Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

N
Savvy April 2023

Rehearsal Dinner, who to invite?

Nicole, on December 13, 2022 at 2:57 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 22
Saved
Reply
So as of now, our rehearsal dinner is 57 people: which it includes: 8 grandparents (both sides) 5 parents ( my parents, his parents and step parent) the 18 bridesmaids & groomsmen, the 4 significant others to them, the 4 ushers & 1 significant other, the 1 reader & his significant other, (the other reader is a bridesmaid), the 2 gift bringers (Catholic wedding), the 2 ring bearers & their family( 5) , and then the priest ( but he won’t come).


My fiancé and I want to cut it down even more. We are wondering is it rude to not invite the grandparents since they are all extremely not well health wise & we feel like it’s a lot on them to go all the different spots. Just fyi: the grandparents won’t have to walk down the aisle. They have to sit in their pew and that’s it.
Or do we stick with 57 people? Since you can’t cut anyone else beside them since everyone else is doing something during the ceremony.

22 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on December 28, 2022 at 10:38 AM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    If the grandparents aren't actually involved in the ceremony then I don't think there is any reason to invite them to the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner.
    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you so much for your quick response! My FH is worried about how tired they will be. I honestly agree with you
    • Reply
  • Bird
    Super June 2021
    Bird ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    You can consider eliminating the ring bearers and their families. Many of the rehearsals Ive been to including my own did not include them. I know they technically walk down the aisle but someone can just be standing there with them the day of the ceremony and tell them when and where to walk.



    I would also eliminate grandparents. You could also consider eliminating the ushers and gift bringers although I’m not really sure the job of gift bringers so maybe you will need them there. The officiant might say something like “and now the gifts” or whatever and that is their signal so maybe they don’t really need to practice.

    Good luck!!!
    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you. The gift bringers and the ring bearers do need to be there since they have to know the cues and how to do their specific role since they all have never done it before and it’s required by the church for them to be there. I do agree with you about the grandparents. I really greatly appreciate your advice though! It means a lot that you would take your time and write this!
    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Also, forgot to mention, I didn’t even think about the ushers not needing to be there. They are not going to be doing anything either since they are just escorting people to their seats on the day
    • Reply
  • Caryn
    Devoted November 2023
    Caryn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    This may be a controversial take, but I don't know if you have to invite everyone who attends the rehearsal to the rehearsal dinner. I'm thinking specifically of the ringbearers and gift bringers and their families. That's a lot of people -- many people have weddings with fewer than 57 people.

    I would definitely think you can trim the grandparents and ushers. Good luck!

    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you, I will definitely discuss with my FH about the grandparents & ushers. The gift bringers are immediate family so I can’t really not invite them. I agree that it is a lot of people, that is why I would cut down where I can. I do know that my FH mom won’t let just invite people to the rehearsal and not the rehearsal dinner. So that’s not really an option for us. But if we do knock out the grandparents and ushers on the guest list then that knocks the guest list down to 43. Which is much better and smaller so I’ll have to discuss with the Fiancé and the MOG to see if they are okay with doing that.
    • Reply
  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    If you/ your fiancé/ MOG want to have the grandparents at the dinner, you could just have them meet you wherever the dinner will be. Otherwise, I think it would be fine to just cut them from the list if they aren't part of the rehearsal. If your ushers aren't going to be doing anything at the rehearsal either, you could probably cut them too.

    I would for sure invite anyone who is actually participating in the rehearsal to the dinner though. We had a Catholic wedding too, and the rehearsal was a lot more involved than it was for non-religious wedding rehearsals I've been to/ heard about.

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    The rehearsal dinner is meant to thank everyone for attending the rehearsal and their significant others. You do need to invite the ring bearers and etc. The grandparents do not need to be invited, if they aren’t needed in the rehearsal.

    Of note, this is why we talk about large bridal parties being so expensive for the couple getting married. Costs do add up!

    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you for your input. Ummm what do you mean of note this is why we talked about large bridal parties being so expensive?? It was my FH & I decision to have large bridal parties bc we have a lot of family and close friends that we wanted to honor and celebrate them being apart of our wedding. Thank you for the grandparent input. We have to discuss with the MOG about what she wants.
    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah, we really need to sit down and look at the list and decide. I spoke with the Catholic Church and they said the ushers and house party don’t have to be at the rehearsal but they do have to be at the church 45 mins prior to the wedding time. I appreciate your input and yeah it does take a lot more and it is more involved. Thank you so much for all your input
    • Reply
  • Connie
    Dedicated September 2023
    Connie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    If you really want to cut it down you can just limit it to family for rehearsal dinner but then do like a night out with your wedding party
    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    That’s an interesting idea!! Thank you so much! I value and appreciate your input!
    • Reply
  • Connie
    Dedicated September 2023
    Connie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    You’re welcome! You’re most likely going to continue the night anyways with your 22 members in your wedding party. I don’t think they would mind either if you decide to split it where a formal dinner is with family+ring bearers and their families. Then after formal dinner meet up with your wedding party maybe even get a party bus and cover a round of drinks. That way you with your wedding party can also let loose without all your family right there Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • O
    Just Said Yes October 2023
    Olivia ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Honestly as another person having a Catholic Wedding, you won't be rude if you ask for the grandparents to not go to the rehearsal dinner, unless they are involved with the ceremony. As for Ushers, if they have not been ushers before, I would have them come to the rehearsal, but they are not necessarily needed. So long as you are up front with their roll at the beginning of the ceremony, things will be ok.

    Another thing, you don't actually have to have a rehearsal dinner. There is no rule or code that is needed to be followed that states you have to have one. You could do a quite dinner of two, or just your wedding party, for the final day of just you two and those who agreed to stand with you.

    Congratulations Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Just a note to other readers of the board. Not a comment on your particular group.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Agree with this. Flower girls and ring bearers and everyone participating in the ceremony, along with their partners are invited. Plus ones for unattached singles are not invited. Unless grandparents are participating in the ceremony, they are optional at the dinner.
    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you so much. We have decided to let them all go since none of the reader, ring bearers, gift bringers and ushers have ever done a wedding before and the church said they should all be there to learn and understand their roles. So it’s even bigger but we spoke with the MOG and she said it is fine with her. Thank you for your input
    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah I would do that but my FH mother wants to throw us a rehearsal dinner
    • Reply
  • N
    Savvy April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you for your input. And I appreciate the time and effort you took to write this. I totally agree with you on the fact that we don’t need to but the MOG already paid a non refundable down deposit so now we are stuck haha which is fine. It will be a great night no matter what. We will be with everyone that we love and we get to cherish them so much. Thank you. The mom of the groom wants the grandparents. So we will do everyone. Thank you for your side since you are having a Catholic wedding.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

What to Wear to a Rehearsal Dinner as a Guest of the Happy Couple
Wedding Guests What to Wear to a Rehearsal Dinner as a Guest of the Happy... Stuck on what to wear to an upcoming wedding rehearsal? Read this guide for...
Here's Exactly When to Mail Your Wedding Invitations
Invitations & Stationery Here's Exactly When to Mail Your Wedding Invitations Ready to reach for those stamps and envelopes? Follow this wedding invitation...
Who Should You Invite to the Bachelorette Party?
Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties Who Should You Invite to the Bachelorette Party? As you compile the bachelorette party guest list, it’s normal to have questions...
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics