Reception: Part Alcohol, Part Dry

@Punkin Beer, to echo @no, the southern baptists at my church; not speaking for all southern baptists because my church is very traditional, believe that the body is meant for worship and should be maintained as such. The goal is to keep the body pure because the body is of God. Anything that is not of God (i.e. alcohol, drugs, premarital sex) is thought to defile the body and as such defile God. The counter is that Jesus drank wine and that's the stock response to any southern baptists that don't drink. I don't have an answer to that. This is just the stance my church takes on alcohol and other issues. As far as I know, most members of the church don't drink at all. Me: I enjoy a good glass of wine and some beer so I don't adhere to that but I wouldn't serve alcohol at a wedding where 60% of the guests were members of my church. It's a tough situation because not everyone adheres to that lifestyle. Being southern baptist and refusing to serve alcohol is a deeply held religious belief for some.

Yea I really think some people don't understand how hard southern baptist are on food and dancing. I've seen people walk straight out from a wedding because of alcohol being present. If you do serve it; even for a cocktail hour prepare for some people to talk poorly of you and others to downright leave.

Wow crescent I would rather pay for

My own wedding and tell her fuck off then have her blackmail me into the wedding she wants. That's really Messed up hoe can you have a relationship with her,? It would ruin my wedding having someone there who literally blackmailed me out of what I wanted

You've already gotten some great advice.

I agree.

Your family should respect your wishes for your wedding. At the very least beer and wine should be offered all night, if you want to try to stay away from the harder stuff.

Since you're planning on having it at cocktail hour, the damage would already be done...don't confuse the people who do drink and take the alcohol away. Serve it the whole night.

I agree with PP, you are not going to make EVERYONE happy. Get rid of the hard stuff and stick with beer and wine the whole night. If your family doesn't agree, they don't need to partake. What does it matter to them what other people are putting in their bodies? If they don't have to deal with the effects or defiling their God-like bodies, they shouldn't dictate what other adults do.

I haven't read all the comments (bad, bad Zaz! lol), but I want to ask a question you may not have thought of: have you asked your venue/bartender/whomever is charge of the alcohol when they would normally stop serving with a time table like yours? At most of the weddings I've been to, the bar closes down 45 minutes to an hour before the end of the reception (probably due to insurance and liability issues). If you're having a two hour reception, chances are the bar would close early anyway, so it may be a complete non-issue. Just my 2 cents.

At least serve wine. Jesus turned water into wine. It can't be that evil.

@beachwedding2016: my mother died recently. We moved our wedding up so she could be there. Regardless, we weren't going to serve alcohol. His parents are also strict teetotaling southern baptists. And I would never tell my mother to fuck off.

Beutivant nailed it.

Just serve alcohol throughout. If they're going to be annoyed by its presence and not drinking, they probably won't even realize the bar is closed if people still have drinks from earlier anyway.

My dad's family is southern Baptist and my mom is uncomfortable around alcohol, so I get the concern. But the reality is that the drinkers will want the bar to stay open and the adamant non-drinkers won't be happy there's even a bar. There's no way to please everyone in this situation, unfortunately.

Punkin Beer - in my experience, they usually take verses related to drunkenness and apply it to drinking in general as though drinking automatically equals drunkenness.

@Crescent1894, thank you for the great answer! There is a certain logic there.

If the alcohol is already going to be there, how is it any different if it is being served throughout?Serve it the whole time if you are clearly willing to have alcohol present.

I personally think that sounds fine! My side of the family doesn't drink either, and we're actually not having alcohol at all. Personally because FH and I don't feel it's needed. If people are having to drink to get through our wedding we don't want that! And on top of that I've been to weddings where people got to out of hand. But I think that sounds perfectly reasonable to have cocktails only during the cocktail hour! People should be fine to go 2 hours without a drink

Serve drinks the whole night. It's incredibly disappointing to get a drink during cocktail hour and then shut the bar down. Or people will hang around the bar the entire cocktail hour and "stock up" before the bar closes. If your Southern Baptist family is offended by alcohol, they'll be offended by an hour of alcohol too.

Dear, I feel like I could have wrote this post myself, only its FHs family and our social circle that dont drink, and my family are the drinkers.

I think what we will end up doing is hosting an unofficial after party for my family (and whoever else wants to partake)

@Punkin Beer, no problem! It's a very misunderstood lifestyle. Not saying I adhere to it, but I've always respected those that do. It's not for everyone.

I would either have a brunch reception, or I would serve alcohol for the entire reception. It's not a good idea to only have an open bar for 1 hour and then shut it down. As PP have said people will overrun the bar to get as many drinks as possible for the bar shuts down. Not a pretty sight. Offer beer, wine and champagne if nothing else. Good luck.

If I had to choose, I think I'd prefer a wedding without a cocktail hour before the dinner, that's dry through the dinner (or has a single served glass of wine) and the first dances, etc, but then the bar opens up and the party starts afterwards. That way, any relatives who may be offended by alcohol can just leave after the dinner and dances if they'd like to or if the alcohol bothers them, and the rest of the people can stay and party without feeling judged.

Thank y'all so much! These comments have been great. Oddly, they don't have a problem with dancing. Our venue is an aquarium so an evening reception is the only choice. Would it be better to just not serve any alcohol than do only an hour of it?