Rant/feeling depressed about upcoming wedding

Could you do the wedding now and have a celebration of marriage next summer with those closest to you?

How do you get $10k for getting married?

Also, don't stress it - do the courthouse and then plan a big party (reception) down the road! You can do it. You can have your wedding (cake) and eat it too! One step at a time.

I'm way confused on the tax thing...

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I have depression and anxiety, I've had a hard time with wedding planning. I thought id love it, but I'm finding myself overwhelmed with it. Counseling really helped me.

My suggestion is to do what you want and are comfortable with. Is there a way your family could be there, even if it's courthouse?

Do the legal marriage now and your actual wedding next year/summer! I have heard of many people doing that.

Thanks! We get the money because were I live you get a lot of your tax back if one person does not earn a lot but the other one does. The lower paid person pays high tax the other the minimum. My fiance was let go in january and they compensated him so this year it would really matter. I thought about the vow renewal, but since almost none of my friends or family live in my country it would be a destination wedding and I am worried nobody would be interested to come because technically I am already married.

Usually I am a super easy going and optimistic person . and I hope after therapy I will be again . Then maybe I will have the celebration in summer. Thanks for the encouragement!

JJ do not feel sad. I had a courthouse wedding and it was just perfect. I have been married for almost 30 years and have never once looked back and felt sad. I think you may be getting improper tax information in regards to getting $10,000 back if you are married. Who is giving you that information, just curious. You can always have a celebration of marriage down the road. Why can't your parents come to the courthouse?

Germany

If she made 1 million dollars and her husband made none (stay at home) i think she would get more than 10,000 back. It cuts her income almost in half if the spouse made no money.

Although I know nothing of German tax laws, I was speaking of the US.

My parents can not afford it right now and we can neither. Tax information is from Germany I had a tax person double check it. Sorry do not know how to call the tax person in English.

Agree with other PP, do the courthouse wedding now, why can't your parents be the during the courthouse? Have the big reception later

Can you explain to us the taxes thing?

Yes probably I am overthinking this because of my mood. Congrats Devastated MOB to your 30 years!

Yes probably I am overthinking this because of my mood. Congrats Devastated MOB to your 30 years!

It is not US Tax law.

Sorry to hear you are going through this. My opinion might be different than others but I want to be honest. I think that money will always be needed in life and it definitely comes and goes. But memories and emotions don't leave us so quickly. I think that there are other ways to get the money you need but it will require more effort. Also, I think you might regret not having the wedding you envisioned for yourself. When everything is said and done, loved ones and memories are all that we will have left. I do not think money is a good reason to push the marriage date sooner. You will find a way to make everything else work in time.

I will read all your comments, just right now I need to get dinner- will be back soon.

I'm sorry OP, this does sound rough.

If you're worried family and friends can't come, travel to them and do a party a year later. I would try to make this actual wedding as special as possible.

1. Get your makeup and hair done, buy a new dress.

2. Order a bouquet.

3. Go out to a really nice dinner and splurge on at least a night in a nice hotel or do a weekend getaway.

Just you two can make it special. I would give your parents a heads up though, maybe they can make something work?

I know finances might be tight right now, but I think you could do all of this for under $500 if you don't go too crazy. Maybe have a close friend join you day of to take pictures? Feel better, it can still be special!

Thanks everybody for your kind words ,feedback and nice suggestions. It s strange, but you really made me feel better. It is late here now so good night and hope you all have a great day.

Thanks everybody for your kind words ,feedback and nice suggestions. It s strange, but you really made me feel better. It is late here now so good night and hope you all have a great day.