Rehearsal Dinner (where should you draw the line?)

Everyone was out of town for our wedding too. We just had our immediate families and the wedding party. Their dates weren't coming into town until the next day.

80% of our guests are OOT so it would be like a second wedding if we had them all at the rehearsal dinner lol. Your OOT guests will not expect to be invited.

Neither of our family is involved in the standing up at the wedding so we will do a simple easy rehearsal and then dinner with just the bridal party and +1s.

Everyone is traveling for our wedding so we're inviting everyone to the rehearsal dinner. That being said we only have about 50 total guests so it isn't that many. I would just do whatever you feel comfortable with. Most weddings I have been to the OOT guests have been invited and I think its a nice gesture, but I don't think that anyone will hold it against you if you keep the guest list smaller.

I was torn on this too. Ultimately the decision was made by my FMIL, which is fine, to do just wedding party, plus ones, parents, grandparents, and the officiant and his wife. We're just doing dinner at a local restaurant as a large party, so no room rental was required, and we're all covering our own beers, etc. If we added OOT guests, 20 of them were just my dad's side, and that was way too much (for FMIL and me!)

Relax, Soon to be Mrs. C. These rehearsal dinners can become so overblown. If the groom's family is itching to pay for everyone and their mother, fine (I can't even tell you how ridiculous my RD was -- his family was proving a point, and they did it by inviting everyone who drove more than 40 miles to attend the wedding, and they picked the most ridiculously expensive restaurant in a ridiculously expensive area). I'm a huge advocate of fast and cheap on RDs. If it's your credit card they're going to swipe at the end of the night, it's your guest list. Members of the bridal party, significant others, and parents (okay, maybe grandparents). Don't let it get out of hand. OOT guests should be washing their hair, ironing their clothes for the next day, and pondering the charge if they actually open the mini-bar.

We had an informal happy hour the night before. I cost just under $2000 including tips, which admittedly is expensive, but truthfully, I had just as much fun at the pre-party the night before (65 out of 85 people were there). We provided a relatively elaborate spread of appetizers and snacks (think shrimp cocktail, hummus, pita and veggies, chicken quesadillas...you get the idea) and had a cash bar. Everyone had a ball, and the party went way longer than we anticipated. In some ways, it was more fun than the wedding itself. We got to enjoy ourselves without all the stress and anxiety of the actual wedding. It can certainly be done for less money. We had the party at a local irish pub which had a private room downstairs. Everyone raved about it.

LOL@ Centerpiece, I agree OOT guests, should use that time to rest/settle in and prepare themselves. I'm only having BP (and SOs) and our immediate family. It will be a laid back dinner that will give us a chance to thank everyone and enjoy each other.