're the first ones up the aisle. After that, it's up to someone else.

All that being said, you shouldn't feel like your concerns are unanswered. Talk to your venue and find out how they handle this; odds are that if you're in a hotel or a venue, they'll have the perfect answer for you. If they sound scattered or inefficient, then deputize one of your more control freaky friends to send you down the aisle that day, but make sure your officiant tells you exactly how the day is going to run.

And keep this in mind too (it's very comforting). No one has any idea what's really supposed to happen; they dont' know which side is the 'brides' (even more fun when there are two or zero of them....), they don't know who comes out when (since there are so many modern variations on that) or what music you've picked to start at what point. At the end of the ceremony, you'll kiss, they'll clap, the music will start and you'll be married.

Since so many of the ceremonies I officiate are destination weddings, most do not have a rehearsal.

I do recommend a rehearsal if there are more in the wedding party than MOH & Best Man, but I don't need to be there.

As long as the wedding party can get down the aisle to me and stand in the correct spots, I can take it from there.

I would not REFUSE to do a rehearsal, but I do charge extra for one.

Ok thank you Celia for your very detailed comment...and thanks to everyone else as well. That all helps me understand why he said no rehearsal. I am getting married at a place that is specifically for weddings/events so I take it the coordinators know exactly what to do. Thanks again!!