Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

K
Savvy October 2021

Purely venting - the frustrations of wedding "etiquette"

Krista, on September 14, 2021 at 12:43 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 28

This is really just me venting lol, but is anyone else frustrated by the silly rules of wedding etiquette at times? - Cash funds - I don't feel the need to do these on Zola because I didn't feel I needed to, but the fact that my family would be offended IF I DID choose to add cash funds, really...

This is really just me venting lol, but is anyone else frustrated by the silly rules of wedding etiquette at times?

- Cash funds - I don't feel the need to do these on Zola because I didn't feel I needed to, but the fact that my family would be offended IF I DID choose to add cash funds, really annoys me. I'm mind baffled that a registry of gifts I want is somehow okay, but saying I want to save for a house, isn't.

- Evites - We decided to get married within 6 weeks of picking our venue (long story but it worked out this way due to military, pandemic + delay after I caught covid). But because "etiquette" says Evites are tacky, my guests have about 2 weeks to tell me whether they're attending my wedding in 1 month. The reality is that taking engagement photos, getting everyones address, ordering the invite draft, ordering the actual invites, waiting for them to get to my house (even with rush delivery) and then finally sending them out took 2 weeks. It's ridiculous that people would be offended by an Evite regardless when it's 2021, but it's even more ridiculous given the unique challenges of our situation. I would much rather have the wedding date ASAP in an Evite with 6 weeks notice, than have a physical invite with 4 weeks notice.

- Wedding favors - Just... why? Lol I've been to at least 20+ weddings and I cannot recall a single wedding favor, I probably threw it in the trash or forgot it. If people want to do it, fine. But it should not be "rude" if I choose not to.


Its just annoying, I feel like everyday I find out something new that I'm "supposed to do". And this isn't a shot to people who don't like cash funds, Evites or do like wedding favors, my point is that these are PREFERENCES and they should be treated as just that, not hard rules

28 Comments

  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Bouquet tosses are less and less frequent as time is going on. I don't like the idea of lining up all the single people, it's just icky to me.

    If you want cash, just don't register and when people ask the "word of mouth" response is "they don't have a registry but they are saving up for....X".

    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy October 2021
    Krista ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Exactly!! I appreciate people who think the way you do because you're considering your crowd and how it could potentially make someone uncomfortable. In my situation, I'm 31 and of my 120 count wedding, there will only be 6-7 truly single women there and nearly all of them are my age and have the desire to be married but just haven't found the right person. The last thing I want to do is rub that in peoples faces that they're still single, most of them are content and patiently waiting for that right guy but for the 2-3 that I know struggle with frustration in that area, it's not worth it!!

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I think you might be confusing etiquette with tradition. Etiquette is a set of guidelines to help host your guests without offending anyone, basically. That's just good manners. Tradition is optional.

    • Reply
  • Rosie
    Master February 2022
    Rosie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes! This is exactly it. At least some of them would probably would love to be married. I know I did, prior to meeting my fiance. Why would I do this to them!

    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Dedicated September 2022
    Lauren ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I love the irony of the fact that it is totally considered tacky to include your registry in your invite but expected for the shower. It’s all just very silly!!! The wedding website is a good idea for that reason! List your website on the invite
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Savvy October 2021
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    The only reason we didn’t do a cash fund were the hidden fees from the sites I found. Skipped the favors, no regrets.
    • Reply
  • R
    Beginner October 2018
    RecentlyWed ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    100% this.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    This is incredibly common.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics