Is it unheard of and/or rude to do a small wedding cake just for cutting/pictures (and for like the bride/groom, bridal party to eat) and then cupcakes for everyone else?
Yes it is rude to do so but that doesn't stop people from doing it. It's like serving ribeye for you and your new husband and everyone else gets chicken. Don't serve something unless everyone is offered the same thing equally.
Many people really do think that cakes and cupcakes are made of completely different ingredients, taste, etc and do not believe they are simply a different presentation of the same thing. But a cupcake and a cake just for cutting and the couple in this situation are vastly different because your guests are not being treated as equal to you. Also don't assume that cupcakes cost less because there is actually much more labor involved than a simple cutting cake or a tiered cake. So they tend to cost much more at specialty bakeries for that reason.
It has become pretty common, but I would make sure to get cupcakes from the same place and in the same flavor as the cake, otherwise you might make some guests feel some type of way since you are planning to serve the bridal party something "special".
I mean, the more I think about it, I also think it would be rude to have the cake just for the wedding party but I would honestly rather do a small cake for just the bride and groom and then have like a variety of desserts.
Source around and see what works within your budget.
Another thing you can do is instead of cupcakes, have a slab cake. Your baker can do identical flavours to your display cake, and this way, when served with a slice of cake, it will not necessarily appear as though your guests are having anything different to the cake you cut into. Generally they are also cheaper than cupcakes.
I'd say this is pretty standard these days! At my wedding we just had a small cutting cake for us to cut and eat just for us, and for our guests we had three different desserts for them to choose from, churro cupcakes, pumpkin cheesecakes, and mini apple pies. They were a hit and all of our guests loved them!
Doing a cutting cake for you and FH and cupcakes for everyone else is fine. Having the cutting cake for you, FH and a select few of “special” guests (ie your wedding party) is not ok.
I went to one wedding like this (bride and groom cut a small cake for themselves and there were a few dessert buffets with other kinds of sweets for everyone else) and honestly it was slightly confusing and annoying. The DJ announced the cake cutting for the photos, so we assumed there was cake, and then my friends and I wandered around the venue trying to find where the cake was being served, only to figure out that it wasn't.
If cost is the issue, then I would look into finding a bakery that can have a small display cake and serve sheet cake for the rest. It tastes exactly the same and nobody will ever know.
I think cupcakes are just fine! I’ve been to several weddings where they only had cupcakes; however, I would do 2 per guest... I took a bite of one and it was gross so I wanted to try another flavor lol
That's fine! We've been to plenty of weddings that did this! The couple just had the cupcakes the same flavor as the wedding cake!
I'd also ask your cake baker if they offer sheet cakes for the guests. Our baker does, so we're just doing a 2 tier wedding cake with sheet cakes for our guests. It's more cost efficient for us than doing a cake and cupcakes.
Honestly, if you’re trying to please everyone, you’ll make yourself crazy. There will always be people who think everything out of the “wedding norm” is wrong/weird/rude and they can’t handle alternative ideas (you can see that if you read enough posts on here) 😆. However, if you go that route for dessert, I’d suggest having the cake and cupcakes already on display so that it’s no surprise to guests. In other words, I wouldn’t display only the small cake and then have cupcakes magically appear from the kitchen. Serving cupcakes was pretty popular a few years ago, especially using cupcake towers with the cake on the top tier. Since even a 6” round cake is too much for 2 people to eat alone, I don’t see a problem with sharing slices with your bridal party. If you do something like these pics, the top tier comes down and is easily cut. I don’t know, but this idea doesn’t look rude or tacky to me 🤷🏽♀️
