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Mallory
Beginner February 2022

Reception anxiety.

Mallory, on May 21, 2020 at 11:18 PM

Posted in Wedding Reception 33

I'm having terrible anxiety about the reception. I hate being the center of attention so I really don't want to do a first dance and all of the traditional ceremony things. We have food a DJ for those who want to dance (I'll be staying far away) and corn hole and horse shoes will be set up. I just...
I'm having terrible anxiety about the reception. I hate being the center of attention so I really don't want to do a first dance and all of the traditional ceremony things. We have food a DJ for those who want to dance (I'll be staying far away) and corn hole and horse shoes will be set up. I just want to have a good time and enjoy everyone and everything without all the stress of traditional things. Do you think I'm making a mistake? Reception ends at 9 so there isn't a bunch of time that needs to be filled up.

33 Comments

  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    No. I'm treating it more like a party where I happen to get married.

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  • Mallory
    Beginner February 2022
    Mallory ·
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    That's what I am wanting to do.
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  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not like it's super fun watching all those dances, toasts, etc. for a guest anyway :-) I say go with what makes you comfortable.

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  • Rachel
    Beginner October 2020
    Rachel ·
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    A beautiful story my coworker shared with me was that her and her husband, where their reception was held had a place they could escape to and had their first dance privately, played the song on their phone and were just by themselves. She said it was her most favorite memory from her wedding because it was the only moment they were together on the day with how crazy busy it gets!
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  • Mallory
    Beginner February 2022
    Mallory ·
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    I love that!
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  • Kimberly
    Expert October 2020
    Kimberly ·
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    My brother’s wedding didn’t have a first dance or garter toss or anything like that. It was super chill and one of the best weddings I had been to because everyone got to spend time with one another and the couple. Sometimes having those “scheduled” activities puts pressure on the couple to rush rush rush so they stay on track of schedule so skipping sounds like a great idea! I also like what pp said about having a quiet first dance moment for the two of you. That sounds so beautiful and romantic! 😍
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    I love this idea too!!!! We are having 2-3 songs lol. Towards the end of our dance we’re going to have the DJ start calling up married couples starting with 30+ years of marriage and then going down 20+ years, then 10+ years then our newly wed people. I’m so excited for this
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  • Caitlin
    Devoted September 2021
    Caitlin ·
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    You don't have to do any of that stuff! Smiley smile
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    In the traditional first dance, after a minute or so, others are called to dance. And any further special dances are done with everyone else dancing. This whole trend to multiple spotlight dances, people introduced with music, all that is very recent. And a lot of people do not like sitting through all this celebrity stuff. One brief welcome to the guests, by someone representing the family, or the couple , or the wedding party, is pretty necessary. Someone representing the hosts needs to spend 2 minutes welcoming people. All the rest is optional. Garter and bouquet tosses are fast disappearing, more often not done than done . Lots of people do not even have wedding cakes, often some cake or cupcakes is one of the dessert choices, no fanfare. Provided you and hubby individually speak with each guest, either going table to table or a reception line ( less common now) and somebody not you welcomes the guests, you can do or not do anything. It is your wedding. You may quietly enter cocktail hour or the reception, and consider it a party, not a bunch of things you do not want to do. Relax. Enjoy yourself.
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  • Julia
    Dedicated March 2021
    Julia ·
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    I am the EXACT same way. Luckily my FH doesn't care what traditions we keep or toss. We will have a very short ceremony since I hate eyes on me. Just the absolute basics and a quick kiss (because I also hate PDA with people watching you). No first dance, no garter/bouquet toss, no toasts (just a quick thank you speech), no cake cutting (we will have self-serve cupcakes). Basically if it's a wedding tradition, we aren't doing it LOL. I'm not even wearing white! We're doing what pleases us, not what we feel expected to do. Our goal is to have a ceremony yes, but primarily just focus on the reception and visiting with our guests and having a good time. The two of you should talk about what you want or don't want and don't worry about what any of your guests think. It's YOUR day, so plan it exactly how you want and will be comfortable with.
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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    It's your wedding, you do you!

    Typically there is some traditional elements following/during the dinner and guests will wait and take that lead, so I would say if you are not doing a first dance just have it be really clear when others are free to enjoy/entertain themselves. Guests will not want to be rude and will want to make sure they wait for any toasts, speeches, dances, cake cutting, garter stuff, bouquet tosses, and other traditions, so as long as guests know they don't have to wait around for a tradition that hasn't yet happened, then it's totally okay to have your reception be what you want it to be.

    I do think at the very least a super quick thank you is good to do!

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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    Completely agree with this
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  • Naikesha
    Super September 2020
    Naikesha ·
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    I think it's fine to not have a first dance. My bosses daughter in a super introvert so for the first dance they did something similar to what PP said they asked all the married couple to the floor.

    Then the DJ eliminated couples. Like hey guys look at all this love on floor now for those 1 yr and older we ask you to back up then 3 yrs all the way to her grandparents were left on the floor married 37+ years it was sweet and took the focus off her. She couldn't totally avoid us as we still pulled her on the dance floor to jump and dance together. She mostly tried to stay by the photo booth. She was more comfortable jumping in a pic with guest than the dance floor.

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