Okay so here goes.
My Fiance and I decided..with the bridal parties help...that we would throw a Jack and Jill. We are paying for the wedding ourselves..because my mother is not helping and my future mother in law is all too willing to help financially..except she just bought a house and there's other stuff going on.
Regardless. My mother things that having a jack and jill is "goche" (not sure i spelled that right?) and that i should just have a personal shower thrown by my bridal party. Now i have told her what was discussed when i pulled everyone together before..but she forgot or didn't pay attention..idk. My maid of honor said that she would still do a shower..but it would be more of an activity..like a paint and sip or something to those effects.
Her other issue is that we are sending out the save the date information by the end of october..because invites are going out in may..(we are potlucking it and we want to make sure we have time to plan any food that we need to prepare or whatever before the wedding). And when creating the save the dates..we are POSSIBLY putting the wedding website information on the card so people will be able to see what places we are registered at. My mother finds that tacky because..somehow..we are asking people to send us gifts for the wedding. And when i explained to her about the honeymoon fund we might be creating..she said that was tacky as well..that we shouldn't be asking for cash towards the wedding (from the jack and jill) and we shouldn't be asking for gifts this early (save the dates) and we definitely shouldn't be asking for money towards the honeymoon.
Now..I love my mother. CURRENTLY she is living 500+ miles away from me....so while she can't control what i do (i'm also 31 to point that out) she makes me feel so small about this stuff. For example..when i got off the phone tonight with her, her final answer was "well just tell me what time to be there and i guess i'll be there". I'm at my whites end. I love her? but this is making me go crazy...second guessing everything I have thought about both for the wedding and now the jack and jill or whatever...
My question is...
Is it tacky or goche to throw a jack and jill party to recoop some money put towards the wedding..and is it tacky to put the wedding website on the save the date cards?
