Rehearsal dinner evites?

STAHP!

@HisBrideToBe Even is it's inexpensive the bride and groom are suppose to pay for the meal. I was able to host $30 people with tax and tip included for a little less than $300. You should really re-consider this. But if you are dead set on doing it. At least keep it below $20 per person so people won't have to pay much.

@HisBrideToBe: I don't think @Julia T was suggesting letting your guests pay, I think she's suggesting inexpensive options for YOU to pay.

I know it comes as a shock to see a lot of people disagree with you. I'm sorry if it sounds like people are judging you. Truth is, we're trying to be helpful. The custom in most places seems to be that the guests don't pay for their meal at a rehearsal dinner, and here are brides from all over the US and other parts of the world saying the same thing. People are just trying to explain this and come up with inexpensive ways to host the rehearsal dinner. Unfortunately if you do ask your guests to pay for their meals, they'll probably judge you - and you probably won't find out, because (hopefully) they'll be polite enough not to say anything to your face.

Julia was providing low-cost options for you, not your guests.

And everything VC said.

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@VC That's exactly what I was doing. I didn't want to tell her it was a bad idea without offering other options.

First, you don't really need an invitation. We just told our wedding party over text when to show up at the venue, and made plans for dinner when we were done there.

Second, just get pizza or something easy and PAY FOR IT. Pizza is cheap and everyone likes it. Done. That's what we did.

If you really can't afford pizza, then don't have a rehearsal dinner. I really don't see how your venue can REQUIRE you to have a rehearsal. If you, your FH, and the officiant show up are they really going to say that you can't get married because your BP isn't there? What if someone just CAN'T make it? Where are you getting married?

You and your FH are being incredibly rude to people who are supposed to matter the most.

https://www.theknot.com/content/mandatory-wedding-rehearsal-dinner

http://www.herecomestheguide.com/wedding-party-ideas/detail/rehearsal-dinner-etiquette/

http://apracticalwedding.com/2013/10/how-to-plan-rehearsal-dinner/

And surprisingly, I agree with weddingbee here:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/rehearsal-dinnertight-budgetasking-wedding-party-to-pay-for-their-guests/

ETA

I would suggest you do something! Little Ceasar's has 5.00 pizza I dont know how many people you have in your wedding party but 4 pizza a few 2 liters of soda and boom done for about 25.00. People would appreciate that more then paying for themselves when that dinner is usually take care by the bride and groom or their families. Or you can go to a local pizzaria and order some food and if they want to have some drinks they can get their own.

My parents are paying for my rehearsal and since they dont drink and dont believe in drinking they wont pay for any beer or wine only soda. Which I think is fine. If we have enough money to pay for drinks I will pay that portion but if we dont everyone can get their own if they feel the need to drink. I think that is fine but you need to feed people who are attending a event for you.

Your venue can't make you do shit. I doubt they'll care if you don't have a rehearsal.

Face it; no one wants to rehearse with you. They'll be late, it'll be boring, they won;t remember one thing the next day and someone will go missing.

If there isn't food and ideally alcohol, they'll be pissy about it, but they won't tell you; they'll tell each other. For years. Whenever they talk about your wedding.

But hey, why listen to us. We're telling you things you don't want to hear. Sure, do an evite; it's no ruder than expecting people to spend an evening minion-ing to you without feeding them.

About nobody wanting to rehearse - in my case, I was the only person who did NOT want to rehearse. Well, maybe two of my BMs didn't want to do it either. But DH, his parents, ALL of his groomsmen and two of my BMs were adamant about wanting to rehearse. I don't think the desire (or lack thereof) can be generalized to everyone.

But the expectation of having a meal - I'm fairly certain I could generalize about that one. People will be surprised if you don't pay for their meals. Hope you're able to find an inexpensive way to host it!

Please don't make your wedding party pay.

Suggestion - Do you have a slow cooker? Why not invite them to your place for chili, caesar salad and garlic toast afterwards?