Pushy mother - how to deal

I would simply sit her down and explain to her that you appreciate the fact that she is taking such an active interest in your wedding but it is your wedding and you have your own vision on what you want to do. That is the calmest way to tell her, but it may still hurt her feelings. If you have something you may want her to do, then you can suggest she deal with that or you may have to just deal with your mom being upset for a while or so. Its not a great thing, but sometimes it is necessary just to tell her.

Stop sharing so many details with her if she is only going to pick them apart. Tell her that it will be a surprise to her if she cannot support you.

I agree with Analy. While my mom has been nothing but wonderful about the wedding, the FMIL has started giving her "opinions" about things. She doesn't like the shoes he'll wear, she doesn't like the appetizers we'll serve. So you know what? I don't share things with her anymore.

That is true...I suppose I should just stop sharing any details with her. Just had another "incident", though. FH and I wanted to go check out a church and possibly book it tomorrow morning before a meeting I have at 10 a.m. We were going to grab breakfast at 7, go see the church, and then head to the meeting from there (my mom is going to this meeting, as well). Well, I wanted to hide the fact that we are looking at a different church because it only starts things, but she decided that she was riding with me and I could just ride with my fh to the meeting. She said that we don't need to eat until 9. It's little things like this that drive me nuts!

Anyway, thanks for the advice everyone!! It helps! Fortunately, my FMIL is opposite! She is very supportive and we get along great, so maybe I will share details with her instead since I feel the need to share with SOMEONE!

Jennifer...this is OT, but I just noticed that your wedding date is the same as my best friend.... 9/10/11

Ugh...my mother is the same. she wants me to get married in the church, but we are getting married at our venue. basically, every idea we have, she's putting down. actually, i just told her today she needs to stop being such a downer and be happy for me. i agree with analy stop sharing wedding ideas with your mom. i definitely will!!! it sucks because our moms should be happy but they won't change. i want to think and i hope the day of the wedding she will change her mind and see everything turned out great(at least i hope so:-)

Mdyblue5 - you sound like you're describing my mother!! Every little detail she puts down. It really doesn't matter what it is. Today, after I went and got everything to make save-the-dates with my MOH on Wednesday. She said that save-the-dates are stupid and nobody does them. I told her that I do because I want to! She wanted me to have ALL of my sisters in the wedding, which I didn't want, but gave in to to make her happy...ONLY because it was a "family" issue. I didn't want to offend anyone. So now I have to have some bridesmaids walking alone unless my FH decides to add a few more guys to his groomsmen. That was all well and good, but it kind of made her worse. I thought if I gave a little, maybe she would, but she hasn't. She's gotten more controlling than ever. She wants us to have a LATE night wedding since our date is New Year's Eve...and she wants us to have fireworks and stay at the reception until Midnight. That might be a neat idea for someone else, but that isn't my dream

Wedding. I want outdoor pictures when it is actually light out and we want to fly out for our honeymoon Saturday night and just spend Sunday relaxing in our hotel before the cruise. There are just SO many things! The biggest problem is going to be the church. She wants it in her church, but I want it in a gorgeous church FH and I looked at and fell in love with. Anybody have any advice on breaking the news to her about the location? She's been so touchy lately, especially since she found out I'm not going to be living nearby after we get married. I'm afraid to have to keep breaking "bad" news to her!!