Reception before the wedding

That's kind of weird, yes?

Why do you assume people wouldn't drive 2 hours for your wedding/reception on the given date? I get that you may have some declines, but I would just invite who you want to invite from both sides to your April 8th ceremony/reception, and let it be.

2 hours isn't that far of a drive. If it's a saturday I don't see the problem with inviting everyone to the ceremony and reception 2 hours away all on the same day.

I wouldn't be able to do another reception on sunday

Why do you need to do another reception? Either people come on Saturday or they don't...

Hi Kaity! I'm not sure I fully understand why you need to have two separate receptions. That will more than double the amount of time, work, energy, and cost for you!!

I'd either pick a date and location that works for the majority of your guests, or I'd pick the date and location you prefer and understand if guests RSVP no!

My mother and grandmother feel like it is too far for family friends to drive

DO NOT do two receptions

We have a reception site that is a 1 hr drive for us, and a minimum 2 hr drive (or flight) for everyone else. 2 hrs away is not that far, especially for a Saturday wedding.

Hey Kaity, so! The answer is no, do not have two receptions if YOU DONT WANT TO. This is YOUR day. Not your moms. Not your grandmas. They had theirs. It is NOT too far. I live in Ga and my family all live in Chicago. 14.5 h drive or 2 h flight. And the venue is 2 h away from my house here in Ga. No one in my family has a problem with it because it's mine and my future beaus day. And if they love us they are going to make an effort to attend. Our date is set far off but we did that on purpose and have already paid everything off because we plan on taking several vacations before the wedding and circumnavigate the world because we won't be able to have a honeymoon. Always working things around US. Most of my friends are finishing up their degrees so they're extremely busy but they are still taking time to come out and do things with us and for us even though my MOH lives 3 hours away from me. And she has expressed to me, she would not do it if she didn't want to. Just do you! It's gonna be great! Save the money and splurge in something else. Whatever you do. Be happy with your decision.

You used the word "weird", and honestly, yes, this is hitting me as weird.

You initially mentioned a Sunday when you said that "most people in your state" do not go to weddings and receptions on Sundays (that surprised me. What state are you referring to?). Correct me if I misinterpreted, but it sounds like you were already planning to do a separate reception for the people in your home town, and while Sunday would make more sense because your wedding/reception is happening on a Saturday, the fact that you don't believe anyone will come on a Sunday made you decide to have the reception in your home town on a Friday -- the day before your wedding. Did I get that right?

Besides the "huh?" factor in this plan, you are setting yourself up for total exhaustion. Many couples collapse in the bridal suite after their weddings are over. To think of you getting up and doing an instant replay the next makes me tired.

You are not talking about people who live too far away to attend. I drive two hours to attend weddings (I've driven six hours), and in a situation like this, I think they should come to your wedding -- I don't think you have to bring the wedding to them.

ETA: I just saw your subsequent post, Kaity. Your mother and grandmother are focusing on the wrong thing. Aside from the fact that they are incorrect in their assumptions, they are saying that a two hour drive is too much for your guests, so you, the bride, need to alleviate any minor inconvenience those guests may encounter by re-enacting an entire wedding reception in their back yard (figuratively) and for their convenience. Actually, it's a little offensive that they'd even suggest this to you, if you ask me. I know that once you invite guests, it's not all about the bride, but in this case, it's all about the bride. I'd really caution you to call your own shots here.

I'm not sure I understand why two hours away is a big deal the majority of my family and friends live out of state and will be flying in. With that being said having two receptions sounds very pricy and difficult to manage, you would need a planner a large budget and a lot of energy. Not only that but what would you do at a wedding reception if u are not married yet? It would just be a big pre wedding party.

Have one reception. Invite all the people. Done.

Kaity, as Kari said just do you. I personally couldn't handle two receptions. One is more than enough for me. This is your day, I understand your mom and grandma's concern but if you want your venue and you can afford it then do it. My whole family and myself are driving 2.5+ hours and several people are flying in from out of state. They are doing it because they want to. Just be prepared for a few "no's" and explain to your family this is what you want. Maybe offer to help them arrange carpools or hotels if you want to help them some.

My closest relative is 4 hours away. If they love you and want to be apart of your day, they will make the trip. Send out STD to give people a heads up and go from there! I don't see the need to have 2 parties. I would be exhausted!

ETA: spelling

We had friends fly from Oregon to Pennsylvania to celebrate the day with us, I think your family and friends can handle a 2 hour drive.

I live in Texas and so does most our family. We had our wedding in San Antonio which was minimally a 3 hour drive for all of our guests. Point being - if your guests love and support you they will make the drive. Plan your reception for Saturday night so the you get to celebrate your union in a timely fashion.

Two hours isn't too far, if I were you I would just have one reception. Probably over half my guest list traveled farther than that for my wedding, my family is very spread out. The people who really care about you will drive two hours for your wedding without complaint. Actually it sounds to me like your mom and grandmother are worrying about family friends who THEY want to have there, even though they aren't very close to you and your FH.

ETA: Are your parents paying?

Have one reception, invite everybody. 2 hours really isn't that far of a drive. Hell, I drive 45 mins just to go to the gym three times a week.

If people RSVP saying they can't make it, maybe have a small get together a week (or month depending on honeymoon plans and whatnot) after the wedding at your home or a nearby restaurant just to catch up.

Double the receptions=double the money.

Sounds like waaaay more trouble than its worth, and yes....weird.

You realize that a "reception" that happens before the wedding is actually just a party, right? You're not married, you're not thanking your wedding guests, so it's just a party.

That said, you're asking if it is weird to:

Throw a huge party Friday in honor of the marriage that will take place Saturday, which will be followed by an actual reception party to thank your guests.

If that makes no sense to you, then congratulations, it won't make any sense to your guests either.

No, don't do it.