Rehearsal dinner - invite bridal party significant others?

The SOs don't have to be at the rehearsal itself if you/they don't want but they should be at the dinner. That is of course assuming it doesn't cause a big inconvenience for the SOs to come separately or anything like that. We had a few additional people meet up with us at the pub where we had dinner rather than coming for the rehearsal. Luckily it worked out well because they were right down the street from each other so if anyone had wanted to come together they could have just gone to the pub early and had a couple pints until we got there.

I also believe that the officiant and his/her SO should be invited as well.

Yes. They have to be invited. Presumably, they are your nearest and dearest and you thank them for their time, money, stress and emotion by having a little get-together. It can be very simple; just the BP, SO's, parents and siblings for pizza and beer, but you should show appreciation for them. And their SO's.

I'd also skip it if my SO wasn't invited. Most rehearsals are totally unnecessary anyway. If you're going to make them "practice" walking and standing, you at least provide a little dinner.

Or skip the whole thing.

We are including SO's at ours too

Def! And let them know they are invited. It was super awkward when I had to ask my friend in the last wedding I was in. She just assumed I knew that the invitation would of course include my FH and actually made fun of me for having to ask lol. 100% invite them.

I've been in 3 weddings the last two years and SO have never been invited to the rehearsal dinner. For ours, I'll extend it to SO though.

Absolutely invite. It would be rude not to. They don't have to attend the rehearsal itself but can attend the dinner.

Yes invite the SOs. If they decide not to come that is their choice.

If they are included in the Wedding they should be included in the RD.

This shouldn't even be a question. Of course the SOs of anyone involved in the rehearsal get invited to the RD.

Jacqui76: One of my bridesmaids has a history of dating guys for very short periods of times. Part of me would feel bad if he was sitting alone at the wedding because he didn't know anyone. I'm not requiring the bridesmaids to attend or do anything (and they probably won't, which is totally fine). I'm paying to have their hair done for the wedding and they are choosing their own dresses (I'm just requesting they be in a certain color palette - all shades of blue for example, although the color isn't final yet).

We're having a smaller guest list where everyone would know each other except him. We're also paying for the wedding ourselves and don't want to start out marriage with a load of debt. Another troublesome aspect for me is that if my bridesmaid gets a "plus one" (even if I'm not saying, "and guest" on the invite), then the barrage of "well then why don't I get one?!" will be even stronger - I've had to politely try to rein in mothers and friends already inviting themselves and others :-/

Samantha, that's a lot of excuses for not being a good friend.

It's nice how you judged your friend you deemed important enough to you to support you at your wedding at the beginning though. That was classy.

M: If it were up to me, I wouldn't have any bridesmaids because it's true, I don't have any close girlfriends. My FH wants three groomsmen and really doesn't want it to be lopsided, so I'm doing the best compromising I can.

ETA: At this point (and at many times before) I would rather elope - although FH wants a proper wedding. Either way, I'll anger a large group of people so might as well not be around anyone when we get married.

Lopsided BPs aren't the end of the world.

Samantha -- which is it? Do you have to know a plus one for 30 days before he's allowed to your wedding, or do you really think a part of you would be lamenting the fact that a plus one didn't know anyone at your wedding, or does paying for your BMs' hair constitute enough of an expense on their accounts, or is it that you're paying for the wedding yourselves, or is it that you don't want to start out your marriage with a load of debt, or is the last excuse: if a BM gets plus one, you'll be barraged with "Why can't I have one?" requests?

1. Your BM deserves an escort -- whether you've known him/her for 5 days, 29 days, or 31 days. It's not about you and random cut-off dates. It's about allowing your BM to finally enjoy the reception with her current love interest...whoever he/she may be.

2. I can almost guarantee that your mind will not wander to the plus one who's waiting to enjoy the reception with his/her girlfriend, the BM. People do this all the time. People meet each other at weddings. He will not be lonely or lost. He'll most likely be an adult who will be just fine.

3. I don't know what paying for their make-up has to do with singling out one BM and saying "No plus one because I don't know him." By the way, if you want their make-up done, you should be paying for it.

4. Join the club. Plenty of women are paying for their weddings themselves -- and they're still allowing plus ones for their honor attendants.

5. If paying for a plus one would cause your marriage to begin with a load of debt, I'd like to know what tropical island with paid accommodations you're flying everyone to. One person does not cause a load of debt to be incurred at a conventional wedding.

6. Paying for plus ones does not automatically open the door to "What about me?" (and if you've been barraged with those requests, then that should tell you have your honor attendants feel about the subject). These are honor attendants. They are in a class of their own, and you can easily explain to that to the "What about me?" group.

Well it'd be more rude of me to de-bridesmaid everyone, so I'm really screwed either way I guess.

And Centerpiece: it's everything. I don't appreciate the rude ad nauseum comments, but thanks for the condescension.

I'm glad that I wasn't wrong in thinking they should be invited. I felt like I should especially since at least 4 of our bridal party is coming from out of state.

One guest at a RD does not 'a load of debt' make.

Bottom line? Once you have a BP, you treat them right.

Centerpiece and m are both exactly right. You have a lot of excuses but none of them are valid ones for being rude to your bridal party.

And yes, it would be rude to "de-bridesmaid" someone, especially just so you don't have to give them a plus one.

Sorry Kathryn, about the highjacking. I hope whatever decision you make, everything turns out great

Anyone who calls someone who types out such beautifully thought out, eloquent comments like CP as rude and condescending is infuriating. She asked you valid questions, but eh, who gives a f*ck, right? She addressed all your issues, you know.

If they're not even your friends, you shouldn't be worried about ending your friendship by removing the bridal party.