Regrets

We were just married Saturday the 8th. We had a cute venue but it was up to us to ensure it was cleaned at the end of the night to the contract standard. My FMiL asked a woman and a man with whom she previously worked at a retail store to help out the day of the wedding. Well, the woman left after a couple of hours and the poor guy was there till 9 pm and we had already given her an envelope with the same amount of money we gave him! He worked his butt off. Long story short, we should have hired something like a professional cleaning team because we and my family ended up staying all night to clean it up. There I was emptying the bathroom trash in my wedding dress. Thinking about it still makes me cry in anger. Partly for trusting and partly for not being who I normally am and saying hell no, we are doing this right.

Also, not getting special photos with my closest friends and family. We did the customary ones but some friends traveled from far away and the time just went so fast that I didn't remember to get that phone out or call the photographer over for pictures. I really regret that. We did have a great ceremony and everyone gave us compliments on the wedding. But the cleanup and the pictures.....will haunt me forever. (boo hoo)

The time FLIES by. Remember that and have someone keep you on track of what you want to focus on.

No regrets here. Just remember to tip your vendors and with that said put money aside for tipping

There were a few things that went wrong at my wedding, including a massive tornado-like lightning storm right before start time at an all outdoor wedding. I had certain vendors who couldn't get along with each other and who steamrolled what I wanted... sassy family members, guests who showed up totally causal for black-tie optional. I just went with it, why fight? My parents were totally frazzled, my in-laws showed up unexpectedly while I got ready (instead of hanging out with my husband), guests started coming in the house where I was sitting before the ceremony, stressing me out.

All of that was FINE.

The wedding was magical and I just turned a blind eye to all the things which bothered me and let them go. It was the only way to get through such a stressful and special time!

In retrospect, I let my mom make a couple of demands and put her foot down on some things I should have fought for. If you want to choose your own photographer, do it. If you want your team to be made up of like-minded peers, go with your gut. If you don't get what you want though.... best to remember things positively and go with the flow. What is done is done and it was still a great wedding!

Two regrets:

1. Wedding dress tailor. I found her via WW (5 star ratings), and she was awful for my dress specifically. She convinced me it needed to be taken out without telling me that taking it out would sacrifice the silhouette. She didn't have it done enough for me to to know what had happened until 2 weeks before the wedding even though I took it to her in early March for a mid-May wedding. At that point, she had let the back out so much, she could fit her whole hand down the back, so it was 3 inches too big. I told her to take it back in, which she did but all the alterations cost $600, when I only really needed a bustle and hem. Should've gotten a second opinion. It did not look any better than the day I bought it. Our budget was pretty tight, so this extra expense really gets to me.

2. Our officiant: We got married at the church my mother attends, and the officiant was her pastor. We asked a friend to give a short homily but the pastor asked to speak as well. I didn't ask enough questions about what she was going to talk about or ask her to stick to a time limit, so she spoke for almost 15 minutes about symbols in marriage. It was very strange but entertaining and sparked a new #thatbasketthou

Reading up to here, it sounds like the vast consensus is to get a photo list (and bring a printed copy with you!). I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

Our wedding day was the best day of my life, & in the end the small little things that went wrong don't really matter. However, the one thing I really wish I didn't do was allow my MIL to invite all her additional guests. I personally did not want a lot of guests (I was thinking 50 max) and my MIL threw a tantrum because I wouldn't allow her to invite extended family, her friends, her co-workers etc. I ended up giving in and I wish I didn't. The extra guests made me super anxious & I was super uncomfortable seeing people at my wedding who I've never even met before. So basically, if there's anything you are giving into when it comes to family demands, don't do it, lol. Put your foot down when it comes to what you want.

I picked my bridesmaids and MOH way too early. i had a longish engagement and I picked everyone a year and a half before the wedding. By the time my wedding came around, my friendships were a little bit different. I would have waited much longer if i could go back in time.

Otherwise, I would not have changed a thing

My only real regret is not having a day-of coordinator. I planned everything and that was fine. The decorations were great, great food, etc. But the day of the wedding all questions from the venue, DJ, caterer, etc were defaulted to me... luckily my MOH and my cousin totally helped out and were awesome, but the last thing you want to do is answer everyone's questions on your wedding day.

On a side note, 3 days before my wedding I got a call from the saloon that we had scheduled all of our hair/make-up at and had my hair trial done there. The stylist who was supposed to do my hair and make-up up and quit. LUCKILY they had an experienced stylist from their other saloon who could do it and they let me come in and do a hair trial with her for free. She did a much better job on my hair than the other stylist so it turned out better for me in the end... just a little panic a few days before the event though! lol!

I regret not having us bridesmaid be done sooner. We ran behind couldn't get my family and bridesmaid photos before cercomy. Then didn't have time after cercomy. The only family photo I have is one with siblings and parents, and one with me and bridesmaid. I got amazing photos I just wanted individual with girls, and one with my siblings.

Don't spend a bunch of money that could ve spent purchasing a car or a house downpayment

I was so uptight about the timeline and if everyone was having fun. I worried so much about it that I couldn’t let go of all the things that went wrong. Everything felt so rushed and timed. Give yourself LOTS of extra time to soak in moments and RELAX!