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Morgan
Beginner October 2022

Reception Desserts

Morgan, on January 14, 2021 at 5:54 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 20
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Is it unheard of and/or rude to do a small wedding cake just for cutting/pictures (and for like the bride/groom, bridal party to eat) and then cupcakes for everyone else?

20 Comments

Latest activity by Sexypoodle, on January 15, 2021 at 9:33 AM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    That's not unheard of! in fact it's becoming pretty common because of the cost of wedding cake being so high

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  • CountryBride
    Super April 2022
    CountryBride Online ·
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    Yes we are having a 5 tier cake and then cupcakes too as well as other desserts including cheesecake brownies etc

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  • Michelle
    Master October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    Yes it is rude to do so but that doesn't stop people from doing it. It's like serving ribeye for you and your new husband and everyone else gets chicken. Don't serve something unless everyone is offered the same thing equally.


    Many people really do think that cakes and cupcakes are made of completely different ingredients, taste, etc and do not believe they are simply a different presentation of the same thing. But a cupcake and a cake just for cutting and the couple in this situation are vastly different because your guests are not being treated as equal to you. Also don't assume that cupcakes cost less because there is actually much more labor involved than a simple cutting cake or a tiered cake. So they tend to cost much more at specialty bakeries for that reason.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    It has become pretty common, but I would make sure to get cupcakes from the same place and in the same flavor as the cake, otherwise you might make some guests feel some type of way since you are planning to serve the bridal party something "special".

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  • Morgan
    Beginner October 2022
    Morgan ·
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    I mean, the more I think about it, I also think it would be rude to have the cake just for the wedding party but I would honestly rather do a small cake for just the bride and groom and then have like a variety of desserts.

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    Source around and see what works within your budget.

    Another thing you can do is instead of cupcakes, have a slab cake. Your baker can do identical flavours to your display cake, and this way, when served with a slice of cake, it will not necessarily appear as though your guests are having anything different to the cake you cut into. Generally they are also cheaper than cupcakes.

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  • Michelle
    Master October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    If you want something for the couple and wedding party only, do not invite other guests
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  • Morgan
    Beginner October 2022
    Morgan ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Oh thats a good idea!

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  • Morgan
    Beginner October 2022
    Morgan ·
    • Flag

    And if I did do cupcakes (I have about 150 guests) how many cupcakes should I get? Like 1 per person or 2?

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    Providing they aren't those teeny tiny cupcakes, one per person.

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  • Samantha
    Expert October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Every bakery I’ve looked into has a “cutting cake” included with the cupcakes. It seems pretty standard around here.
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  • Marissa
    Expert October 2020
    Marissa ·
    • Flag

    I'd say this is pretty standard these days! At my wedding we just had a small cutting cake for us to cut and eat just for us, and for our guests we had three different desserts for them to choose from, churro cupcakes, pumpkin cheesecakes, and mini apple pies. They were a hit and all of our guests loved them!

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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    Doing a cutting cake for you and FH and cupcakes for everyone else is fine. Having the cutting cake for you, FH and a select few of “special” guests (ie your wedding party) is not ok.
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna Online ·
    • Flag

    I went to one wedding like this (bride and groom cut a small cake for themselves and there were a few dessert buffets with other kinds of sweets for everyone else) and honestly it was slightly confusing and annoying. The DJ announced the cake cutting for the photos, so we assumed there was cake, and then my friends and I wandered around the venue trying to find where the cake was being served, only to figure out that it wasn't.

    If cost is the issue, then I would look into finding a bakery that can have a small display cake and serve sheet cake for the rest. It tastes exactly the same and nobody will ever know.

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  • S
    Devoted November 2021
    Sara ·
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    I personally think that would be very rude.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    It would be more appropriate for just the bride and groom to eat the cake and serve cupcakes to all guests, including the bridal party.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Our baker recommended 1.5 per guest and we had quite a few left over. I would say 1.25 per person.
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  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
    • Flag
    I think cupcakes are just fine! I’ve been to several weddings where they only had cupcakes; however, I would do 2 per guest... I took a bite of one and it was gross so I wanted to try another flavor lol
    • Reply
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
    • Flag

    That's fine! We've been to plenty of weddings that did this! The couple just had the cupcakes the same flavor as the wedding cake!

    I'd also ask your cake baker if they offer sheet cakes for the guests. Our baker does, so we're just doing a 2 tier wedding cake with sheet cakes for our guests. It's more cost efficient for us than doing a cake and cupcakes.

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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    Honestly, if you’re trying to please everyone, you’ll make yourself crazy. There will always be people who think everything out of the “wedding norm” is wrong/weird/rude and they can’t handle alternative ideas (you can see that if you read enough posts on here) 😆. However, if you go that route for dessert, I’d suggest having the cake and cupcakes already on display so that it’s no surprise to guests. In other words, I wouldn’t display only the small cake and then have cupcakes magically appear from the kitchen. Serving cupcakes was pretty popular a few years ago, especially using cupcake towers with the cake on the top tier. Since even a 6” round cake is too much for 2 people to eat alone, I don’t see a problem with sharing slices with your bridal party. If you do something like these pics, the top tier comes down and is easily cut. I don’t know, but this idea doesn’t look rude or tacky to me 🤷🏽‍♀️
    Reception Desserts 1
    Reception Desserts 2


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