Rehearsal Dinner no no?

Everyone keeps commenting that we should do it ourselves or have pizzas delivered. Please understand that we have NOWHERE to host 27 people. No friends house, family's house, venue, nothing. So if it were just as easy as getting pizzas or making dinner I would do that.

And thanks Kimber for that idea - I will look into it. Still with 27 people it would be well over $300.

I understand your dilemma with cost, room, etc... but I'm in agreeance with most people that you should pay for the rehearsal dinner.

Does your church/venue have a kitchen/dining area that would allow you to bring your own food? Perhaps you could provide small apps and dishes that serve plenty of people but are easy on the wallet (smokies, spaghetti, mostacioli, dinner rolls, salad, dollar sandwiches, chips, etc...)

Rehearsal dinner was probably the hardest thing for me to budget in because i kept feeling like we shouldnt be spending a lot on it. But luckily i had the oppurtunity to work overtime at my job and saved up to have one. I know its hard crunching numbers and saving money.

Can i suggest maybe a All you can eat buffet place? My FSIL had hers at Old Country Buffet - we had a private room, it was cheaper and low key and very nice

Good luck!!!

Our ceremony and reception is being held at a dinner theater, that have shows going on in all rooms the night of our rehearsal so we have a very limited time frame to be there.

Obviously my fiance and I are doing everything we can to budget this in, but it might not turn out to be a reality.

I'm sure this is really frustrating for you Britnee.

IMO if it's not possible for you to work it in your budget or save up money to add it to your budget, my advice to you is to make sure that the people you are inviting to the RD are very well informed that they will be paying for their own meal, and let them know that it's not required for them to attend.

I'm sure that the people you've chosen to attend are close friends/family of yours that love and care about you and would understand. If it were my sister going through this I wouldn't be miffed, I would be understanding.

Thanks Kimmi,

It is super frustrating. And it's not like I don't want to give my wedding party something awesome and memorable and to thank them from the bottom of my heart for everything they are doing for us. It's honestly just not something I think we can do.

And of course if we had to have a dinner where we would not be paying I would most certainly inform everyone. And like you said I can imagine everyone would understand and most likely stay and enjoy the evening with us.

I appreciate that feedback - makes me not feel like a huge jerk for not having money for everything. I know everyone on here is just giving their honest opinions, and I understand where people are coming from. It's also just hard to hear that no one in the world would ever understand this situation.

How about at the pizza shop? Our pizza shops hosts bday parties all the time and they are super reasonable. We have church halls you can get for like $50. There has to be some option. Ask around..I'm sure you can come up with something-if not I'd contribute to their dinner to whereever you go at least.

Well maybe if it doesnt work out, after the wedding if you can save some money, take them all out then? im sure they will all understand even if you can't do anything at all.

Sadly, it is your twos day and YOU TWO have to pay for everything! I say do what you want. If you noticed guests had no issue paying for themselves then cool. You stated you had no issue with paying for your meal, then do it.

Agree with Joanna, I think there are places you can go for a pretty low price. Community or rec centers have indoor rooms and shelters you can rent and bring whatever you want. If you have hotels blocked, see if they have a lounge space or meeting room you can use. Some hotels charge up the wazoo for that but others don't, or it's minimal.

Maybe a friend or family member lives in an apartment/condo building with a rec room you could reserve? YMCA? Pizza or sub shop?

I would look into it a little more before you give up, I'm sure you could find something. Good luck~

I feel like you could go to a pizza place for less then $10 a person.

I do think that there are probably more options out there then you are exploring. Maybe take a few days, then come back to the situation- I think you will find right now you are in a "nothing is going to work" mindset, but in the future you may be able to see a solution that will work.

Even if you don't do a dinner you could have cookies/punch available while the rehearsal is going on. It wouldn't take much extra time so hopefully you could still do it in the limited time frame you have available. Another option would be doing a lunch before hand, instead of something after. Not only is lunch generally cheaper, but restaurants may be slower and more willing to work with you, and you may be able to find time at your venue.

I think it's okay. You are already buying everyone dinner/food the following day! Just make sure you spread the word so people know and go to an informal place.

Also, keep the guest list short. It might look rude to the "important" guests if you invite too many people, like you couldn't pay for them because you wanted more people to come, making it more expensive.

I don't think we will even have a RD. Our wedding is very informal, and we are not having any of the other events leading up to it either (no showers, bach parties, etc). We are only have 1 MOH (no BMs) and 1 best man (no groomsman) who are free to wear whatever they want. All we want them to do is a speech.

How about a cheap chinese restaurant then? A lot of them have separate party rooms.

Yes 27 is a ton for an RD..I guess there is no sense in going broke over one meal..but if you do have them pay pick a place that is pretty low cost.

My AMAZING FMIL is having her sister in law (whose a caterer) do all the food and they're paying for it. Granted its going to be a casual back yard kind of thing, but still, i would never expect my wedding party / family to pay for anything. Its your way of thanking them for being a part of your wedding. And since they've already paid so much for clothing and such, it wouldnt be right to ask them to pay for rehearsal as well

Well hmmm.. if you can't do it at home, I agree with everyone else! Rent a park pavillion?

We are having ours at a diner. They have a separate room, and we can pick whatever items we want on the menu. We are going to have sandwiches, breakfast, and then about 10 different special dinners they can choose from. Everything on the menu will be $10 or less. Good luck!

Have you thought about having a "superbowl style" menu with a bunch of finger foods - six foot long sandwiches, buffalo wings (you can get a large bag from Costco/BJ's for like $12) pigs n blankets, devil eggs, etc. a salad or two that you can make yourself, a fruit and cookie platter and that's it. A person can get full from eating a bunch of finger foods and you won't be paying alot of money for it.

We're doing a buffet style, which works with our theme, so it is easier on the budget but we're paying for it ourselves. I wouldn't want people to pay out of their own pockets. Especially the vendors (photographer, videographer, dj). It'll temp them not to eat, which could have a impact down the road.

no no for me

You said "we knew that providing food for over 20 people without being able to make it ourselves is just an expensive task."

You also said you might just cut it all togethr. Please please pleaese do not do this. This is the epitomy of rude. Cut out something else if you have to. Maybe you can do your own hair and make up the day of if you are hiring someone.

Understand that these people will be at the RD because fo you and your FH. Asking them to pay is beyond rude and cutting it out all together is even more rude!

I would be extremely offended and frankly, would not provide you with a wedding gift in return.

So it may come down to not paying our rent or our photographer, or having a dinner for 28 people. You would be that offended if your good friend explained to you her situation and told you that she would not be able to afford it? Wow. I guess I just know that I am doing everything that I can to make sure we can do something...but I also know that the people in my wedding party are great family and friends and would never write me off for this as it seems you would.

Thank God for amazing people in my life, at least I have that to be thankful for!

Your choices are rent, photographer or RD? I find that very hard to believe.

Because they are amazing people is the very reason you should make this happen.

My 2 cents

Also, you try to justify this by saying you had to pay at an RD and were fine with it. Just because someone else was rude doesn't mean you should be too.

You asked for thoughts but all you really want to hear is "sure, go ahead and ask everyone to pay even though they are already helping with your day or are coming out of town, etc...sure, go ahead"