"Recently" Engaged, can't set a date

We got engaged in May and haven't set a firm date. I'd be concerned if he isn't at all willling to discuss a timeframe. Try getting him to narrow down a season- like early summer before the kids go to to spend time with their dad's family, or late in the summer. Rule out the school year, and then ask this summer or 2012?

Yes, he wants to buy a house, but you can do a wedding very inexpensively- so you can do both! He doesn't have to do too much, just get a timeframe idea.

My FH hates going to all the stuff and coming up with ideas. I typically put together 3 or 4 ideas and bring them to him, like 3 or 4 possible venues and let him choose.

Don't worry you will set a date. I got engaged in May and did't get a date set instone til about a week or two ago.

As for getting him on board maybe try to get the big items on the house subject done first then when those are done you can focus the attention on the wedding, because maybe he just feels like both would be hard to juggle. Just show him that both can be done

Give it a few days and let it rest, bring it up after a week or two. Keep looking online for decor ideas, venues, dresses, and vendors, they can be booked really quick. Be patient and let him warm up the the wedding idea. Congrats on the engagement, by the way.

I say enjoy your time just being "engaged". Before you know it a date will be set and you'll be driving yourself crazy with all the details. There's plenty of time for stress later.

It is not that he isn't excited about getting married. He's funny about waking me up at 5 am and asking questions like "Do we need to have an engagment party?" He even told me to get him a list of all the things I need from him to plan the wedding. I think he's just nervous and has no clue about planning a wedding. Well, neither do I really... does anyone? And every time we do talk about it, every few days HE brings it up, and I mention we need a date he kind of throws the same one out.... one I refuse to use because it was my grandma's birthday. It just goes downhill from there.

I got engaged in December of '09 and didn't set a date until last week. We basically waited and looked around at venues, and once we figured out when they had available and how it coordinated with when we wanted to get married and set the date that way

My fh did the same thing. i think for guys, they dont realize how important setting a date is. once i explained that venues and stuff book like a year or two in advance, how long it takes to order a dress, ect....he jumped on board and we picked a date.

Sounds so intimate, but when hubby and I set a date, we got out the calendar. I "X'd" out dates that would NOT work for me.... he "X'd" out dates that would NOT work for him.... and picked a date from the ones that were left.

We haven't set a date yet either, and we got engaged in May. We did narrow down a season at least, and a month. But the date itself is iffy until we pick a venue. I say enjoy being engaged for little bit longer and then start narrowing it down.

Really? I didn't look at it like that. My grandmother passed away in October of last year, and she was more like my mother. Her birthday was 12/12 and he wants to get married (wait for it....) 12/12/12 at 12 noon. So I suggested 10/10/10, that was too soon for him, so then I suggested 9/10/11. 2012 is to far off for me. We would both love to do it on the day of our first date but that is actually my dad's birthday, and the day we met was my god son's first birthday (we met at his party- Oh, I guess I should mention we've only been together since June. It truly was love at first sight.) I just didn't think it would be this frustrating setting a date. I'm tempted to just go down to the JP and get it over with... but I want the dress.

I'd seriously set a season, pick a venue and that will determine your date. My initially chosen date was not available at 3 venues I wanted. We had to change the date if we wanted to do the wedding there. I'd just narrow it to a general timeframe (July 2011, or June 2012 or whatever) and keep the exact date up in the air until you book a venue.

I say pick another date that doesnt already have meaning to you both. Make a new date to celebrate something.

Me personally, I did not want to take the spot from someone else's day. I wanted my OWN day.

Venue will be the back yard of our new home.

That makes sense Angela. Have you all bought the house yet? Have you moved in? He is saying he wants to work on things in the house- and setting the wedding date is like setting a deadline for him to get those projects done. You are stressing over stuff, but you're also putting alot of pressure on him to get the home ready for a large number of guests.

Try switching your focus to the house with him and talk about the projects you want to get completed before the wedding. Put together a timeline and budget for those projects which may give you a better idea of a wedding timeline.

Like some of the other girls have said - maybe start with the season first - then narrow down to the month - then in that month narrow down the day and don't forget there is always Fridays and Sundays to do weddings too, it doesn't necessarily have to be on a Saturday, unless of course you want a Saturday wedding.

Aww it does take time to have a confirmed date. Mine was in April, then in March then in Jan then in Feb then Dec then back to Feb 19th lol. Trust me it is very common to stick with wedding date, you are not alone.

I agree, choose what seasons first because I picked Spring and Winter for wedding, that is how we started picking dates

I guess I didn't think of the project list he's got in his head... to me the house is perfect, except for the paint color in the kitchen which I can totally live with, but don't want to admit . He on the other hand builds homes for a living and has a few ideas on things that need to be done. Things I know NOTHING about like moving the a/c unit from the hallway to the attic and moving the breaker box from inside the garage to outside the house. rebuilding the privacy fence.... We actually just started the buying process and haven't even signed the realtors contract yet. We would have signed it yesterday but she misspelled his first name. Most of our big details (like venue and catering) are taken care of. My MOH's grandmother will cater our wedding as our gift. and we decided since we are doing it at our home we'd do a BYOB reception. We will provide Champagne, Wine and some beer, but anything else they'll have to bring themselves. We agree on budget. Haven't started a guest list

(cont), but agree that because it'll be in our back yard it will be immediate family and close friends only. I've already chosen my dress and am having it made, letting my two MOH's (sister and BFF) choose their own dresses, and have picked out all the little things I need for decorations, etc. I've chosen favors, accessories... I just need to know how long I have to purchase it all. And, no he didn't like the 9/10/11 date. I am not sure why.