Premarital Counseling...Yes or no?

I actually wish we were doing it! FH also thinks it is a waste of time..

but i honestly think it is wonderful if you have the opportunity. I have never heard of a couple (all of my friends have gone through it) where other people's issues influenced their relationship.

It's required for us, and we just started this week. We have a great relationship and a lot of our first session was actually very affirming--'you're great in this area, this is good,', etc. It was neat to know that we aren't the only ones who think we go well together. I would highly recommend it.

For your situation--I am less sure about the effectiveness in a group. I know that FH and I absolutely would not share anything very personal in a group setting, so the only way that would work would be if we had general discussion in the group and then had worksheets to fill out together later or something.

The Catholic church where we are getting married requires that we do marriage preparation sessions.

My FH and i did it and it really really helped us. our church urged us to do it, and i'm very VERY glad we did. it's nice to have a third party come in even if you are open and honest with each other already. my FH and I are obviously biased of our opinion when having a disagreement so having someone there to mediate about these types of issues helped us out ALOT. i'd highly recommend it.

I believe it can be helpful - not sure about a group one though... It honestly depends on how the one leading the counseling tackles it, like are they looking at the engaged couples and making sure everything is in order according to God standards (if this is smthn that's important to u). Would you be comfortable sharing intimate things in front of other couples - if not then maybe one on one might be better... I do not think you can lose anything from doing it. If you start doing it and realize it's not for you, I'm sure you can stop at anytime.

I see it like this, each Pastor does counseling differently. Sometimes they give you a book to read as a couple. Sometimes they might even give you homework assignments with questions u have to answer honestly about your mate. It might even bring up certain things you two didn't think about. Or like Jenn said, affirm what the two of u already know.

We did it and it really helped us. We were good together before but I feel like the counseling brought us closer together and helped us get to know each other even more than before.

Our officiant (Navy chaplain) required it. We didn't really get that much from it. The sessions were 90 minutes - 2 hours, so we both got bored. I don't think it can hurt, but for us it was kind of a waste of time. Maybe if we had a different counselor it would have been better.

I want to do it (not through a church as we are not church people) but FH doesn't think we need it. We have discussed everything we can thing of already (money, kids, people living with us, if a child has a birth defect, what if we cant have kids.) I still think it would be a good idea but he doesn't want to do it and I can't force him.

I think it is a great idea! It has actually reaffirmed that we are doing the right thing and it has helped our communication even more DO IT!

I don't think you will meet someone who has done premarital counseling who will say "man that was awful, I wish I hadn't done that!"

However, lots of people who HAVEN'T done it will say "I wish I would have made time for it" or "I could have benefited from it".

I think you see where I am going here. If you are considering it... why not just do it? No harm from it. FH and I are doing it and absolutely love it.

We did not - i don't feel like we missed out of anything or are doomed for not doing it our ministers lived 5 hours from us so we just met once before the wedding to plan out the ceremony and done! We did take some compatibility test thing, nothing seemed off so they didn't push any sort of counseling

Do it do it!

He recommended it and I agreed we should. We had some laughs/cries, learned some important things, and met other couples it was worth it. Plus, in Texas, you get a discount on your marriage license.

I strongly encourage you to do it. My FH and I have been together for over 10 years and I believe it was beneficial even though there weren't any points of contention. I felt like it acted as a reminder of how much we love and respect each other and reaffirmed feelings of why we are getting married in the first place

We will not be doing it but coming from very broken and dysfunctional families we have done a lot of work and talking about the things counseling helps couples address. you can even google lists of questions to talk about before a marriage begins. we know where we stand on allowances, on possible birth defects, on life support for ourselves, on family holidays, on friends wanting to move in, one religion/spirituality, on finances, on sex etc. we talk about all the awkward things people think just "work themselves out"

I would definitely recommend it! The FH and I are doing a church wedding so it was mandatory and we were not looking forward to it at all... But it turned out to be really helpful! The other couples sharing didn't affect us really but we both had assumptions about each other that were addressed and there were a lot of things we hadn't thought of that came to light. We didn't agree on everything but it also helped us with that by giving us different resources and ideas as to how to deal with things.

We had planned to look into it once FH was back in the area but then with his schedule changing so much (grr Navy) we never got around to it. Part of me wishes we had but I think that's my Catholic upbringing shining through!

We been together for 7 years and everyone was like "you don't need that!" but we decided to do it and we LOVE it!