Real Friends

I added people to my wedding party because my fiance had a group of guys he wanted on his side, and I was shocked at how nice my old friends from college have been about everything. That being said, I lost my "best friend" when I started dating my now husband because she was jealous and also a lot controlling of me. Learned my lesson - we don't talk now.

View Quoted Comment That’s so true

View Quoted Comment You learned your lesson early on. That’s not a true friend and you did right .

I'm sorry it took until your wedding process to learn this. As a young child my parents always (ALWAYS) said that you can count your "true friends" on one hand. Everyone else you call a friend is either a good acquaintance or co-worker. If you have 1 true friend throughout your life than you are lucky.

I never really understood what that meant until I left home to start my life. I was always the one maintaining friendships and then I remembered that life lesson that my parents taught me. Now I know that I have truly less than a handful of friends that I can 100% count on and don't take that for granted.

Yes, my former bridesmaid was awful she only cared about herself and it was very much a one sided friendship. The thing that made it worse was when she started dissing my FH and his family for their military service and I defended them. She told me that I no longer cared about her feelings or views. That wasn't true, but she needed to understand both sides not just her side. One day I was home sick from work and scrolling through social media and noticed we weren't friends anymore. She blocked me on social media and when I tried to text her the text came back undelivered. All in all I'm much happier than I was before because I'm dealing with her daily drama

I think for me I definitely had moments I was kind of disappointed in mine but at the same time I had moments where I was really happy with them too: I realized that’s just how things go, that you’ll have your moments of up and down with anyone but at the end of the day we are all still here for each other. However I do admit as brides normally do on here that I wish they’d have shown more enthusiasm than they did

Yes.. I’m going through it now! Honestly I’m loosing friends and family.. my best friend isn’t even coming to my wedding!! FH side of the family is very difficult especially his mom and sister it’s just like why did I do this but then I remembered because I WANTED TO! 😀 But I have allowed myself to definitely be okay if non of the relationships mend themselves 🤷🏾‍♀️

View Quoted Comment If they don’t mend themselves then it was t meant to be. People have away of exposing themselves when it comes to important events.

Oh yes! You realize who really cares about you, and who just wants to make sure they can say they were apart of your wedding.

Yup. Lost one while engaged. Gave her months heads up on our date then said she was out of town for work and that she wanted to send a gift. It’s ok she didn’t but never heard from her.

Yep. I lost two. One decided she could no longer attend my wedding because of a vacation she had planned. My wedding would be on the last day of this vacation and apparently wasnt important enough for her to just come home one day early. With the virus situation shes no longer able to attend this vacation, so she ruined our friendship over nothing. She also left my bachelorette party early because her boyfriend faked sick and made her leave. And another swore up and down she wanted to be a bridesmaid, but took forever to buy her dress and everything. When I finally asked her if she was planning to come, she didnt even have the decency to answer my text. One things for sure, it makes you appreciate the good friends you do have

I've been struggling with this a lot lately! There's friends I've invited that talked to me a lot when I first got engaged and have suddenly disappeared. Last night I accepted that they're already invited so there's nothing I can do on the front, but also accepted that they only reached out to get an invite and I'll probably never hear from them again after the wedding. It's disappointing, but at the end of the day my two best friends are my FH and my sister and I know they're not going anywhere

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So because she can't afford or doesn't want to spend her money on your destination wedding, she's not really your friend? I call BS on that. If you plan a wedding that costs other people hundreds to thousands of dollars to attend, you have to accept without rancor that some people won't attend, no matter how much we want them to. Why are you upset she tried to get her deposit back? Why did you never talk to her again after she told you she couldn't attend your wedding? What on earth does the fact that you were pregnant have to do with it?

View Quoted Comment That’s so true

View Quoted Comment By the way who said anything about price

I can have any picture I want as my profile picture. You obviously don't know what trolling is if you think that's trolling. By the way, hetercentric much?

So basically my summary of the situation is correct and you don't have a response, so you're doing an ad hominem attack on me instead?

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You did. You said, and I quote (emphasis added),

"My so call friend decided not to be apart of my wedding day because she doesn’t want to spend the money. She literally been in 28 other weddings but when it comes to mine she could no longer do it because all of a sudden she doesn’t have the money to participate due to and the wedding not until next year."

Not even friends in my situation, but negative family. Even though my wedding got postponed, so many family members chose going on vacation or other silly stuff than going to our wedding. They had LOTS of time in advance to plan to go to our wedding. We felt really sick when it came time to gather rsvps "Oh sorry, can't go, going on vacation or sorry, I have three things happening on April 4th, one of them being work..." on a Saturday, really? It was super discouraging. I realized that some family will support others and will never support you because you have a different light, a different energy and on a different path than them. Some things never align, and that's okay. Be happy with who is there to support you. The final count we had for our wedding before it was postponed was 88 people out of 132. Big difference. I have a feeling that when it's time to start inviting people again, that number may even be lower. Probably not over 100 honestly. My fiance and I have had to deal with negative, jealous family who did nothing but try to put a spear in our plans and in our lives in general. We always rise above it and keep positive people close to us. Sometimes, I wish I listened to my fiance and just had an intimate elopement. We may still consider it but ... I don't know.

I found that out. I was sad at first but it's nice not having people ask me questions about the wedding all the time. I was hurt because I asked two different friends if I could borrow their wedding dresses and they both said no. Makes me upset bc whenever I borrowed things from them in the past, I took great care of their belongings/items. When they borrowed stuff from me, there would be stains and other damages on the items.

View Quoted Comment As usual, Vicky is dead on and I couldn't agree more. Your message also says "due to" and then cuts to the next sentence but I'm guessing it was going to say COVID. Which just adds a level for me. People are losing their jobs, furloughed, etc., etc. Due to the pandemic! It doesn't matter if she was in 28 other weddings- those aren't now! Progress financial status' change, especially these days! I honestly can't stress that enough- but I'll stop there.


Of course she didn't want to be involved in the other activities. If she couldn't afford going to the wedding (destination so travel, lodging, food, dress, etc.) Then obviously affording a bachelorette and/or bridal shower was probably not financially in her cards either.
As Vicky said- why didnt you contact her?? You can't simultaneously say "she never contacted me again after that and she used to text me every day!" While also saying "I didn't contact her because "friends dont do that" so I already don't want her to be my friend anymore." Which is it? You want her to reach out or you dont want to be her friend? On top of all that, friendship is a two way street. You want to hear from someone? Reach out.

Also agreed, being pregnant has nothing to do with this.