Private Picnic for Groom & Bride?

My husband and I took about 15 minutes to ourselves between the ceremony and cocktail hour—we simply went back to our holding room, hung out and then took a shot together at the pool bar before re-joining our cocktail hour and a half. So out of our four and a half hour event, we were gone 15 minutes. The potential issue I see with your plan is since you’re not serving a meal, your reception is likely very short. I do think it’d be rude to your guests to disappear for an entire picnic and eat a meal you’re not serving to your guests at a short event.

As a guest that would be odd. You mention you aren’t having a cocktail hour but guests are snacking and drinking. Does that occur before a full meal or is that the only thing they will eat. If it’s the first, then that is a cocktail hour.


If you have that much anxiety over being with your guests, cut the list to what you are comfortable with without hiding away from them during the reception.

ETA: I see you say just snacks and drinks at your picnic, so my apologies for saying you were eating a full meal. But my advice still stands and I especially agree with Michelle’s second point!

Honestly, as a guest I’d think it would be weird & kind of rude. You & your husband would get a picnic & we get appetizers/cake/drinks. That just seem to sit well…

View Quoted Comment We are letting guests know to eat before the ceremony, as it starts after dinner time. Then the later evening (after ceremony) will just be for dancing, drinking, snacking and cake.


Guest list is cut as far down as we are comfortable cutting! It’s definitely not about hiding away, just a brief break from the chaos and the only alone time we’d get that day. 😊 thanks for your input

View Quoted Comment Yes, as your edit said we would be eating the same food as them! Our ceremony takes place after dinner time so it will be communicated to all guests that they should eat dinner before! I’m not sure how long the reception will last- as long as people want to keep dancing! Since they will have already eaten and drinks/snacks/dessert will be available as long as wanted, I would imagine it won’t be much shorter than any other reception 😊 thanks for the response!

View Quoted Comment As stated, we would just be having a quick snack and drink! Same food as the guests 😊 I’m not worried about that part, just wasn’t sure if it would be weird to make a delayed (15-30 minute) entrance!

What time is your ceremony?

View Quoted Comment 6:30! We decided to do it later because our budget just won’t allow us to serve a full dinner.

View Quoted Comment

So, I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but I think you're going to need more snacks than you think (or people may leave early) because 6:30 *is* dinner time for a lot of people (we don't normally eat until 6:30 at the earliest, and sometimes it's 7/7:30). When you factor in arriving at the venue 15-30 minutes ahead of the ceremony, plus drive time to get there, AND time to get ready for the wedding, you're asking people to eat dinner *really* early.

I don't think it's necessarily a problem as long as you have plenty of fairly substantial snacks, but you'll want to plan for extra. I'm not sure what kinds of food you're hoping to offer, but definitely make sure you have enough for people to soak up the alcohol!

ETA: For what it's worth - our ceremony was at 6 and we offered a full dinner

View Quoted Comment Our invitations will clearly state that it is horderves and dessert only. Our wedding website also specifically says to eat dinner beforehand. If a few people chose to ignore that advice and leave early, that’s totally up to them! We will offer charcuterie boards, cake, and a variety of pies- plenty for an evening snack! I’ve already got the food situation decided on and am confident in my decision, but thank you for the advice 😊 My original question was more so just wondering if the 15-30 minute wait for us to arrive, would be weird!

If budget is a concern, you have 2 options to make sure guests are fed the equivalent of a full meal for not a lot of money. You can go to Costco and get sandwich platters, deli salads and frozen heavy appetizers which make a full meal easily. Or you can contact local favorite restaurants you frequent for date night (Italian, bbq, Chinese, teriyaki, Indian, Mexican, etc) about drop off catering where you pick out various entrees and sides that they will deliver in large pans to serve to your guests.

View Quoted Comment Our food situation is already figured out, thanks!

Thanks for clarifying! Since you’re not serving real food and it is dinner time, I do think your reception will be short because people typically have a limit for how long they drink/dance, especially on empty stomachs. So that being said, I wouldn’t spend a minute sequestered from your guests. I get being introverted and needing time to solo recharge in life, but since you’re not having a fully hosted party, the amount of time you’ll be entertaining won’t be long. People are giving time and money out of their day to watch you get married—you should be able to stand being around them for 2-3 hours!

I would be less concerned about a 15 minute absence, than about your guests not being properly fed. As previous posters have mentioned, you are essentially having your wedding during prime dinner hour, but are not feeding your guests. If you are dead set on not feeding your guests and also not pushing your event back to a later time, then I would realistically prepare yourself for people leaving early from your reception. And if that’s the case, you may not want to delay joining your guests after the ceremony, because if they leave early you may not get a chance to speak to all your guests and thank them for attending.

View Quoted Comment Luckily they won’t be on empty stomachs since they will have eaten beforehand and will have been offered some hearty evening snacks as well as dessert after the short ceremony. It isn’t about not being able to stand being around them. I just thought it might be nice to have a few minutes of quiet with the man that I just married, and didn’t know it would be considered so rude to do so! You are right that the elderly and young guests will probably only stay for a few hours, since it’s a late reception, so I will definitely take your input into consideration. Thanks!

Are you having pictures taken by your photographer after the ceremony? It's common for the couple to have a 20-30 minute photo session after the ceremony and then join the reception after. Before cocktail hour became a thing, the couple would just arrive at the reception about that much time later than everyone else. So I think it would be fine, even if you're not taking photos, as everyone will be getting the party started, socializing and awaiting your entrance. But I think it would be even more special for a photographer to capture that private time, at least a few pics, and then everyone will know you're having photos taken.

View Quoted Comment As I’ve said in numerous comments, it will be on the invitation and our wedding website that dinner will not be served. If guests choose to ignore that and not eat beforehand, there’s nothing I can do. I will definitely consider pushing it back a half hour or so, but any later would be unrealistic with the number of young children. I think my family and closest friends will understand that I just wanted to have all of them there, but could not afford to feed them all dinner. (My fiancé and I both have huge families, which is a blessing and a curse sometimes!) I will definitely take your opinion into consideration on not doing our private 15 minutes though! That’s really the only question I was asking 😊

View Quoted Comment We are doing first look! So our photos will be taken before the ceremony. My photographer will still be around though so that’s a great idea! I’m not sure that we will go through with it though, as most of these commenters seem to think it would be rude! Thanks for the response!

In Judaism they include a 10-15 minute alone time for the couple as part of the ceremony. It is immediately following the ceremony and called yichud. I am not an introvert and I loved it! Jews are onto something it was so nice to have some alone time together after a jam packed morning and afternoon. We drank some wine, ate some appetizers, and made out a little. Highly recommend! My guests were at cocktail hour during this time. I don’t think you can not feed your guests so I would at least start them on drinks during this time.