Reception: Kids vs. No Kids

We originally said no kids because we don't have kids in our family that we are close to. But then we found out our venue requires a 200 adult minimum. So we will invite the kids to make sure the family comes. Kids meals are less than half the adult price, anyways. So I don't mind. But it didn't hurt our budget at all so it was an easy decision for us.

At my first wedding we said absolutely no kids. Most people were fine with it. A couple of my ex's family members pitched a blessed it and brought their kids anywhere, against our wishes.

DH is a teacher and loves kids. Everyone we know has kids (including me) so I didn't even mention not having kids. The only people who brought their kids were immediate family, and kids with whom we actually have a relationship (nephews, close cousins).

ALL of our extended family and friends told us they wanted an adult- weekend (most came from at least an hour away and spent the night).

It's a bit risky, inviting kids and then hoping people leave them behind, but it might be worth it. People, in general, find out they CAN'T do something and they automatically fight back and blow everything out of proportion instead of seeing the positive.

He is worried about kids running around, crying during the ceremony, and I guess stifling his ability to have fun. I just don't know how to make this work. He said we shouldn't be worried about anyone else but ourselves, because he believes that I've been trying to cater to everyone.

We invited kids, and we are thinking this. IF almost all the families come, we will hire a baby sitter for the kids at the venue. If not as many families rsvp with kids as we think will, we will let the families coming know of a babysitter option at the hotel.

I love kids and didn't want to exclude them, but I also wanted the wedding we wanted which includes beer and wine and a band. I'll let the parents decide if they want to bring them or not.

I guess I should explain that we are getting married in my hometown, but all my college and 'adult' friends are about an 1 1/2 away. Fh's family and friends are states and states away, so we expect a lot of OOT guests.

I think there are "kid friendly" weddings and "adult only" weddings. It just depends on the atmosphere and the type of wedding you are having. If you are in an expensive, $200 a plate, venue with breakables, and there is an abundance of alcohol-kids should not be involved (you wouldn't bring kids to a bar). If it's a more laid back wedding with a menu for kids and a kids corner or room for them to do activities and have fun, then kids would be appropriate. I'm sure many will disagree with me, but I don't believe every wedding should involve kids.

PS-I did not have any children at my wedding. It was a choice I made from the beginning and stuck with it. Of course, I don't have any kids. I'm sure my view would be much different if I had children.

I was thinking of having a kids' room if our venue has that capacity. I'm not sure. We haven't even decided on a venue yet because the venue we booked got booked by another bride at the same time so we're back to square one. I understand that we're having liquor (his request by the way because I wanted a cash bar seeing as I don't drink and the majority of my family doesn't either) but how are we supposed to have children in the ceremony and then not at the reception. Like where are these children supposed to go?

Most of our guests will be invited as families, so it was a no-brainer for us to invite kids.

It perfectly fine to have a kid-free wedding but there are a couple of things:

- you shouldn't invite kids to the ceremony and not to the reception (wedding party kids). That is rude. It's like you want them as props for your ceremony and photos, but you don't want to feed them a meal or allow them to join the party.

- you shouldn't split up siblings. Parents will not be happy if one of their kids is in the wedding party and allowed at the reception, but the siblings aren't. It isn't fair. It also makes thing difficult logistically.

We are only inviting our nieces and nephews (about 10 children). My FH has a huge family and many of his first cousins have four or more children. Our venue only holds 120 for a seated dinner so,there just isn't enough space to accommodate all the children in our families. We are prepared for people not to come because we can't accommodate their children.

I am thinking about providing a sitter for the children that will be at the reception so that the parents can have a little break. Good luck!

We have our children in the wedding, 11, 9, 7, and 4 .. There will be other children at our wedding around those ages also. Dealing with one with ADD. to boot. We've told others if they are bringing their children it's up to them to keep them under control. They will have to be with them at all times and make sure they are not an interruption. I wouldn't worry about ceremony as much as reception though. I have told my kids that if you are out of control you get three tickets lose them and you're going home!!! Misbehaving it not tolerated!

No kids for me. Every wedding I've been to that has had kids I feel like they've been a hazard. It just makes me too nervous.

We are inviting kids, but we both have such small families and only a few friends who have kids, so the total number of kids invited is only 6-8. I think we would invite kids even if they had more and give the parent the choice of bringing their kids, or having the night to themselves.

There are quite a few comments (in previous threads) how about kid free weddings give the parents a night off and time to enjoy themselves with their friends. While this may be true, it seems strange to make this choice for the parents 'for their own enjoyment'.

It seems like if often comes down to budget for the bride and groom.

Finally- what is your venue like? Some venues aren't as safe to have kids running around as others.

Only kids that are allow to come are my children niece and nephew and his niece and nephew and godchildren That is it, if my cousin cant find a baby sitter than thats a minus one on my guest list. And not to be rude if someone brings their child or children they will be escorted out by my wedding planner. I am sending the invitations out in due time for people to find a baby sitter. Hope everything goes well.

I'm hoping that our venue will let us set up a kid menue and kid area/room. I think it will be a lot less stressful than continuing to have this argument every time we go over the guest list.

I am having about ten children, most of them a little older. Since we are older (42 and 50 when we marry), the reception will have drinking but not hard partying. I love all the children who are invited and I want them there as much as any of the adults I've invited.

We had kids at our wedding, about 12 kids. They ranged in ages from 8 months to 15 years old. Since most of our guests were from out of town, if we said no kids that would eliminate a lot of those guests including family and close friends from coming.

We had a kids menu for them (chicken fingers and fries), activity books and crayons at the tables for them to use during speeches. A few parents did take the option to leave their kids at home and have a day/weekend away from kids.

This has been one of the biggest disagreements FH and I have had throughout the planning process. The majority of my extended family is from out of town and I was afraid that not allowing them to bring their kids would cause them to skip coming to the wedding and I would be really disappointed. He thinks they will be a distraction. We haven't even sent out invites yet and already I know that 2 of my cousins will not be bringing their kids, so now we're only looking at 6-7 kids, 3 of which are my niece and nephew. We will have chicken fingers and fries for the kids as well as activity books. I definitely see both sides of it and know it can be a touchy subject! Good luck!

There will be no kids at our wedding except for our son-3yrs old, my 2 step daugthers 8 & 10yrs, my sis 15yrs and FH nieces and nephews 8,10, 12& 17.

At first I only wanted my son and step daugthers there but my FH wanted his nieces and nephews there so... My family and his family is full of kids were inviting 144 guest and I have a huge family so that mean the more kids I invited the less adults I will be able to invite. I feel most people will understand if u say no kids.

If you and FH are the only ones paying for you wedding I say do what u want. People can complain all they want but most parents know that your kids will not always be able to go to every event with them.

If you don't have a venue yet, I would stop stressing about the guest list. Once a venue has been secured you can move forward with deciding what the guest list should be. That being said, your MOH is right. If you decide no children, you should expect some people to decline the invitation to your wedding. Personally, I decided to allow children. I didn't want parents to have to decide to attend without their children or not come. I trust my guests to keep their children in line and I have ideas in place to keep them entertained during dinner/speeches. At a wedding I was at recently, the children that were there were misbehaving because everything was running late and they were hungry. My plan is to ask that the younger children be feed during cocktail hour and then they will have coloring books and crayons during dinner. I know some parents are already planning on leaving their kids home but that's their choice.

We're having a VERY kid friendly wedding. An adult's only wasn't an option with my 4 nieces, and FH 6 nieces and nephews. However, I completely undertsand why someone wouldn't want kids at their wedding. Aside from the cost factor, I was at a wedding where kids were running around crazy, and NO one was watching their child (I saw a dad, holding and bottle feeding his baby while in line at the bar... more power to ya). But, because no one was watching them, it was becoming dangerous, and I almost fell numerous times over the 4 year olds running wild.

So, while I want a kid friendly wedding, I also know the adults that come along with the kids. I know I have responsible adults who aren't going to set their children free to run around all crazy.