Reception only invites

It is very common these days that people either elope or have a very small intimate ceremony but then a larger reception. I would honestly type in the website Etsy reception only invitations and look up some ideas as they have the perfect wedding wording for that.

Guests should be invited to the entire event or none of it. There's no polite way to say "sorry, you're not one of the 95 most important people to us, so you can't come to the ceremony." You should cut your entire guest list to 95 or find a different ceremony space.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks for the reply!

You should keep your guest list so that all of your guests can attend both events. If your ceremony location can only hold 95, you should only have 95 total guests.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. We’ve had friends elope and then have another reception or have a wedding with just parents and siblings and a bigger reception and those have been fine. I don’t think I’d attend a reception if nearly 100 people were invited to the ceremony but I didn’t make the cut for that.

Thanks everyone for the advice! This is what I was looking for although some of the comments have a very harsh tone! still appreciate the advice.

It’s pretty rude to invite people to just the reception... basically telling them “you’re not in our top 95 most important people.”


Here are your options as I see it....

1) cut your guest list down to 95
2) is there a reason you can’t have the ceremony in the “reception room”?
3) Find a different venue to host your ceremony
4) Find a different venue altogether

You can have a smaller guest list for the ceremony than the reception only if the ceremony is very intimate. So if you invite only your immediate families (parents, siblings, and their SOs) to the ceremony, people are likely to be okay with it (provided that you let the others know in advance that they are invited only to a reception in honor of your marriage, not the wedding itself). However, if you invite 95 to the ceremony and 150 to the reception, you'll get a lot of hard feelings. People know they are not part of your immediate family, but it's kind of insulting to tell them they aren't among your 95 closest friends.

View Quoted Comment

What if we invite only the immediate family to the ceremony (moms, siblings and nieces/nephews)? That would be 40 people.

The room holds 95, it doesn't mean I need to invite 95. I wish I could have everyone!! I was asking for the best way to split people without being rude. In other sites I saw if it is immediate family, is OK?

View Quoted Comment I suppose it’s “ok” if you do just immediate family, but still I mean I wouldn’t be happy about that as a guest. I love seeing people’s ceremonies... to know that the ceremony was happening earlier in the same facility and then I’m just invited to the party after is just a bit odd to me. I also can’t imagine the venue being more important than having all my guests there? If these people aren’t important enough to share your ceremony then why are you bothering to invite them at all?

People should be invited to both the ceremony and reception, or not at all. Sounds like you either need to cut your guest list or change your venue.

I think it makes the most sense to either have a small, intimate ceremony followed by a big reception or to have a ceremony and reception that are equal modest sizes.

95 people is still a sizable amount, so having 95 people get to attend your ceremony and then adding another 55 on top of that for the reception does make those guests invited only to the reception seem like the second cut. I think if you want a 150 reception you should find a way to make the ceremony very exclusive, like just immediate family and wedding party members, or you should just limit your guest count to 95 and allow everyone to attend both.

I had this same problem when choosing a venue — the ceremony space held less than the reception space. To resolve the issue, I asked the venue if both the ceremony and reception could be held in the bigger room and they said yes. So my ceremony will be held in the bigger room and during the cocktail reception in another space, the same room will be “flipped” for the reception. If this is a standard wedding venue, I’m sure it’s something they can handle (although they it may not be an option they initially provide). Hope this helps.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for you comment. The venue said they can do that but they may not have the space separate for the cocktail hour. I’ll work with them to figure something out!

I've had close coworkers invite us to reception only. I didn't look at it as rude at all because I knew they were inviting our entire small company since we were a very close group, but realistically if we all said yes it'd be too much! We were also in the same city as the wedding. None of us took it personally. So I'd say if it was guests like coworkers or cousins/young people who don't need to travel far, it's not a big deal and they'd understand. But as an out of town guest I'd probably not find the trouble worth it to me for a two hour reception. Good luck!

I've been to one of these weddings before. While I didn't see an issue with it, I was one of the 95 invited. (It was more like 30 people.) There were people that went to the reception only, and they were a little offended by the fact that they got the reception only invite when I had the same relation to the bride as they did.
It's not ideal.

View Quoted Comment

Great advice and solution, Sharonda!!

View Quoted Comment

This depends on where you're from. In America, yes, people expect to be invited to the whole shebang. In Europe, often close friends and family are invited to the ceremony, then more guests show up for a dinner reception, then even more people show up later for an evening reception. This is normal depending on how close you are to the couple. It's not considered rude at all.

View Quoted Comment

The OP's vendors are from Michigan, so I would massume that her wedding is in America where it's rude to exclude your less important guests from half of your event.

View Quoted Comment

Caytlyn, yes it is in America (United States). In Michigan, where I've had wedding invitations to reception only. My question was for advice on how people split the invitation list, as I KNOW this is done in the United States. I have seen very useful comments in this thread and I appreciate and thank those who have given good advice or have said the same thing in a more kind way. There is no 'less important' people. Or for another comment where they are asking why bother inviting anyone at all. Well because I want to celebrate and offer dinner, drinks and dancing to spend time with people. And for those that would have the next comment, the invitation will say "no presents." It's sad for me to see my email every day since my question with people calling me rude. Something that I thought I would get advice on, has turned out to be what feels like an attack. I really wish I could delete this question and stop all these comments that I consider RUDE, just because of the way they are worded. oh and by the way, i don't consider a 15 minute ceremony 'half of the event.'