jasmine
Dedicated October 2017

Regrets

jasmine, on June 25, 2017 at 8:55 PM Posted in Married Life 0 51
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Everyone says that weddings are hectic and something always goes wrong. I am fully prepared to accept that no matter how much I plan this will happen to me. I can handle the flowers not being perfect, or having to add in unexpected guests. However, I'd like to plan on not having any huge regrets.

My question to newlyweds is this. What is your biggest regret about your wedding. Did you forgo a tradition you wish you had done? Or did you care too much about something small and insignificant? Or maybe you had one too many glasses of champagne?

If you could give only one piece of wedding advice what would it be? How would you have avoided your biggest regret?

51 Comments

Latest activity by Amy, on January 8, 2021 at 2:45 AM
  • Alethea
    Devoted September 2017
    Alethea ·
    • Flag

    This is a great topic....ill be watching the comments as well

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  • FutureMrsD
    VIP June 2017
    FutureMrsD ·
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    I regretted using my DH's childhood pastor. He announced us by my maiden name and forgot the entire ring part. I was fuming, also because I got a videographer and I get to watch it unfold all over again. I'm hoping years down the road we will watch it and laugh. But at the end of the day we were married and it was an absolutely beautiful day!

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  • Linds
    Master March 2017
    Linds ·
    • Flag

    I let every little thing really get to me. The photographer asked me to wait to get dressed until the group got there, which meant we were running a few minutes later than I planned. I was angry during the first look, and a bear to deal with during family photos. Don't be like me.

    Also, we got married in our home city, not the city we currently live in - so we had to find a new place for our dog to go. She couldn't handle it at all, and we got a call the morning of the wedding telling us to pick her up. Please, consider the pets in your life and make sure they are taken care of. We should have had a trial run, but the boarder said it wasn't necessary - clearly we were all wrong!

    We were very lucky the hotel we stayed at was so awesome and let our pup stay in our suite with us after our real issues.

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  • JerseyGirl
    Master May 2017
    JerseyGirl ·
    • Flag

    We kept our wedding small (55 guests) and invited those that were closest to us. We had an inclusive venue so we got to pick out our cake and flowers but price was included and we didn't have to find the vendors. We also had a DOC included from the venue which made things a lot easier.

    I can honestly say we have no regrets- except for maybe too much food, which is a great problem to have. Would rather have too much than not enough.

    Keep things in perspective. My dad had a liver transplant a year and a half before the wedding. We were unsure about him being able to walk me down the aisle or do a first dance until morning off. (Thankfully he could do both!) Our 14 year old niece also started chemo three days before the wedding (she was diagnosed with cancer two weeks before the wedding). Thankfully she was released morning of and made it to the wedding.

    With all of that, you begin to realize that those other things are really insignificant. I honestly cannot tell you what our centerpieces looked like (haven't gotten our pro pics yet), what the uplighting looked like, etc. What I remember (besides marrying the love of my life) is the important people were there with us, we had great food, plenty of alcohol, a great DJ and tons of fun!

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  • Sarah
    Super June 2017
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    No regrets at all...due in large part due to making up my mind months in advance that the small stuff didn't matter. The only snafu was makeup making us late for pictures, but no biggie, we got fabulous makeup and all the important pictures. So many people commented both on how relaxed we were and that it was the best wedding they'd been to.

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  • Danielle
    VIP March 2017
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    I wish we had a video of the ceremony. Even if it wasn't great quality. I would love to watch it and be able to show it to our kids and grandkids one day.

    We had H's nice camera on a tripod and his aunt was supposed to press record but somehow it malfunctioned so that was a super bummer.

    I also regret not being more specific with my photographer the areas around the venue I wanted photos in. There was this back area with a wooden fence and lots of gorgeous trees...she took us back there but it felt like we only took a few photos in one spot and then went back to around the ceremony space. Those few pictures are my favorite and the sun setting in the background is SO pretty. The day was such a blur and I was just trying to follower her lead. But besides those I don't really love many more of our husband and wife shots. This totally isn't her fault it's my personal preference but I knew I loved that area for pictures and I should have told her that before hand so she knew.

    Last one - bringing my handkerchief down the aisle so I didn't totally ruin my makeup like I did lol.

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  • BreKMK
    Expert January 2017
    BreKMK ·
    • Flag

    I have just two things I wish I'd done differently. One was the scheduling of the HMU. It was just my mom and me having makeup (me) and hair (her) done, so I planned to get mine done first, then get dressed while my mom's hair was fixed. Unfortunately, the HMU took too much time with me; so by the time Mom was done, I was already dressed and she hadn't gotten to help with my veil and so forth. She was disappointed with that, so I wish I'd had the HMU artist come earlier.

    Second regret: photo list. I had sent my photographer a shot list of things I specifically wanted pictures of. Unfortunately, they didn't actually bring the list with them, and I hadn't brought a copy with me. So there were several details that never got photographed (like DH's ring, of all things).

    Both were disappointing, but neither was a major disaster!

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  • Teri
    VIP May 2017
    Teri ·
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    My biggest regret was not having a videographer for the ceremony. I also realized that I didn't get all the pictures that I wanted.

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  • MizzzCara
    Master June 2017
    MizzzCara ·
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    I will say this. I wanted my wedding to be a partayyyy. By the time dancing started, I was exhausted. It was a long day. The dj didn't play any of my requested music so I didn't really want to dance but at the same time, I didn't really go say anything to her because I was ready for bed. My husband actually took a nap in the back. Ha but anyway, I regret not telling her to play some different music.

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  • Bemyguest
    Master April 2017
    Bemyguest ·
    • Flag

    I regret not forcing my kid to come with us during cocktail hour because I only have one pic of the 3 of us as a family.

    I regret hiring our DJ. Not the company, I just wish we'd had the owner of the company instead of the guy we did have. I also regret not speaking up when I had concerns beforeand. But DH was so determined to spend as little as possible. Seriously, if the owner of the company was our DJ, it would have been perfect.

    Everything else went so perfectly though! I'm a huge planner so that helps a lot.

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  • LauraR
    VIP June 2017
    LauraR ·
    • Flag

    My biggest regret is that I didn't manage to speak with all the guests. I saw almost everyone by the time they left since most approached me before they left. But there were a few elderly guests that had to leave really early and I missed them while I was taking photos.

    I also took too long to get the cake cut. We attempted to sneak off for more photos while the guests were still eating but we took way longer than I intended. Maybe it wasn't as long as it seemed.

    I also think it would have been nice to get to the venue sooner. I got there at the time that the planner asked but I felt like I got to the venue and had to start HMU very quickly so I never truly settled in.

    The day really is a whirlwind! I'll be posting my BAM in the next few days!!

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  • MIadventure773
    Dedicated May 2017
    MIadventure773 ·
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    Not inviting more people / b listing. We had way more shrink than 25% we planned on and had like 7 no shows which was heartbreaking to me. All 7 ppl RSVPed yes and we actually confirmed them 2 weeks before the wedding bc we were suspicious.

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  • AnnieL
    VIP June 2017
    AnnieL ·
    • Flag

    Letting everything get to me. Seriously, it will all be fine. I'm sure I was a bitch to people during our rehearsal dinner and I forgot to just enjoy it. I was so concerned with going to enjoy my wedding that I think I was short to some people who wanted pics. I feel terrible. Also wish we had a slightly smaller wedding. We had about 90, but I feel like I didn't talk to everyone enough. We visited every table and thanked everyone but I wished I would have had actual conversations with more people.

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  • Colleen
    VIP June 2016
    Colleen ·
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    I regret not giving our dj full reign. We had originally planned on doing own music so I had a playlist. I should have let the dj do his thing. Also kind of wish we did more pics including another location.

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  • Robyn
    Super June 2017
    Robyn ·
    • Flag

    My DJ. Everything else went great!!!! But my DJ was not up to par. He didn't listen to the two main rules lol, if there is is no one dancing change the damn song and always follow the 1st rule. He also kept doing the table 29 joke when we only had 7 tables and no one got it.

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  • AnnieL
    VIP June 2017
    AnnieL ·
    • Flag

    I also kinda regret not doing a first look. H said he didn't want to do one but he was so anxious with everyone staring at him when I came down the aisle that he basically had no reaction. After the recessional he was like you look so beautiful! And that would have been nice to capture with photos. I did do one with my dad though and I don't know if I would have wanted to skip that. It was the most emotional part of the day for me.

    • Reply
  • AdventuresofRuth
    VIP October 2017
    AdventuresofRuth ·
    • Flag

    @windowschick - did someone cut the cake and no one took pieces or the cake was never cut and slices put onto plates for guests? Just wondering so I can consider this issue, thank you!

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  • Natalie
    VIP June 2017
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    If you are someone (like me) who struggled to make a decision and second guessed almost every decision you made with regards to the wedding then at the end of it all you are absolutely going to have regrets. However I know deep down, if I had of chosen something different (flowers, hair, dress) I'd likely regret that too.

    At the end of the day if you got married then that's really all that matters. You have to let go of the little stuff.

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  • MizzzCara
    Master June 2017
    MizzzCara ·
    • Flag

    I will also say to not let anyone invite people you don't want there. My in laws said certain people HAD to come even though they weren't offering to pay anything. I didn't want to cause issues so I said whatever. It turned out fine because we had a 100 person minimum and about 95 people came but some of their invited guests were a bit rude to me. I regret allowing them to invite these people. -_-

    • Reply
  • Kay
    Super March 2017
    Kay ·
    • Flag

    I regret letting my mom talk me into a church wedding and out of my first choice venue. I super respect her opinion, and I am genuinely happy with our wedding day. But I wish I had done the venue I loved, even for a bit more money, although then I would have been over budget.

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