Reception only guests

View Quoted Comment I dont remember reading that the 26 were NOT only family. Ive been on the b-list at a wedding and it didnt bother me a bit especially now planning my own and seeing how difficult and expensive it is. Im an adult, im not going to cry that i didnt make the cut if im offended i just wont go

View Quoted Comment

100% number 2. It's not rude to have open seats. Plus the restaurant wouldn't set a place for guests who weren't coming.

View Quoted Comment 2 is more rude. There’s nothing rude about not maxing out the reception space.

View Quoted Comment

And to be clear - everyone invited is family. Whether by blood or because we have spent our entire lives together - they are all family.

View Quoted Comment

That's fine you weren't offended by being b-listed but that doesn't make it not rude. Just like her guests who aren't invited to the reception only might not be offended, but again, doesn't make it not rude.

Also, there is a difference between family and immediate family which is what the poster you responded to was talking about...

I'd reach out to those seven people ahead of time and explain the situation. It's the best you can do at this point. As PPs have said, you don't want people to show up to find out they were part of the 20% of guests who weren't invited to the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment

Thank you, we will do that.

View Quoted Comment Sorry to say OP, but #2 for sure. I don’t see how anyone would think #1 is rude.

But.... there’s no going back now. If I received the invite with the wording you outlined, it would be clear to me that the ceremony had already taken place. I think if I showed up to the dinner and saw that it was still an initimate dinner and not a full blown reception, I’d be a little confused and may assume you chose to elope with no attendees at all. You know these guests the best as to whether or not they will take offense to the fact that they were one of seven who were not invited to the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment Having open seats isn’t rude at all. That affects no one but you. Just removing those seats, or even an entire table, would solve that “issue” rather easily.

If this had been my situation, I probably would have nixed those 7 guests, or found a venue that could accommodate my full guest list (the point of the reception is celebrating that 2 people got married, which they were not there for). Since this is the situation, I would reach out to those 7 people individually, by phone, and explain the situation and ask if they will join you. I don't think there is any point in drawing attention to a hand full of people on the website, or in another public way

I don't really get the mistake...I would completely understand what you mean? However, I would assume you had a city hall wedding and only a small amount of people went and I wasn't in fact part of the minority that didn't. Not sure that matters but just to add on perspective?

I know this is super old but I felt the need to comment I'm on your side April, idk what the outcome was but there's only so much you can do with the venue restrictions and it's YOUR DAY and nobody else's. I think as long as you're super clear that whoever is being invited to reception only on the invites is only being invited to the reception you can do whatever you want. If someone wants to be offended that's on them and in the end they do not have to come. It's the thought that counts and the fact you're still trying to include them! I wouldn't feel comfortable inviting people to watch me get married out of obligation and if I was invited to a reception only I wouldn't be offended at all, I would be happy the couple thought enough of me to include me in the celebration in some way.


And I've heard people say it looks gift grabby which couldn't be further from the truth. Gifts are not (and never are) expected and if someone is going to withhold a gift(that should be given freely) over the simple fact they didn't witness someone getting married is so petty to me. The couple already is paying for a whole celebration that you are invited to attend and that is enough. What the guest decides to do based upon that is solely up to them but deciding to withhold out of pettiness for not being invited to the ceremony like I said before is sad. And nobody is forcing them to attend either.
Now inviting someone to ONLY the ceremony is another story, I won't go there. But anyway I just felt compelled to say do whatever works for you and this goes for everyone! Don't judge, especially because it's not your wedding and at the end of the day it's all about the fact you and your partner are married. ❤️