regretting save the dates

We are sending Save the Dates, but just to our families, and out of town friends we have known since childhood. Our friends here/coworkers we will wait on until invitations. But because we have friends and family that live 10+ hours away (some are even international), we are still sending them out.

It is definitely something to consider though!

I'm like Kayla, if I was on the fence about them then I didn't send them a STD. I sent it only to family and very close friends.

All of FH's family lives out of state so yea they definitely needed them.

@Staci, my guest list is still fine the way it is, I just have regret about some people, like family I'm not that close to that could potentially make things awkward with other family members. I just felt obligated to invite them. I just wish I would have said NO to inviting them. If I had not already sent out the save the dates to them, I wouldn't be inviting them. But I'm stuck with it now. But it will be OK!

We did them, and only sent them to the people we really wanted there, like friends and family, and especially those who live out of town. Those who we were on the fence about, if they made the final guest list cuts, got invitations with everyone else.

But you're right, I should probably edit my post to say "think long and hard before sending them" instead of just don't send them at all.

This. 100% this. I ended up not inviting 3 people who I sent STDs to due to family drama. It just makes it into a huge clusterfuck.

Originally we weren't going to send them but decided that we will. I want to make sure out of state people have enough time to book travel. We won't send them to anyone we are on the fence about inviting.

But honestly I don't think it is just save the dates that cause drama with changing invite lists. Even if you skip the stds and spread the date by word of mouth to out of town guests, friends and family etc they should still be invited. Guest lists should be pretty final by the time std should go out regardless of if you are sending stds. Guests need time to book travel, take off work, etc. and it is rude to let someone know to prepare for the wedding via word of mouth or std then to not actually invite them.

We only did save the dates because the vast majority of our guests (80%+ I'd say) were from out of town.. .including my husband and I.

We didn't have an engagement photoshoot, though. So ours did not include pictures.

I have gotten save the dates for every wedding we we went to this year. We went to three wedding in the span of a month. Because we got save the dates for them when knew when to plan what and what money we had to set aside for weddings. If we didn't get save the dates we would have gone to one so I think they are very necessary especially if your wedding is during "wedding season"

I am sooooo glad I did not do them. Even over the course of a few months, things can change, and relationships can change. I was certainly not willing to commit to a guest list so early on. Plus, even without them, I have had a great response as to who is coming to my wedding. I should note however, that I did send my invitations out a bit early. The RSVP due date was 9/20/14 even though my wedding is 11/8/14. I did this so that the out of town people still had time to book a flight/hotel.

Good advice! I'm only sending them to family and out-of-towners that we know for sure that we want with us on our big day!

Wise advice.

Using STD instead of Save the Date is making this thread so much more interesting...

STDs in my opinion are a waste of money. They are not needed

I wanted to send out Save the Dates because basically all of my family will be coming from out of state. I had family asking me months ago what the date was and wanting to know ASAP so they could start planning. But we also made sure to only send Save the Dates to definite guests. Mostly immediate family and bridal party members. Anyone on the B list or that we're still unsure about inviting didn't get one.