Recently divorced Father of the grooms, Girlfriend?

First, I think it's your FH's responsibility to have this talk with his father. I wouldn't make it about how much no one likes this woman. I would have him ask his father, as a favor to him, to please come alone. He can explain to his father that he just wants this day to be drama-free and without hurt feelings within the family. Hopefully his dad will understand and want his son to be happy and stress-free on his wedding day. Again, don't make this about trying to kick out the woman, just about keeping general peace for the sake of less stress for you guys. If his dad can't go without her on his arm for his son's happiness for one damned day then screw em!

Dear Malkie,

Have your fiance spoke out to you about this concern? I feel that it is his responsibility to speak to his parents about this. If his mother is not okay about it I am sure she will say it to her son and have him talk to his father about the situation. I am sure everything will work out if it is an open discussion and not have any assumptions. Sometimes you will be surprise how things turn out. Please don't stress out.

Best,

Yvonne

Of course, He is the one that brought it up, I'm just putting it on here for advice since he wouldn't be caught dead on a wedding forum This is all really his issue. There are tons of divorced people on my side of the family and everyone deals with it really well, On his side of the family divorce is hugely taboo, they are all very devote Catholics.

He is concerned that if we ask his dad not to bring her that he will refuse to pay for the rehearsal dinner and possible boycott the wedding. I really don't care, I'm with Laura i say then screw 'em we'll figure something out but my fiance really wants both his parents at the wedding, just not his dad's girlfriend.

And I totally don't blame him for wanting that! His dad should really understand this. It's not a personal attack, just a nice thing to do for his son. I really hope if your FH comes at him in a nice way and not confrontational that this can be worked out. He should start by thanking his dad for all the financial help and say how much it means to him to have his father there for his big day. But then explain that some of his happiness is being lost because of the added stress of the girlfriend drama and it would mean a lot to him if his dad could just put it aside for this one day to make peace with everyone. Even if your FH is the ONLY one who is bothered by this, that's enough. His dad should not want to make him uncomfortable on this day. I don't think it's wrong to request she not come, just make sure he does it in a positive way

And by the way, I think this woman is out of her mind for thinking it would be acceptable for her to come! She is obviously a self-centered witch! My FH's parents have been divorced for almost 30 years but his Dad's girfriend was still hestitant to come becuase she didn't want to make his mom uncomfortable! That was thoughtful of her to check with us. We love the girfriend and it's been a long time since the divorce so of course she is invited but my point is that any normal person would consider the family's feelings in a situation like this so I can see why you don't like this woman!

I agree with the other responses, but want to add a warning. When I married my first husband, I had a similar situation with my father. He refused to come to the wedding if his girlfriend (my future stepmother) wasn't invited, so I didn't invite him, and my brother walked me down the aisle instead. As my brother was escorting me through the doors, there right in front of us in the last pew was my father and his girlfriend. They had crashed my wedding, and of course seeing them there caused me to stress as I was walking down the aisle instead of being able to enjoy my moment. Thankfully family and friends intervened and stopped them from crashing the reception. I recommend to anyone facing a possible "unwelcomed guest" situation to have someone prepared to act on your behalf should the person show up.

I have some friends that are going to be acting as bouncers for us they have a list and pictures of people that are likely to crash our wedding and instructions to remove them if they are spotted. I suppose if it blows up I can add them to the list.

isn't it sad that people would do that to you on one of the most important days of your life? How pathetic!

If this was a situation like Laura mentioned in her post, where her father's girlfriend is well-liked and her parents have been divorced for a long time now, it wouldn't be a problem to have your dad's girlfriend at your wedding.

However, your situation is different. I think it is atrocious of your dad's gf to expect to come to the wedding and it is silly of your dad if he thinks this is ok. Considering his gf is the mistress he had while married to your mom, it is highly inappropriate, for your sake and your mom's and other guests, to have this woman at your wedding. If your dad thinks any part of this is ok, shame on him.

Talk to you dad...ALONE. Tell him you are uncomfortable with having his gf at the wedding because it will just stir up all kinds of drama you don't need. If he has a problem with this and says he won't come to your wedding because his gf isn't invited, then so be it. On this one important day, I hope his priorities are in the right place. Good Luck!

Your FFIL has too much testosterone & just wants his to have his arm candy so he can silently brag on his son's wedding day! He is being totally disrespectful to his son & his exwife & should be told about it by his son. I would not pussyfoot around the conversation is going to be between 2 adult men your fiance just has to say your girlfriend is NOT coming to my wedding! If his parents had been divorced for years it would be a different story but the wound is still fresh & his Dad is quite frankly acting like a jerk.

If you have to exclude the rehersal dinner because you can not afford it, because your future father in law becomes offended by you and your future husbands request to exclude the "new girlfriend" so let it be. Main focuse stress free!!! Question you need a bouncer?? It can't be that bad.

I totally agree 100%. thanks a bunch guys!