Rehearsal Dinner and a Post Wedding Brunch?

I don't know if it's ridiculous (we are doing a rehearsal dinner and a brunch the next day) but if you don't want both, you should politely decline.

We are having a welcome dinner with all guests invited, but that is because we are having a destination wedding. We are also having a farewell brunch with all guests invited as well. We will literally be leaving for our honeymoon directly afterwards, so the title is apt.

I have heard of parents hosting a brunch the next day even with the bride and groom off on their honeymoon the night before. They are the hosts, so your attendance isn't 100% required.

Inviting out of town guests to the RD used to be more common. I don't see it done as much anymore. It is a nice thing, but definitely not required and I don't blame you for wanting to keep the RD small.

But - who is paying for it? If your FH's parents are paying, then they get to decide the guest list.

We're having welcome drinks after our rehearsal dinner for the out of town guests, to keep the rehearsal smaller. My Mom is also pushing for a day after brunch but I don't how necessary it is/ if many people would come (travel, hangovers lol). We may have a casual get together with those who are still in town.

I agree with Emily, if they're going to pay for it, may be best to go with their flow.

I agree with @Emily on the rehearsal - If they are paying they choose.

However, with regard to the brunch the next day - have your FH explain to them you are leaving that night for your honeymoon. There is nothing they can say that would make more sense than that. Even they say something about you needing to see the out of town guests again, I think that's just overkill.

ETA: my mom's family did something on their own the day after the wedding. DH and I left for our honeymoon early that morning and did not attend. I think it is rude for anyone to try to monopolize any of the newlyweds' time in the few days after the wedding.

Wow I am in the exact same boat except with my parents. I really do not think it's necessary to have a 50+ person rehearsal dinner. I want to chill out the night before my wedding with my bridal party and immediate family. They also insisted on the brunch. I love brunch, but I feel like a lot of people might be tired and skip it.

A lot of these are traditional! Our rehearsal dinner will be anyone included in the wedding/SO and then any of our family that is in town already. We are not having a brunch afterward. I thought about it and then this would be open to any guests that are OOT, but staying at your hotel block. This wouldn't JUST include family. Our hotel has a breakfast (guests have to pay for it), but we are going to offer people to have breakfast, if they wish, at a certain time. My family is going to be staying and going out to Niagara falls for the day, so I will get to spend time with them anyways. This breakfast option also gives us to say goodbye with guests that stayed at the hotel one last time. Besides you may want to leave that night for a honeymoon, but it's not a good idea. There is a lot going on! We are getting married Friday night and leaving Sunday morning.

Not sure who is paying for your wedding, but maybe you could ask FH family if they like the idea of a brunch the next day that they offer to 'host it' through the hotel.

My mother and father are paying for the entire because my FH parents refuse to help, because traditionally the brides parents pay, so this being said a large rehearsal dinner and a after wedding brunch are just added costs and something that I don't even want

My mother asked that i try to include the out of town guests for the rehearsal. With all of them though it makes the list 70 people which is half the guest list! I dont think its rude to exclude them, but it is nice to include them since they come from out of town.

We will be having a sunday brunch with anyone who wishes to attend, but everyone will be paying for themselves!

If they are in town, that's a lot. We're doing a happy hour the night before, to include our wedding party (which we're paying for a few rounds for them, so its our rehearsal dinner) and out OOT guests, but we're not paying.

After wedding brunch will be for OOT guests only. Not hosted

We had a rehearsal dinner with all OOT guests invited. If people are flying in from another state or driving more than two hours, I think it's appropriate to welcome them, but that's just me. I don't think it's "rude" to not do it; it's a nice gesture to do it though and you do get to see them a bit more.

Personally I am having more of a welcome dinner than a rehearsal dinner so all of my guests will be there, but large gatherings aren't for everyone and if they aren't paying they don't really get a say. Your parents are hosting, so its actually up to them. Have your FI run interference on this one and don't stress it.

If your fiancé's parents are INSISTING on both of these parties than THEY pay. End of story. Otherwise whatever you and your parents decide on is what happens. Traditionally speaking, the grooms parents "host" the rehearsal dinner, not sure on the brunch though.

If your parents are paying for everything Rehearsal Dinner included, then it's up to them. I understand inviting the OOT guests because it's another way to say thank you, but depending on how many there are it can be too much. (In my case, 2/3 of the guest list is OOT, it would be like having another reception! Too much $&dollar

If you don't want brunch then politely decline. If you want to compromise I'd say have the rehearsal dinner if cost allows for it but skip the brunch. I've always heard you do invite immediate family to the RD, ex: brothers/sisters and their families.

Also, your FILs can still have brunch without you. My parents are hosting all relatives/OOT guests the following Sunday morning for a big brunch. But we won't be there

Her RD idea seems pretty traditional and standard but If you don't want that then speak up! Also, I would nix the next day brunch. We were so tired and hungover we never would have made brunch the next day lol

I have honestly thought it was just the wedding party that went to the rehearsal dinner. If they aren't paying for either then they really have no say what you do. They're being rude for trying to push you towards it.

We had a Welcome Party the night before with pub food (wings, quesadillas, etc) and cash bar. 60 out of 90 of our guests attended. Everyone raved about what a good idea it was. It was very casual and people who hadn't seen each other in a long time got to reconnect. I also got to introduce a lot of my friends to my family and DH's family finally got to meet mine. It was awesome. I highly recommend it. The hotel we stayed at provided an extensive free breakfast, so people just came down and ate the next day at their leisure. It was also really nice and I was able to properly say good-bye to all my guests.

Our rehersal dinner was our bridal party and their SO's and all of DH's siblings and their families. DH's mom paid (She cooked the meal) So it was her decision.

As for the brunch the next day, we had to clean the facility so we could've but we wanted to get on the road for our mini moon. We grabbed fast food and hit the road. But if we were leaving the night of the wedding for our honeymoon (I strongly suggest you wait until the next day though. Get a hotel, go relax with you hubs for a bit) We wouldn't have had brunch no matter who wanted us to.

We are having a rehearsal dinner with the wedding party and immediate family only. The hotel I blocked for the guests and booked for ourselves for the wedding night has free breakfast and we encouraged our guests to come down for breakfast and wish fairwell to the bride and groom before we head off to the airport.