Putting a cap on how many bottles of wine to be offered at a reception okay? or not okay?

Bad hosting, seems a little too "parent-like". People who are drinking at your wedding should be adults who don't need supervision or a limit on the number of glasses of wine they can have. That seems a bit tacky and rude, to be honest.

How are you going to make sure it is only 2 per person? Tickets? Is it a byob or is it a place that provides it? Offering wine is fine but I think capping it at 2 is gonna lead to disappointment when someone can't get a third or when someone drinks faster and someone can't get even get a second. How the booze is provided will change how to plan.

Don't put a cap on it but I would have the venue notify you when it gets to a certain point just so you are not shocked when the final tab comes in.

Omg only 2 glasses per person for the whole night? I'll finish those before cocktail hour ends.

This would be poor hosting. Alcoholic drinks should be offered all night or until the last half hour for last call (law in some states). How would that even work? Drink tickets? No no no. Two glasses of wine would probably just make me sleepy and over it.

Hi Morgan. I think a big factor here is whether you are wanting to average two glasses per person because of costs or concerns about people getting rowdy. If you are wanting to cap because of your budget then you could do either of the following... buy enough for two drinks per person and when the amount you have purchased runs out switch to a cash bar, or close the bar and provide non-alcoholic beverages the remainder of the night. Just be weary that when this amount runs out some people may have had 3 or 4 glasses and others only 1 or none.

I don't think you are by any means being a bad hostess. I have been to weddings where there was no alcohol provided. Think about what kind of wedding you and your FH are wanting. If its a low key wedding visiting with family and friends then don't feel pressured to spend excess money on alcohol. If you are wanting a big all night party, be prepared you might not get this if you cap the bar, some people will leave the party early if there is no longer access to free booze.

So your wedding is an hour? Then you're all set. If not, ask your bartender. Otherwise you will run out of alcohol and people will leave.

If you can't afford to host your guests than maybe you need to push your date back?

ETA-if you told me after two glasses of wine I was cut off and I saw your DOC I would be pretty salty. Also what about people who don't drink wine?

Nobody is going to rip you apart, Morgan. They may weigh in on the cash bar, but they're only going to tell you that hosting a cash bar is an etiquette fail.

I wouldn't limit the wine -- I would do a consumption package. If your reception is less than two hours, your estimation of two glasses per guest is probably pretty accurate, but you don't want a server to tell a guest that they are only being hosted with two glasses, and if they want a third glass, they'll have to pay for it -- it's a minimal amount of money in the grand scheme of wedding costs, so I'd suggest you don't allow that to happen. So, I'd leave it at consumption, or add enough wine so that half of your guests could order a third glass. Many won't, but some might.

As far as the cash bar -- just leave the issue alone. You don't have to offer a "cash bar", or "do" a cash bar. You have invited your guests to enjoy what I'm sure is an excellent meal (based on PP cost). While I do believe you should offer adult beverages at a reception, wine certainly fulfills that requirement. In fact, I'd print out menu cards and leave them at every plate. They should include the soup/salad choices, the entree choices, the dessert choices (if it's not wedding cake), and the beverage choices (everything from bottled water to soda to the wine choices). That tells a guest everything they need to know. If a guest wants to take advantage of the bar and buy a cocktail, that's up to them. And while I don't think a full bar should be dangled in a wedding guest's face if it isn't open, having a reception in a steak house is different than having a reception at a conventional banquet hall or venue. They can't close down the bar because you and your party are in the house -- patrons that have no connection to your wedding should have access to their fully stocked bar. But, please, don't mention a cash bar. You're not hosting it, so it has nothing to do with your reception. You are providing wine, which is an adult beverage, so you are absolutely within the realm of proper etiquette (offer a variety -- white or red).

ETA: I don't like wine, so I'd probably be one of your guests who paid for my own cocktail. Is it ideal? No, but as I said, you're having your reception in a public place, so there isn't much you can do about the bar filled with liquor.

Don't put a cap on the wine. I would be pretty irritated if I got cut off after two glasses of wine. Lol.

Let the wine flow...uncapped.

You can certainly limit the kind of wine that people have. But not the amount.

Two glasses of wine so 'they don't get rowdy"?

That's ridiculous logic.

Don't do a cash bar, don't limit wine; do unlimited wine and beer and don't take advice from one star posters.

One of the venues we previously looked at had these drink tokens, each person had two tokens next to their glass and after using their drink tokens could purchase more alcohol if they wanted. It was a cute idea if we wanted a half cash bar.

I assume you will only be serving wine to adults, so confused why you would think it's remotely okay to "control" their drinking for them?

No, two drink tokens are not cute. They send a clear message that the guest had better find an ATM. I've yet to see a cute way of saying that. Oh, and there is no "half cash bar". You're either hosting one or you aren't; and if guests have to pay for a third glass of wine, you're hosting one.

ETA: I missed the "rowdy" statement. Who the hell gets rowdy after two glasses of wine with a whopping alcohol content of 5 - 17% (depending on the variety)? Here we go again...

Drink TOKENS? Like a carnival? Oh dear.

The cap was just an idea my fiancé had and I wanted opinions. He simply had this idea to be cost effective not because we don't want our guests to be rowdy..I never said that to be clear. And just an update based on everyone's opinions (which are all very similar) we won't be putting a cap on the wine which I think is fine like I said starting this post I wanted to know what is proper hosting practices because I have little knowledge of it. As for the cash bar it won't be mentioned and I will let my guests decide weather or not they would like a drink that we aren't providing. And we are providing plenty a red and a white wine, coffee, water, tea, soda and also juice and milk for the children who will be present. And for those who are saying I can't afford my own wedding, you are very wrong I don't think I would be hosting 30 people at Flemings steakhouse and paying for my whole wedding on my own if I couldn't!

@Samantha, I thought it was a 'rule' that you can't tell others how to post???

Making your guests pay for drinks is wrong. It is okay to just serve wine and beer, but do not have other drinks available.