Purchasing bridesmaid dress as thank-you gift.

I would prefer the gift. Buying the dress is a nice gesture, but it is really a prop for your wedding, so buying that wouldn't really feel like a thank you.

ETA: I like Kate's suggestion of the dress and a small gift.

Ok, what about the dress and a thank you letter?

Dress

Personally, I'd prefer the dress if I lived out of state. It'd be one less thing to worry about.

If they dress is $60.00 I would say a dress and a small gift. Like others have said it doesn't have to be anything expensive, I saw someone on here do a double sided photo frame on one side is a photo of you two from whenever and the other would be for a photo from your wedding, which you could insert a thank you letter in its place until after the wedding.

I agree with PPs that paying for the dress is thoughtful, but you want to make sure you personalize to every bridesmaid with a small gift (that way they can see how important it was to you that they were standing next to you).

Would a personalized thank-you letter or card do the trick? Explaining how much they mean to me and how grateful I am that they stood next to me on my wedding day...along with the dress.

I think buying the dress is a really nice gesture, but as a BM, I wouldn't see that as a thank you gift. A gift is about showing appreciation for another person without the giver receiving any benefit. You would be benefitting from buying these dresses because they're for your wedding.

The idea of reducing the financial burden on your BMs is sweet, though. I would still give them a small, inexpensive thank you gift along with a heartfelt note.

I've actually been in a wedding where the bride's family decided to pay for the BM dresses. They insisted it was their responsibility (never heard that one before!) I can't tell you how many times I felt uncomfortable about it and I kept asking the bride and her mom "are you sure? You don't have to pay for my dress." It was nice to not have to pay for the $250 dress and travel to the wedding (which really only consisted of transportation because they put me and the other BM that wasn't related to either family up in a hotel), but still. I kept feeling like I had to keep asking whether or not this was okay because I truly did not expect it and I felt like I need to express that I felt like they were going above and beyond to communicate what an overly generous thing they were doing by purchasing the dresses.

I agree with @Kate. I think buying the dress is a nice gesture, but I wouldn't see it as a "thank you" gift, especially considering the amount they are spending to be in your wedding, which you said yourself is a lot. The thank you gift doesn't have to be expensive, but should be heartfelt and personal.

Okay, thanks everyone. I will let them cover their dress and work on personal gifts.

@BlueHenBride, thanks for sharing ur experience. I do not want them feeling uncomfortable.

Dress. honestly its expensive to be in a wedding, as a bridesmaid i'd much prefer you pay for the things i need for your wedding (dress, hair, makeup) than anything else.

I don't think anyone is saying you need to purchase an expensive thank you gift for your BMs. A simple token of your appreciation and a heartfelt thank you note would be a lovely gift that would still enable you to cover their dresses if you truly do want to take an expense off their shoulders. We're just saying that paying for their dresses alone isn't the way to go here.

For example, I covered professional hair for all my BP members (and didn't stipulate any specific hair style), helped out with their hotel rooms for the weekend, and got them necklaces and earrings to match their dresses, but I still got them a separate gift and wrote them very long thank you notes.

This is a tough one. Their financial situation is not your concern since if it was a hardship, they shouldn't have accepted. However, given the situation, I guess I would prefer to have the dress paid for. However, as the bride, I would not consider paying for the dress a thank you since they only need the dress for your wedding. I wouldn't have considered spending less than $100 on a gift for a bridesmaid so I'd say pay for the dress and get a smaller gift. The gift should NOT be something they wear for the wedding, anything with "bridesmaid" on it or a framed picture from the wedding. Perhaps a nice bottle of wine (if they like that) which you can get for under $20 each. Uncommongoods.com has some really unique items and you can shop by price point. Some of my favorites are: Record coasters - $18, 6-pack beer/cider cooler tote - $20, Slate state cheese board - $20.

I'm torn on this one. I think we need to adopt the UK custom of the couple paying for all the wedding party outfits. I'll bet we would quickly see brides being a whole lot more reasonable about their BM dress choices, instead of the cookie cutter looks we see now.

No one is going to complain about a bride paying for the BM dress, but it's still not really a gift. All it does is slightly reduce their expenses to be in your wedding. They are spending hundreds of dollars at a minimum to be with you.

The thank you gift is to thank them for their support and standing by your side, not to make up for the money they spent on a dress.

I would buy their dress and add a small gift and a card with your heartfelt thanks. $60 isn't really that much for a BM gift.

$60 isn't much for a bridesmaid gift?

Just curious, how much are y'all spending? I've been living under a rock. lol.

I bought a box of 9 bath bombs for $10, 2 12-packs of votive candles for $6 each, and 12 watercolor bookmarks for $3 each. Each of my girls gets one bath bomb, two candles, and a bookmark. The three who don't get bath bombs are getting personalized jewelry dishes ($5 each) or a scented candle (she can't take baths). Etsy is your friend.

I'm spending about $120 on each girl

I know people say that anything for your wedding (hair/makeup/dress) should not be a BM gift (and I see the point), but after getting some BMs gifts I will honestly never use again, that would be one less expense I would have to worry about as an OOT guest. I think I would be ok w it.

In terms of what to spend on a gift- I think 60 is fine. The last girls wedding I was in got us a 5 dollar piece of jewelry (and had an excessive OOT bachelorette and destination wedding). Def raised my eyebrows on that one, but I wouldnt raise them at a 60 dollar gift.

Dress and a small gift. I would likely only wear the dress for your wedding, so it wouldn't feel like a gift.

OP, my suggestion would be to try to find a BM dress for a reasonable price. The ones I found for my BMs were just over $100 with tax and shipping. Tell them each individually when you discuss their dress budgets that if they find themselves having issues ordering their dresses to let you know and you will be happy to help. Then I would select an affordable gift to give them as a thank you.