Registry wording - please critique me

Beautiful, Tina.

Grownups do not need to be told how to give you money. If you don't have a registry, they will figure out you would rather have cash, and probably give it to you. If you asked for cash and I was your guest, I would probably give you nothing out of spite.

@C&S, no - I'm not ignoring the people telling me it's 'rude and tacky'. I'm looking at this as a learning opportunity and that's why I asked the question to begin with and then followed it up with additional questions as to what I could do differently

@BringOnMay...you say don't do registry to share with websites but then you say registry goes on shower invite or wedding website only or word of mouth (which would be all we would do anyway, NOT on wedding invite). But what if we're not doing a store registry, and then don't do a honeymoon registry either? What do I tell guests when they ask where I'm registered, or what should the wedding party say if guests ask one of them? Gawd I hate this part

If you really want to do a honeyfund, just do it. No cutesy wording. Just put it on your website next to a small registry. The end.

I think it would sound better if you could word it as a poem.

If they ask - "oh how sweet of you to ask, we arent registered we really don't need anything. We are saving up for X though"

I agree with some of the other ladies. If you put that their "presents" is enough, they should get the hint and give you cash. I think it is unnecessary and distasteful to include that you have "worked hard over the years to fill our home with our regular essentials". Some might think that if you worked hard for all your stuff, why can't you afford your own honeymoon.

It's up to you to do a honeymoon registry or not, but people will know to give you cash if you don't have a registry. There's no cut taken that way. (It's also easier to just write a check than to have to go online and find a site.) If you use a honeymoon registry you'll be charged service fees. If you or your BP are asked and you choose not to do either, just tell them you do not have a registry. They'll get the hint.

Honestly everyone hopes for cash. Abandon the cash/honeymoon registry and when people ask you, just say as Emmy has said, that you are saving up for X.

Posting it on your website still makes it sound like you're asking for cash. Can you create a small traditional registry with some upgrades? That will clearly get the point across that you're looking for cash.

It would totally be better if you made it into a cutesy poem. Be sure to include it as an insert in your invitations as well!!!!

MrsMoralesToBe, are you trying to make us giggle? Because it worked!!! lol :-)

...May I also suggest a dollar dance, while we're at it?...

I'm in my late 30s and have been to many weddings before there were Honeymoon Registries and even Wedding Websites. Guess What? People got cash, cold hard cash! Do not ask for money, do not ask for people to fund your vacation, do not ask for gifts of any sort, people can figure it out. There were weddings before the internet, just ask any of the brides here over 35.

I'm with @Emmy

It is said on here all the time - nobody has everything they need.

Have a small registry of things you want to replace.

Then do as Emmy says.

Karen, I am pretty new here and I would have no idea that it was rude to have a "Honeyfund" before coming here. However, I had never heard of one before coming here either! On the surface, it sounds like a cute idea. But as you have seen, some people think it is INSANELY rude to ask for such a thing. I don't know how people feel who aren't on here....maybe they think it's a cute idea too. However, to be safe, I'd steer clear of the whole idea just in case. We are planning on just having a small registry with small "upgrades" to things we have already. Other than that, we honestly don't want anything from our guests. If they give money, that's all well and good and we would put that towards the honeymoon.

Tina!!! I love that. FH doesn't really like having a registry. My BM/cousin is throwing me a shower so I have a small one.... maybe I can have a registry just for the shower? is that done? and then on the wedding website put that?

I'd just put a deposit slip in the invite ;-)

okay, just kidding. Emmy nailed it.

"I don't want to put nothing out there and then end up with a bunch of stuff from people..."....Sigh. YOU don't get to choose what people give you. They are gifts. The giver gets to choose. Your job is to be grateful and say thank you. Stop worrying about how to get people to give you money. You are not entitled to a vacation paid for by your guests.

@Celia, I'm hurt. I came here looking for advice because I've never done this before and I haven't been to a lot of wedding either so honestly don't know how this is handled. When a new bride who doesn't know a lot about weddings sees all this different information from a million sources and has to try to sort thru it to make sense of it and then comes looking for honest tips and feedback, your sarcasm is not appreciated.

Our wedding is so different from 'normal' weddings that even this part of it is a quandry for me. I'm working on creating our wedding website because our guests will have a lot of questions because of how different it will be. So I wanted to put all the info in the same place. The WW tool automatically puts a page there for info on the registry, and it was right here on WW that I got the first info about doing a honeymoon registry. To have everyone jump down my throat about it being 'tacky' is really conflicting and frustrating

I've deleted the registry page from the site and never started an actual registry so we'll skip that

FYI, we're paying for everything with the wedding ourselves. So we're hoping the monetary gifts from the guests will help offset that because this is not easy. The majority of the expense of the wedding is for providing amenities to the guests, not unnecessary things like a wedding dress or flowers

Please don't be hurt Karen; I can tell you that almost all the people who comment here (including me) do so with the intent of helping you. That being said, you've been on the forums for a while; this comes up almost every week. Did you not read any of those threads?

Most couples believe that their weddings are so different from everyone else's that a guidebook is necessary, when most of the time, the similarities are more prevalent than the differences. Trust me; no one's wedding is so different that your guests can't navigate it, probably with glee. If you're inviting people who truly know you, they'll expect some free spirited touches from you and your FH. They know you've been together for a while, I'd think they know you don't need a blender.

As for paying for it yourself, well....a vast majority (based on an unscientific poll) pay for much or all of their weddings themselves. It's not the rational to ask for cash.

So don't be hurt; if no one said anything....well, you wouldn't have another point of view. And that's always good, whether you take it or not.