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Master May 2020

Rehearsal dinner advice

Kari, on October 25, 2019 at 11:22 AM Posted in Parties and Events 1 8

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My FH and I are paying for the majority of our wedding, with my mom chipping in a good chunk of money, and my FH's parents chipping in some as well. Our wedding is about 60-80 guests total, so on the smaller side. My FMIL asked to be able to have 11 guests (but she included herself and my FH's dad and sister in that total, so really only asking for 8 non-immediate family members). I will only have four relatives (including my mom). All the other guests are our friends.

We are spending a lot more than we expected to on our wedding and my FH's parents contribution will more than cover the cost of them and their guests. However both our our parents had pretty simple informal weddings, and I don't think they are super familiar with the idea of a rehearsal dinner. I am nervous about this expense and really don't want to add it on to the cost of our wedding. I know traditionally this is paid for by the groom's parents but since my FH's parents are chipping in for our wedding I don't know if they are planning to pay for this as well and I don't feel comfortable asking. Our rehearsal dinner would likely be around 20-24 people (assuming all the people included in the wedding can bring their significant others, which feels appropriate to me). We did not have an engagement party and I am not having a bridal shower, so the amount of extra parties (and gifts) associated with our wedding is minimal.

Our wedding is still 7 months away, but we are carefully saving and paying for bills now so it would be helpful to know if we'll need to anticipate saving more to pay for this dinner. I know practicing the ceremony is necessary, but the entire dinner after feels like a formality and unnecessary expense. I'd rather invest that extra $1,000 or so into things that will actually make our wedding day more beautiful and enjoyable, or put it towards our honeymoon (I don't even think we will be able to afford one), not on dinner the night before.

Any advice?

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Latest activity by earias, on October 25, 2019 at 4:15 PM

Devoted April 2020
Sabrina · on October 25, 2019 at 11:33 AM
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The rehearsal dinner doesn't need to be anything too formal - homemade dinner, catered in dinner from a restaurant or even pizza. As long as your bridal party is fed after the rehearsal is all that is necessary.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on October 25, 2019 at 11:34 AM
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Rehearsing isn’t a necessity. If you choose to have a rehearsal, you absolutely should host a meal afterwards. It doesn’t have to cost $1,000. Pizza for 20-24 would only be a couple hundred dollars.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on October 25, 2019 at 11:38 AM
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If you don't have a rehearsal, you don't need a rehearsal dinner! And if you do want a rehearsal, you can do something casual like pizza & soda at someone's house after. It doesn't have to be fancy.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on October 25, 2019 at 11:50 AM
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I agree with everyone else. If you have to have a rehearsal but if you do you need to host something. Just do something easy like pizza in the backyard.
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on October 25, 2019 at 11:55 AM
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We didn’t have a rehearsal so now rehearsal dinner, but when I married exH we just had a backyard BBQ for our rehearsal dinner- burgers, hot dogs, chips, beer and wine. You can definitely keep it simple.
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Expert October 2019
Jess · on October 25, 2019 at 12:01 PM
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We did a Costco pizza rehearsal dinner for 16 people for $40- $50 depends on how formal you want it but it doesn’t need to be anywhere near $1000
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Master May 2020
Kari · on October 25, 2019 at 1:17 PM
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One of the challenges is that we don't have space to host 20+ people. If we have good weather we can easily have that many people in our backyard but our house itself is really small and we can have maybe a dozen inside before it starts feeling super cramped. We're also staying at our venue the night before our wedding (they have an on-site AirBnB that we have access to) and will be having guests stay at our house. If we have our rehearsal dinner at the venue, they reserve the right to cater; if we have it at our house it will be up to our guests staying there to clean up so I don't want anything too messy. I like the idea of doing a less expensive dinner, but don't think I want a heavy meal the night before our wedding and am worried I won't eat enough if we serve pizza and burgers. I could my FH about asking some friends to host - we have a couple friends who LOVE hosting big dinner parties and could accommodate our group as a gift to us.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on October 25, 2019 at 4:15 PM
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You could check around at local casual restaurants near your venue to see if they have a private room or space for your party. That's what we did. We got married in location that was about 2 hours away from us and everyone stayed at the same hotel for the weekend. I scouted the area for a casual restaurant and found a quaint BBQ joint within walking distance. It was small enough that they let us have exclusive use of the place for our dinner (25 guests total). You could do this at a pizza, burger, or BBQ place and still save money. I think I paid about $600 for a lot of BBQ options, sides, and alcohol for everyone.
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Rehearsal dinner advice

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