Ready to cancel the big day

My husband and I had a minimony on our anniversary date and our big wedding is scheduled for March. I've felt like I wanted to cancel the big wedding in March but then we went against it. We want to be able to celebrate with all of our family and friends since we had a small intimate 35guest minimony. But I get it, we definitely wanted to be married that's why we got married on our anniversary date

I go through days of thinking this exact same thing, and then the next day I wake up and I look at my dress and think about how many make up will be done and it gets me excited. It’s a very bad roller coaster emotionally. Being told that my guests will have to stay seated For 5 1/2 hours unless they have to go to the bathroom hurts. Being told no dancing definitely hurts. Even the small details like a pasta dish that they light on fire and cook in a Parmesan wheel And cook the pasta in front of each table cannot be done. Past appetizers cannot be done unless they’re plated. We also have a “no mingling” mandate in my state. So even during cocktail hour which is open bar everyone has to be seated, even though it’s outside. All of this has definitely put a big stab in my wedding bubble. My future hubby keeps saying that we just need to stay positive and that June is a while away. But like you said he moved your wedding to 2021, but who knows if you’ll even be able to have your full on wedding in 2021. If 2021 still has restrictions in place we will be canceling the whole thing. We already decided that we are not making any more payments on the wedding until like a month before the wedding. Because everything is just so uncertain and if we cancel we still lose a large chunk of change. I understand how the excitement can fizzle out after being so sit on a date and then getting it crushed by Covid and state mandates. I just really sinks the excitement

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Seems like it’s a perfectly natural that you’re feeling like this. Breath, take a time out before you make any definite decisions.

You should do whatever you're leaning towards. I think you have the right idea.

I totally understand that. However I have put so much time into all our decorations that we are just postponing till next October. We were supposed to be married on October 24 and I will admit I had a very hard couple of days. We are going to have our wedding on our new date. If we would have been able to be married last Saturday then maybe we would feel different. That wasn't possible either. Do what you and your fiancé' fee is in your hearts. If that means a smaller wedding now then so be it! Hugs!

You do whatever is right for the two of you. We opted not to cancel our wedding and follow our guts and move forward. It worked out, but that was OUR decision and respected anyone that didn't want to come for fear of Covid. We were fortunate, our wedding state was fully operational and while masks were mandated, they weren't for our wedding.

At the end of the day, you have to do what YOU and your FH want. IF the news is right in anyway, masks are here to stay for awhile, covid is here to stay for awhile and things may not go back to the normal we know for years. (I HOPE THEY'RE WRONG).... But, that's why I say do what's right for you.

We did this, and eloped. It was the most special day of my life that I would not have had with 200 people surrounding me. It really opened my eyes to how crazy these big weddings are, and how it takes away from the whole point of your wedding day....you marrying your new spouse. Ive always felt this way but especially during Covid, all that extra stress did not feel worth it. You may find you liked your intimate wedding better than what you hd already planned, I definitely did ❤️

I think the biggest thing to remember is that covid is not going anywhere, we will most likely be dealing with it like this well into next year especially if our leadership does not change. I would go with what feels right, though. I had so many people around me cancelling their big day and and postponing but I decided to go forward with mine and I'm so glad I did! No more covid wedding mess stress. I wanted to throw in the towel numerous times and even though I was stressed I'm happy I didn't.

View Quoted Comment I know exactly how you feel! I postponed to June of 2021, also no dancing or even singing where I am from! Really puts a damper on something we’ve planned for so long. I have just come to terms with I am getting married in June and won’t be waiting any longer. But it does suck the fun out of everything weddings and makes me wish I just did all this back in 2019!

I originally postponed my big wedding from this year July to July 2021. Then I realized that there is no certainty with Covid. My county alone is still in Phase II of openings and they are not predicting anything getting better anytime soon. So we cancelled the big wedding altogether and having a micro wedding in an intimate ceremony with cake and champagne no reception with 16 guests. I’m currently 10 days out and I can’t wait. I took a big weight off my shoulders. The many changes and the uncertainty was taking a toll on me and my anxiety was getting the best of me. We can always have a party later. Absolutely do what feels right for you and your fiancé. The ultimate goal is marrying your Sweetheart.

If you feel strongly about cancelling the big wedding, I say go for it! We got married on our original date in June with a 25 person ceremony and backyard reception. The initial plan was to host a larger reception at a later date, but we’ve since canceled and have no intention of rescheduling. I have no regrets about this and most of our guests have been so amazing and supportive! Most even still sent gifts and cards which we weren’t expecting. We had an absolute perfect day, saved a lot of money, and are enjoying married life so far! We didn’t want to go through the same thing that we experienced this year with there still being uncertainty and possible restrictions at some point next year. We were ready to get married and start our lives, just like you mentioned. Make the best decision for you and your future spouse and I think you’ll be met with lots of support and understanding. Sending good vibes and wishing you all the best!

I was supposed to have my ceremony in June in Las Vegas, we threw in the towel and r/s to October, and now next June. I really just wanted to get married, and I'd picked our date for a reason, so we went ahead with a microceremony with my mom and kids in the park by my house. I'm really glad we did, and now we are planning our friends and family ceremony for next year! And being legally married already takes the a lot of stress out of the planning! Good luck, and choose what makes you happy in the long run!

I think that’s what we are going to do. At this point I’m going to have to postpone it to 2022 because my venue has no dates left for this year and we’ve been engaged since 2019. I just want to be married and start a family.