Registry without Shower?

But when you give to a honeyfund the couple doesn't actually receive 100% of what the guests are paying. Other than it being rude, I think this is a good reason to avoid them

Alycia- the honeymoon registries cut you a check. The giver still has no control over what it's used for, on top of being deceived and charged a fee.

Right, but everyone keeps saying that guests money should not be used to your honeymoon expenses... and my point is that the giver has no control over what the couple uses the money for. Therefore, a cash gift will be used for their honeymoon

Please see comments above. Don't do it. "Have the wedding you can afford" includes having the honeymoon you can afford.

Who said they cannot afford the honeymoon? She didn't mention anywhere that they were having issues with that. Rather than getting gifts, they are preferring that same money that would be spent (not more, not less- THE SAME amount) be used towards their honeymoon. The point of a registry is to ask for gifts to start their lives out together and for some that has already occurred. If you've lived with your fiancé for some time now and have accumulated everything you need for your house, I don't see any harm in asking for that same money to be spent in other ways. The gifter is choosing to spend as much as they want, whether it's $50 or $500 there shouldn't be any issue with how the couple wants to use that money... if my opinion I would much rather send you on a vacation for the two of you than to stock your cabinets with more plates

@Kate- that's so not true though. people put things on their registries that they want their guests to buy for them... the whole point of the registry is to ASK for gifts specifically... but no matter how you slice it a registry is either asking for gifts or asking for money for a honeymoon... either way you're asking for something.

There's a huge disconnect here. Honeyfunds are a no no. Asking for money is not okay. Not registering and NOT asking for money is fine. People will give you money and you can spend it however you please...even on your honeymoon!

I guess we will all have to agree to disagree on this one!!

Some think it's acceptable and some don't- but I say that if you talk to your family and friends about it and most don't object GO FOR IT!!!! But maybe also do a small gift registry as well just to try and make everyone happy!!

Exactly what @Katie said.

A registry exists to give guests an idea of what items would be useful to the couple. It tells them "we have X flatware pattern, so X serving pieces will match" or "we would sure love some new towels!"

No one needs to be told that money is useful. It is completely obvious. I may not have use for a mixer if I already have a nice one, but I certainly will always have a use for more money.

It is gauche and tacky and totally not okay to ask your guest for money. Period. They will give you money if they want to, and you can spend it on whatever you want, but you cannot go around panhandling from your guests.

Oops, double post.

@Alycia--even if you were able to convince us that it is okay to hit people up for money, WHY would you ever have a honeymoon "registry"? If your guests just hand you a check or put money in a card, you get the full amount. But if they "buy" you a fake "experience," you only get a portion of the money they paid. Why would you do that to yourself, let alone your guests?

I personally think it's just a super fun idea!! I would have no problem giving to a honeymoon registry And lucky for me, I've already discussed the idea with my friends and more importantly my family and everyone is on board.

I more so just wanted the poster to know that not EVERYONE thinks this is a bad idea... just the weddingwire community. I even took this subject to Facebook and 50+ comments later everyone thought it was a fun idea for a couple that has already lived together and has all of the household items squared away. Although, some mentioned that others may not appreciate it which is I suggested doing a very small gift registry just to help even the playing field a bit.

Seriously, though. Why is it a "super fun idea" to give a for-profit website 4% of your gift money?

Say Aunt Joan decides that $100 is a good amount for a gift. She can buy you a $100 set of dishes from your registry. In that case, you get dishes worth $100. Or if you don't register, she puts a $100 bill in your card. In that case, you get cash equal to $100. Or you have a honeymoon registry and she buys you a fake massage that costs $100. In that case, you get cash equal to $96.

Why is that better? Why is that fun? Completely setting aside the question of rudeness, WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO RECEIVE 4% LESS MONEY?

@Vicki nope not at all, just changed it to our wedding hashtag!!

Offend all you want, nothing will bring me down

I will be flagging you though so, there's that haha

Sorry why are you flagging @vicki? She didn't insult you, just your bad advice...

'with your terribly tacky, entitled advice'... maybe if she didn't specifically say 'yours' I wouldn't but there's no need to be rude to me I've been nothing but nice!!

You didn't answer my question. Why is it "super fun" to give some random website 4% of your wedding gifts?

She said your advice was tacky.... not that YOU are..... no reason to flag

I didn't answer your question because there is no reasoning with you...

And there are sites out there that only charge you IF the gifter uses a credit card.

If they decide to send the money directly to you there is NO FEE!!!!

She didn't call you rude or say you were being rude. Just that you gave bad advice. That's allowed. Your flagging a non vio comment isn't.