Reception: Part Alcohol, Part Dry

No snark is intended in this. I think your mom's side of the family should realize just because they don't drink, doesn't mean everyone else doesn't. If they don't want to, then they don't have to. And alcohol should be available to the adults who want it the whole time. Otherwise it's almost like you are punishing everyone else because of what some people feel. It's not right.

My question about your mom's family is this: do these people sit in places like Applebees, Chilis, Ruby Tuesday, etc and eat dinner? If they do they are sitting a room eating dinner with people who are drinking at other tables. If it isn't a problem there, why is this a problem for your wedding? That side of the family gets to make decisions on how they lead their life, not everyone else's. As a Christian I never understand people getting their knickers in a bunch. No one is making you drink alcohol.

I would serve it!

I'd honestly just serve it throughout. One thing I've seen done though is that the bar shuts down at dinner but wine is on the table. Could you have wine available at the tables, aside from a teetotal section where the non-drinkers can be seated?

I was hesitant because FH mom is the same way. My family doesn't drink but our friends do. I decided that if she/his family really love us, they wouldn't mind sitting through three hours of alcohol.

I was in the same boat. My mom was a strict southern baptist and she informed me from the get go that she would not pay for nor attend our wedding if there was alcohol. We have opted to do a brunch reception on a Sunday so one would expect it. That way, the reception is more than cake and punch but not a huge blowout affair. You could always have an after party with your friends and go out somewhere.

ETA: are you parents paying? If so, they get a say. If you don't serve alcohol, be prepared for it to be a much lower-key affair.

Second ETA: is your family hardcore about dancing too? My mom was, and we weren't going to have dancing. (Based on @no's comment)

At some point you'll have to stop catering to other people's needs, put your foot down and stand up to your family. It's ONE DAY. They can't deal with being in the presence of alcohol for a few hours? I mean, we're talking about three hours here.

My thought is that you do not involve them with how you plan on properly hosting your guests. I don't think your compromise is a good one at all. I think the compromise is for them to stop pushing their religious beliefs on you and everyone else.

They can go cry in the corner.

How about just having beer wine and champagne? No hard alcohol.

I agree with pp's. Serve alcohol throughout. Don't let your family dictate what is appropriate for your guests.

My moms family is southern baptist too. If they are that hardcore about alcohol then they are most likely that hardcore about dancing too. I know its hard when its your family and Im sure you love them but they should not force their beliefs on other people.

Honestly only serving it during cocktail hour is not going to change anything in their mind so you might as well make the rest of your guest happy. I agree with not serving anything hard and letting them sit in their own misery.

***Let them all know alcohol will be served and give them a chance to decline the reception part of the wedding so you are not paying for food that goes to waste.***

On the note of eating at restaurants, many members of my grandparents church (the church my great great grandfather built) do not eat at restaurants that serve alcohol.

Not being snarky, but why do Southern Baptists not like dancing or alcohol? What are their Biblical text references? Genuinely curious.

I'm not 100% sure. I dont think its alcohol or dancing on it own. Alcohol impairs your judgement and you are more likely to fall to temptation. And dancing with the opposite sex leads to other things.

My mom has told me stories of her grandfather (my great grandfather) moving the furniture so that the youth group could have dances. His opinion was he would rather have his grandkids have innocent fun in his house then go out and get into trouble. It was a secret that the youth group kept lol.

SERVE ALCOHOL . End of story

Some of FH's family and friends are this way too. Like seriously won't eat at a place like Beef O'Bradys because it's too much like a bar. They can quote several references in the bible to justify their beliefs.

Anyway, like Crescent, we decided on a Sunday afternoon reception for this reason. I don't think you can serve for part of the time and then cut them off. It should be all or nothing.

Growing up Seventh Day Adventist it was the a same thing. Alcohol, dancing, jewelry.... all bad. As an adult Ive made an executive decision that alcohol, dancing and fun will be had at my wedding. They also dont eat pork and Ive also served por ribs at a get together once. Oh well, this is the real world.... people drink alcohol, dance and put pepperoni on their pizza. I know Im not helping you much but I guess Im saying.... you do you.

FMIL's family is also southern baptist. For my FSIL's wedding FMIL side just left after dinner but there was alcohol through out. We expect they will do the same for our wedding. I would never want you to ask your parents to leave but maybe it's an option your family would feel more comfortable with? But IMO Just have alcohol through out because partial alcohol is confusing for the guests and not sure how much "better" the solution is if your parents are still against alcohol... Part alcohol is still alcohol.

Tough spot to be in though I know! Good luck!

I am not being snarky either. But your line "we want to make everyone happy" struck me. I thought about yesterday when reading other posts.

My dad used to say when you make a wedding, someone is going to say something. Do it right and don't worry about it.

That being said, serve it up and have that be the precedent to you and your fh dealing with family getting their mudandi in a knot.

Oh, and when in doubt, listen to Gymie

I think you will end up with more people hammered if they are pounding drinks during cocktail hour since the bar is closing.

If your moms family is going to be mad - they will be mad over 1 hour of bar service or 3

Seems like they would be bothered by any amount of alcohol so cutting off the bar will only bother your guests instead of appeasing your family.

There's no point in just having it at cocktail hour. If it's there, the Southern Baptists will be irritated anyways.

It's better to serve it throughout. Alcohol needs food with it, and so it's actually just as sensible to serve it with dinner.

My mom's family is Southern Baptist (my grandparents made me go to vacation bible school at their church in the summer - that was an experience), but only one of my cousins stuck to the stick adherence of no alcohol and no dancing at her wedding.